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Sexual Breathing for Sensational Sex

Sexy Breath

Your breath is the most central and simple tool you have to shift your state of consciousness. You can use your breath in a multitude of ways. Your breath is one of your most foundational inner tools. You can breath to get more present, to relax, to expand your awareness of sensation, to turn off your chattering ‘thinking’ brain and to turn up your turn-on.

More Enhancement Tools In Your Well-Hung Toolkit

Your brain is a powerful erotic engine that can either help or hinder your arousal. You can engage it in ways that amplify your sensual and sexual awareness. Your mind can help you center your focus on pleasure and sensation.

Another powerful way to use your mind is by engaging your imagination. Your gullible brain believes that whatever you imagine is true. You can employ that knowledge by making-up all sorts of lovely imaginary experiences to play with your erotic energy.

Movement is another one of your inner tools that can heighten awareness, increase sensation, and rev up your body.

Joining conscious breathing with movement and imagination is a winning combination for easier arousal, more sensation and pumping up your pleasure! You can use your inner tools to orchestrate your awareness and attention, electrify your thrills and inspire awesome pleasure.

The Sexual Breathing Practice

the-act-of-1419363Here’s a simple way to harness these inner tools. Do a Sexual Breathing practice. You take deep breaths while you  pump your pelvic floor muscles (PFMs) and imagine that you’re breathing in and out through your bottom (genitals, anus and perineum).

You can pull up your PFMs on the inhale or the exhale. You can coordinate the pattern in whatever way is easiest for you, but the rhythm I suggest may work best. (Try it this way and if it doesn’t work for you, do the reverse.)

Take a deep breath in and pull up on your PFMs. Exhale and release them. Continue this pattern of coordinated breath and pelvic floor muscle movements. Relax into the rhythm. Begin to imagine that your breath is actually being sucked in through your bottom as you inhale and is being released from your bottom on the exhale. Imagine that you feel the air flowing into your genitals as you pull it in on your inspiration and flowing out as you exhale and release. Feel the sensations of the air rolling in and out, all the way through your whole body.

Play With Patterns

Find the rate that is easiest for you. Practice and play with it until it feels natural and effortless.

You can use this practice with a slow rhythm to relax. Get a nice easy rhythm going and bask in the calming practice.

Play with using this practice during erotic play. See what happens when you start slow and slowly increase the speed until you’re really rocking it.

Try it