About women, sex and health

Vaginal Vs. Clitoral Orgasm

Vaginal Vs. Clitoral Orgasm

It’s one hundred and ten years since Freud stirred up controversy with his theory that vaginal orgasms were the ‘mature’ way to come and that immature clitoral orgasms were for little girls and adolescents. It’s hard to believe that we’re still talking about it now—and that we’re still in a very muddled dispute. But we are.

Vaginal Vs Clitoral Orgasm: In the News! Again.

Since it’s about this century-old debate, I probably shouldn’t be too surprised to see the extensive press coverage that’s attended the publication of a scientific review of anatomy literature. The article in question is Anatomy of Sex: Revision of the New Anatomical Terms Used for the Clitoris and the Female Orgasm, by sexologists Vincenzo Puppo and Giulla Puppo, published in the forthcoming issue of Clinical Anatomy.

In today’s blog, I’ll focus on the vaginal vs. clitoral orgasm argument. The media frenzy is almost orgasmic (although not in a good way) as outlets variously applaud and decry the Puppos’ conclusion that “vaginal orgasm does not exist.” Unsurprisingly, women who don’t experience orgasm from intercourse seem to be on board with these scientists, while women who do experience orgasms from intercourse are shaking their heads and mocking the distance between science and real life (and real bedrooms).

Lizzie Crocker is in the no-vaginal orgasm camp. In her Daily Beast article, The Truth About Female Orgasm, she writes, “Thanks to the two Puppos and their clarifying study, women can finally stop … differentiating between types of orgasms that don’t exist. So … stop taunting us with claims of your intense, superior vaginal orgasms. It doesn’t exist and it never happened.”

I do understand where’s she’s coming from. From her words and tone, I conclude that she’s one of the women who don’t have orgasms from intercourse. I’m sorry if she feels ‘taunted’ by those who do. No one should suffer from orgasmic one-upmanship.

So, for Lizzie (presumably) and all the other women who feel orgasmically shamed, let me hasten to reassure them and impart a few important pieces of information that are missing from these heated discussions.

Let me start by making an important distinction. Most of the participants in this debate are equating ‘vaginal orgasm’ with an orgasm that results from penis-in-vagina intercourse without any added clitoral stimulation. These are not the same thing!

hand-461261_1920The Vaginal Vs. Clitoral Issue

To elaborate: Let’s start with the vaginal vs clitoral issue. The terms ‘clitoral orgasm’ and ‘vaginal orgasm’ are really only referring to where the woman feels the orgasm most intensely. Most people can experience orgasms that have different focal points. While most orgasms are genitally focused, it’s also possible to have ones that feel focused elsewhere, such as ‘heart-gasms’ or orgasms that are so expanded that they feel like the whole body is coming. Even within the genital region, orgasms can feel more centered in one part or another, accounting for orgasms that feel more clitoral, vaginal, uterine or anal (or in men, penile, prostate or anally-focused). The Puppos seem to think that “the few women who report ‘vaginal orgasms’” are deluded by the sexologists and the media. As if women don’t know their own bodies well enough to feel where their orgasm feels centered! If you are in tune with your own body, you’ll be able to distinguish which parts of you are pulsing and palpitating. There is a wide (and normal) range of embodied orgasmic experiences.

Why do we tend to feel orgasms in different areas of the genitals? In part, this has to do with which of the major sexual nerve pathways get more stimulated. More stimulation of the external structures tends to create orgasms that feel more clitoral. More internal stimulation tends to lead to a more internal (i.e., vaginal, uterine or anal) orgasmic experience. Stimulate all the nerve pathways and you get ‘blended’ orgasms that tend to feel especially intense.

andre_lambert_footjob-1917Now to address the separate but related issue about the various types of stimulation that can induce women to have orgasms. The Puppos basically say is impossible for women to achieve orgasms through penis-in-vagina intercourse without any additional direct clitoral stimulation. They say, “In all women, orgasm is always possible if … during vaginal/anal intercourse the clitoris is simply stimulated with a finger.” Rebecca Adams, writing “The G-Spot And ‘Vaginal Orgasm’ Are Myths, According To New Clinical Review” in The Huffington Post, seems to agree, quoting the Puppos: “Every woman has the capacity to orgasm if her clitoris is stimulated.”

There’s nothing wrong with clitorally-stimulated orgasms. If that’s the only kind of orgasms you have, you’re not broken nor are your orgasms ‘immature.’ Any way that you come from any type of stimulation is just fine and dandy! If you aren’t orgasmic in response to penetration, you’re not alone—over half of women don’t have orgasms with intercourse or without direct clitoral stimulation. It’s totally common and completely normal.

295535The most important thing I’d like everyone to know is that women can learn to become orgasmic from a wide variety of stimuli (including with intercourse). Got it? People can learn to become aroused and have all kinds of orgasms from many different types of actions and activities.

While direct genital stimulation is usually an important component of sexual arousal, people can get turned on and orgasmic from stimulation of other body parts or without any direct physical stimulation at all. Extra-genital arousal and orgasms are most likely to happen when sensitive erogenous zones are pleasured such as your nipple, the back of your neck or your mouth (kissing!)

The Puppos state, “Orgasms with a finger in the vagina are possible in all women, but the partner must also move the hand in a circle to stimulate all the female erectile organs.” This would certainly create a limited repertoire for attaining orgasms! In fact, we now have documentation via the MRI studies of hands-off female orgasm done by Komisaruk, Whipple, et al at their lab at Rutgers University that some women are capable of having orgasms by ‘thinking off’ with no clitoral, vaginal or genital stimulation whatsoever.

One thing the Puppos do have right is that women have a number of erectile structures. Unfortunately, they don’t acknowledge them all nor do they seem to understand how they work together. Understanding these erectile structures is one of the keys to increasing the incidence, intensity and frequency of female orgasm. It’s great for the vulva owners to know this, and their partners too.

The Female Erectile Network: A Revolutionary Map of Buried Pleasure

As I noted in So Is there Or Is There Not A G-Spot?, women have what I call the Female Erectile Network, or FEN*. It’s a set of separate but interconnected structures made of erectile tissue—the very same tissue that enables penises to go from small and soft to big and hard. Women have just as much erectile tissue as men, it’s just arranged differently. Some of these pleasure parts are well known while others are almost unheard of (even by scientists, medical practitioners and sexologists).

Starting with the familiar, the FEN includes the super-sensitive ‘jewel in the crown’ —the head of the clitoris. (That’s what most people are referring to when they say ‘clitoris.’) It’s a unique and remarkable structure and merits lots of attention. The clitoral head is the main and usually easiest orgasmic trigger for most women. It is not, however, the only path to female sexual pleasure. The female erectile network also includes the two other parts of the clitoris: the shaft (under the hood) and the 3-4 inch-long paired legs. In addition to the clitoral structures, the FEN includes the paired vestibular bulbs that bracket the vaginal opening, plus two additional structures—the urethral and perineal sponges. The urethral sponge is a cylinder of erectile tissue that surrounds the tube of the urethra. The perineal sponge rests under the vaginal floor, in the wall between the vaginal and anal canals. All of these structures are composed of engorgeable erectile tissue.

gerda-wegener-satyrOne key to making intercourse highly pleasurable and much more likely to be orgasmic for the woman is to make sure that the whole circuit of erectile tissue is fully engorged prior to penetration. Other keys include making sure that the woman is in deep, high-level arousal prior to penetration; using our additional inner ‘sexcraft tools’ (such as breathing, sound, movement, awareness and imagination, to name just a few†) to increase stimulation; having one or more orgasms prior to intercourse; and, during intercourse, using more pelvis-connected movements such as rocking or grinding rather than a penis thrusting in-and-out motion.

 

Orgasmic Learning: The Real Sex Ed

For women, orgasm skills are learnable. Some women haven’t yet learned how to have any kind of orgasm. There’s nothing wrong with you if that’s your situation—there are just skills you haven’t learned yet. Step one is discovering your easiest path to orgasm, which usually involves self-pleasuring and clitoral stimulation. Once women develop orgasmic proficiency, they can go on to learn orgasmic mastery, where you develop many paths through arousal, expand the ways you can get off and discover the wide realm of orgasmic possibilities.

Most women who have penis-in-vagina intercourse-only orgasms have learned how to get there. For those women who haven’t had penis-penetration-induced climaxes, you can develop the skills that will allow you that experience.

If you want to. You don’t have to. It’s an orgasmic option.

carlos-schwabe-spleen-and-idealThere is no right way to have orgasms. There is no better way. Nor is there a Freudian ‘mature’ way to come. But there are different orgasmic experiences. Clitorally or vaginally-stimulated ones, anally stimulated ones, orgasms in your dreams, hands-on ones, hands-off orgasms, whole-body ones. Orgasms from humping a pillow, from penetration of your vagina, your anus, your mouth or your mind. It’s all learnable! You can learn to expand your orgasmic range.

Celebrate All Orgasms

Please don’t let any reporters, scientists, partners (or anyone, for that matter!) tell you that your experiences aren’t real, that you’re not normal, or that the way you get off is wrong. If people with paraplegia can learn to have orgasms by having their mouth or fingers stimulated (and they can and have), then let’s stop limiting and shaming anyone’s experience and learn to celebrate orgasms in any way, shape or body part that helps us have them.

Having great sex is a learning journey. One part of that journey is learning to have orgasms. And, if you choose, learning how to use your many parts and multiple skills to have stupendous ones.


Want to Know More?

For more details about the different structures, take a look at this post: The Missing Female Pleasure Parts

For more information on what’s been misunderstood and neglected, here’s another post: Lost Sexy Bits. (It includes a quickie home play assignment.)

For a few orgasmic pointers, I invite you to download a free Orgasmic Abundance e-book.


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Genital Anatomy in the News! Again. Confusion Still Reigns About the G-Spot.

Part One. So Is there Or Is There Not A G-Spot?

Due to the depth and complexity of information in both the original article and the media interpretation of it, I’ll be posting a series of blogs addressing various aspects of the female anatomy and orgasm debate and discussion.

Confusion Still Reigns

Is there a g-spot? A recent scientific article says no. Media outlets have hopped on that article and are promoting the idea that there’s nothing to play with inside a vagina. I say that while there is no structure that be accurately named the g-spot, there are indeed some delicious, erectile structures that can be accessed from inside the vagina to the great delight of the vagina owners.

Sad to say, we continue to have confusion and dissent among ‘experts’ as well as translation problems as press takes information from scientific journal articles and interprets (and often misstates it) for the general public.

After reading both the scientific article that started the furor and various media reports that paraphrase, misunderstand and twist the data, I’m ready to weigh in with my own sexpert opinions based on my education and clinical experience as a former certified nurse-midwife and gynecology practitioner, plus my current experience as a sexuality teacher and author.

The Anatomy of Sex

Let’s begin with the science—Anatomy of Sex: Revision of the New Anatomical Terms Used for the Clitoris and the Female Orgasm, by sexologists Vincenzo Puppo and Giulla Puppo, published in the forthcoming issue of Clinical Anatomy.  (And, by the way, media folk, this is a literature review, not a study.)

One aspect of their basic argument is that sexologists, scientists and health care providers should use anatomically correct terminology. I agree insofar as terms such as G-spot and internal/inner clitoris are inaccurate and best not used. I disagree with the scientists, however, about what terms we should be using instead, what’s actually there, and how it operates.

The Female Erectile Network

As I point out in my book, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure, women have what I call the Female Erectile Network: a set of interconnected but separate erectile structures made up of the three parts of the clitoris, the paired vestibular bulbs, the urethral sponge and the perineal sponge. They are connected both functionally and structurally. While the Puppos’ article discusses the three parts of the clitoris and the vestibular bulbs, they neglect to consider the more internal erectile structures: the urethral and perineal sponges. These are important components of the female erectile network. While the Puppos are proposing “female penis” for the descriptor of this collection of erectile structures, I strongly believe Female Erectile Network is more useful and descriptive and far less confusing then naming a female body part after a male one.

While it’s beyond the scope of this article to go into detail about each of the female erectile structures, I do want to point out a few salient bits of information about the network. Pound for pound and inch for inch, women have just as much erectile tissue as men do. Each of the network’s structures is composed of erotically responsive erectile tissue, and with proper stimulation, each can become engorged. While women can become aroused and orgasmic with only some of the network activated, for maximum pleasure, get the whole network engorged. When all of the separate structures are engorged, the erectile network becomes like a snug and stretchy cuff of delightfully responsive equipment. Getting one component stimulated and engorged is good. Getting the whole network puffed up and pleasured is way better!

Let me go into a bit more detail about the urethral sponge (so named in the ground-breaking 1981 book, New View of A Women’s Body). It’s also known as the female prostate, since embryologically it’s formed from the same tissue that becomes the prostate gland in males. It’s composed of spongy erectile tissue that forms a cylindrical tube that surrounds the tube of the urethra. It’s rather like a roll of paper towels, with the urethra being like the cardboard tube, while the erectile tissue is like the paper towels. When unaroused, it’s as if you’re near the end of the roll. With proper and pleasurable stimulation, the sponge swells and becomes more like a brand new jumbo roll. The Puppos refer to the urethral sponge as the “corpus spongiosum of the female urethra,” but neglect to connect that to the ongoing controversy about whether or not there’s a g-spot.

Here’s a little-known fact lots of people miss—the underside of the tubular sponge is what in common (and incorrect) parlance is known as the g-spot. I prefer not to use that term. It is not a spot—it’s the bottom of the tube of the urethral sponge. So while I can truthfully say that the ‘g-spot’ as an anatomical structure doesn’t exist, the erectile tissue known as the urethral sponge most assuredly does. Got it? There is no g-spot, but there is a urethral sponge—an engorgeable (and potentially pleasurable) erectile tissue tube that lies just above the roof of the vagina. The Puppos are correct that the g-spot is not a part of the vagina. The urethral sponge is not a part of the vagina itself, as it lies right above the ‘roof’ (anterior wall) of the vagina. However, it can be stimulated is through the vaginal roof, so from the lay point of view it is ‘inside’ the vagina since it can be accessed that way.

And the media? Here’s an example of its hyperbolic and inaccurate response (these from Lizzie Crocker in “The Truth About Female Orgasms: Look to the Clitoris, Not the Vagina” in The Daily Beast): “A new study claims the G-spot is nothing more than a ‘scientific fraud,’” and “Thanks to the two Puppos and their clarifying study, women can finally stop digging around for their G-spots.”

WRONG! Women have erectile tissue that can be stimulated intra-vaginally, it’s just not a g-spot. It’s the bottom of the urethral sponge and I do recommend that women (and their lovers) discover it.

Who Wins The Battle of the Sexperts?

Can’t figure out which ‘sexpert’ is right? How about if you all check it out for yourselves? You can become your own expert and solve the question for yourself!

Let me invite you to do a bit of homework. (This is a shortened version of the suggested guided tour of The Succulent Sponge exploration from my book. If you own the aforementioned equipment, you can do this exploration solo. (It’s written from the female perspective.) If you don’t have female equipment of your own, you’ll need a lab partner for this experiment.

Guided Tour of the Succulent Sponge

Begin in an unaroused state. Put one or two of your fingers inside your vagina, turn the pads of your fingers up, curl them and reach up, exploring the roof.

Remember as you go on your guided tour that this is erectile tissue that you’re feeling, so during stage one of your exploration, that is, in a completely unaroused state, it won’t feel like anything in particular. Since the urethral sponge surrounds the urethra, when you push against the non-puffed tissue, you’ll really be rubbing almost directly on your urethra( pee tube). It will probably make you feel like you need to pee. For most women, this is not an erotic sensation.

Play with yourself (or get help from a partner) and get moderately aroused.

Now, feel it again. Notice the differences in size and sensation. It probably won’t feel irritating anymore, but it may not feel great, either.

Return to sexual pleasuring and get to high level arousal.

Feel inside again. When your urethral sponge is really big and puffed, you’ll be able to feel the whole two to three inch length of it. You’ll also notice its ridged or ribbed texture. If you separate your fingers a bit, you can run them along the gutters or sides of the tube. If you can reach in far enough, you’ll feel where it ends. When you play with it for awhile, you may notice that it starts to feel like a wet sponge, as if it’s full of tiny fluid-filled grapes.

If you’re using a mirror, you can see some interesting sights. If you hold your vagina open and look inside with a light, you’ll see the roof bulging boldly down into your vaginal canal. You can also note the raised circular ring that’s the end of the tube surrounding the opening of your urethra.

Pleasuring Female Parts

Here’s a little tip about pleasuring female parts: most women prefer to have their erectile tissue played with after it’s at least partially engorged. If you or your playmate are pressing the urethral sponge too early in arousal it will usually not only not feel good, it will often feel irritating. Save sponge stimulation for high level arousal and if playing with it doesn’t feel good—back out and turn up the turn on before returning to inner sponge play.

For a more detailed version of your home play assignment, detailed anatomy descriptions and unique illustrations, please see my book, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure.

In part two of Female Orgasm and Genital Anatomy in the News, I’ll look at the vaginal vs. clitoral orgasm controversy and explain why all the fuss is misguided.


For a few orgasmic pointers, I invite you to download a free Orgasmic Abundance e-book.

For lots more details, illustrations and guides to discovering all of the female pleasure equipment, I invite you to read my award-winning book, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure.

For in-depth information, my recently released book, Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play & Practice expands on many of the ideas in this article, such as how to use your ‘sexcraft toolkit’ to expand your pleasure.


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Women’s Health Magazine Gets It Wrong about Women & UTIs

4693614248_97a6977e6d_bIt’s not fair to women to put out an article about women’s health that mixes correct and incorrect information. Let me set the record straight about what they got right and what they got disastrously wrong and what they just don’t understand.

True: UTI’s are common in women and often related to sexual intercourse.

To start with, it’s important to understand that there’s a difference between irritation from too much friction and an infection caused by bad bacteria.

If irritation is the issue then applying frequent and generous lubricant will help reduce friction. Especially if you’re using condoms, and going at it a lot, than lubricants are your friend.

Even more important: make sure the woman is totally and thoroughly aroused prior to penetration. Most people are confused about what constitutes full female arousal and readiness for penetration. For most women that can take 30 – 45 minutes of getting turned on. Without having all of your erogenous tissue fully engorged, you are prone to irritation and significantly less pleasure. Ladies, don’t allow “premature penetration!”

Back to the mistakes in the article. Here’s another place they’re completely wrong: “When you have sex, bacteria from the vagina can get rubbed into the urethra, where it travels up to the bladder.” Nope, it’s not vaginal bacteria that are the problem. It’s almost always bacteria from the anus that cause urinary infections.

Since it’s anal invaders that are the source of urinary infections, the best prevention is excellent sexual hygiene, meaning that nothing that touches in or around the butt should go in or around the vulva and vagina. (At least not until it’s been thoroughly washed with soap and water.)

While the frequency of the sex is an factor in UTI’s it’s not the amount of sex per se that’s the problem. It’s friction, inflammation and un-friendly bacteria. More sexual activity provides more chances for butt bacteria will get tracked into the vaginal and urethral areas. In addition, irritated and inflamed tissue is more susceptible to infection. That’s a bad combination.

They got this right: “taking cranberry extract on a regular basis can help. Cranberry actually keeps the bacteria from sticking to the wall of the bladder.” That is true! Using cranberry extract capsules is a great strategy for prevention and can also nip an impending infection in the bud (if you catch it super early.)

This is totally wrong: “Your doctor may also prescribe an antibiotic that you can take each time you have sex, which will deliver a high level of antibodies to the urine (though not to your blood stream, so you won’t get a yeast infection).” So very wrong. When you take antibiotics, you deliver antibiotics to your whole body via your blood stream. While antibiotics will kill the bad bacteria in your urinary system, they can also kill the good bacteria in your vagina and lead to yeast infections.

The take-away: Make sure that the women’s body is really ready for penetration by taking as much time as she needs to be completely ready. And ready doesn’t just mean wet—that’s an sign of early arousal. For a woman to be totally turned on means that she’s deeply into her state of arousal and that her whole erectile network (her circuit of connected erectile tissue structures) is engorged.

Use extra lube.

Practice careful sexual hygiene.

Have as much sex as you want.

photo CC-BY Graham

Breastfeeding Is The Better Choice

I love that Huff Post is showing  “22 Candid Photos That Show How Beautiful Breastfeeding Really Is.” I love it because breastfeeding is beautiful and normal, natural and super-healthy. Looking at these lovely loving pictures is a great way to end World Breastfeeding week. These photos  are a wonderful way to help normalize something that is so foundational that an entire class of animals is named after it. We are, after all mammals, identified by our ability to provide perfect food for infants via our mammaries.

It’s a bummer, though, that HuffPost also felt the need to put Kim Simon’s article30 Ways Breastfeeding and Formula-Feeding Are Exactly the Same” on the same page. Because, while all parents may share concerns and challenges, breastfeeding and formula feeding are not exactly the same—and their differences matter.

Yes, I understand that many women choose not to breastfeed, but articles like this won’t help future moms make an informed choice to breastfeed. And it is the better choice—no two ways about it. The evidence is clear—breastfed children have lifelong advantages in health and intelligence.

The author wrote this in anticipatory defense against the possible shaming of formula-feeding parents. I’m not writing this commentary to shame mothers who don’t breastfeed. I felt compelled to write it because I want to co-create a world where breastfeeding is understood for what it is—a huge benefit for baby (and mom, too.) Babies that are fed ‘mama milk’ are healthier not just while they’re nursing, but for the rest of their life. Every disease known to humans has a lower lifetime incidence if the person was breastfed.

I love that Kim Simon is a co-founder of the I Support You project, which aims to foster understanding and connection between formula-feeding and breastfeeding moms.  I also want all moms to be connected, supported and supportive of each other whatever their choices.

At the same time, I want mothers to understand that breastfeeding is the healthier choice. Not only that—it also makes life super easy. Here are just a few of the many ways this is true:

  •  Nursing makes it easy to feed your baby anytime. The milk is always ready. It’s the perfect food at the perfect temperature, and there’s an endless supply.
  • If you sleep with your baby (and I strongly recommend that you do), night feedings are simple—roll over and pop a nipple in their mouth! You can actually get lots more sleep if you breastfeed.
  • Since breastfed babies get sick less often, you have fewer cranky sick baby days and nights.
  • Wear your baby in a sling and you can be nursing while you answer the door, deal with your other kids, eat your own meal and so on.

No one should be shamed for their choices. At the same time, breastfeeding is far and away the better option. I want people to know this, and I want breastfeeding to be the norm.

Everyone has an equal right to choose. But not all choices are created equal.


 

Discover the Source of Female Ejaculation

Nectar of Life

In ancient India, female ejaculate was known as sacred Amrita or the Nectar of Life. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, it’s called White Moon Flower Medicine. Western science is beginning to catch up with this ancient wisdom, but while there is more research then previously, we still lack a consensus about the existence of many of the structures that make up the whole female genitalia and the process of female ejaculation.

The Erectile Network

Women have a network of interconnected structures that are all made of erectile tissue. I call it the Erectile Network. The Erectile Network is a matrix of structures that includes all three parts of the clitoris, the paired vestibular bulbs, the perineal sponge and the urethral sponge. Women can become aroused and orgasmic by stimulating any of these structures (or in many other non-genital ways as well) but, in general the best arousal and orgasms happen when all of these structures are thoroughly stimulated.

Erectile Equality

Pound for pound, inch for inch the female erectile network contains the same amount of erectile tissue as a penis. Erectile tissue is mostly composed of erectile capillaries, which are tiny specialized blood vessels that have the capacity to fill with blood. This is engorgement which is what causes erectile tissue to swell, become harder and more sensitive.

splashing-164171_1280The Super Soaker Sponge

One of the structures in the network is the urethral sponge (aka the female prostate since it’s analogous to the male prostate). The urethral sponge is a tube that surrounds the tube of the urethra – think of it like a roll of paper towels surrounding the inner cardboard tube. It’s located above the roof of the vagina. The bottom of the tube is what is currently (and incorrectly) being referred to as the G-Spot.

The urethral sponge is comprised of both erectile and glandular tissue. The glands are the Paraurethral Glands (aka the Skene’s Glands). They’re tiny tubular structures that are enmeshed in the erectile capillaries — think of them like the hair roots of a plant threaded throughout the soil of the erectile tissue. The tubular glands end in about thirty openings along the urethra, with two slightly larger ducts just inside or just outside the urethral orifice. In other words, the glandular tubules empty into the urethral canal. In some women, there are additional openings along the sides of the vaginal vestibule.

These glands are the source of female ejaculate. The fluid originates in the circulatory system. The watery part of the blood, the plasma diffuses through the wall of the capillaries, enters the glandular tubule, mixes with the products of the gland and then emerges into the urethra. From there it can either emerge from the urethral opening or back-up into the bladder.

More Ejaculate Info

Female ejaculation is the expulsion of that fluid in a drip, gush or squirt. It can be a few drops, a small puddle or a huge flood. In fact, since the original source of the liquid is the circulatory system, there’s a huge fluid reservoir and women can continue to make fluid and have repeated and profuse amounts of ejaculate.

Women may squirt once or repeatedly, occasionally, sometimes, frequently, or always. Female ejaculation doesn’t always accompany orgasm. It can happen with high level arousal although for many women it does commonly happen with orgasm.

rain-1563957_1920Ejaculate is not urine, although it spurts out from the urethra. That’s the same hole pee comes out of, so it’s understandable that people might think it’s urine. But it’s not yellow, doesn’t smell like pee, doesn’t have the same chemical make-up as urine (no urea, no nitric acid). That’s because it’s not urine and doesn’t originate from the bladder. The fluid does contain Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) and Prostatic Acid Phosphatase just as the male prostate fluid does.

Amrita Isn’t Lube

Is it the same as vaginal lubrication? No. vaginal lubrication comes from the inner walls of the vagina and it’s slick and slippery. Ejaculate comes from the paraurethral glands, emerges from the urethral opening and it’s watery.

Natural AND Learnable

While some women are natural ejaculators, it’s a learnable skill and any woman can learn to do it. It’s not required. This is a totally optional skill. I will say though that having ejaculatory orgasms is a mind-boggling, intense and goddess-like experience, so it may be something that you want to learn to do! Being a gushing goddess (or being with a gushing goddess) is glorious!


Read More Blog Posts

BE VULVA WISE: What Does That Mean? “Read more about the erectile network and radical genital anatomy from your personal anatomy geek!”

Is there Or Is There Not A G-Spot? “Confusion Still Reigns – Clear It Up Now!”

G-Spot Reality Check “Is There or Is There Not A G-Spot?”

The Missing Female Pleasure Parts “The Search for Buried Pleasure”


Read the Book

Women’s Anatomy of Arousal — Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure to see more detailed images of these structures, to learn more about all the parts that women really have and the amazing things they can learn to do with them.

Take An Online Course

Another way to learn is to ‘attend’ (watch) any of these recorded Online Courses:


 

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Vibrator Series (part 3) – Hitachi Magic Wand

A great starter vibrator for women: the Hitachi Magic Wand preferably with the right attachments. It serves multiple purposes – external stimulation to the clitoris and other outer parts of the vulva plus, with a firm g-spotter attachment, you can stimulate the g-spot (urethral sponge).

Will a Vibrator Cause Nerve Damage? Vibrator Series (part 2)

Another vibrator myth toppled. Vibrator use will not cause temporary or irreparable damage! Allow me to explain …

 

Will Using a Vibrator Ruin Sex with Real Live Partners? Pt 1

Vibrator Series: Part 1

People worry that using a vibrator will spoil sex and will make it impossible to ever get off just by using your hand or using someone else’s various body parts. I get this question all the time. Allow me to reassure you and dispel this myth.

Are We Really Still Debating Vaginal Orgasm?

The Journal of Sexual Medicine’s recent issue states that “There is general agreement that it is possible to have an orgasm thru the direct simulation of the external clitoris. In contrast, the possibility of achieving climax during penetration has been controversial.” They include the opinions of six scientists with different experimental evidence debating the existence of the vaginally activated orgasm. Their conclusion? “The assumption that women may experience only the clitoral, external orgasm is not based on the best available scientific evidence.”

Really? Scientists are debating whether it’s possible for a woman to have an orgasm from vaginal stimulation? I hate to be snarky but ‘duh’. Of course it’s possible. Women having orgasms from vaginal penetration alone is’s just not what happens much of the time. The majority of women—more than half—don’t have orgasms with intercourse. Even for those that do, it’s not usually their first or easiest path to orgasm.

And, orgasm with intercourse is certainly not the only way or the right way. There is no one right way. There is a wide spectrum of orgasms people can have, and part of that variation definitely depends on what parts get stimulated, in what ways and for how long.

But here’s the thing. Woman can learn to have orgasms with intercourse—it’s a learnable skill. If a woman wants to learn how. It’s always important to remember that all of our erotic skills are options, not things any one has to do. And no one’s a failure or broken or not sexy if they haven’t yet learned how to have orgasms in any particular way.

So, I’d like to suggest we stop debating whether it’s possible and turn our attention to helping women learn lots of paths to orgasm and then learn to expand their pathways to include whatever activities they want in their repertoire.

Want More? Watch my Video Blog where I answer a woman’s question about How Can I Learn to Have Orgasms With Intercourse?

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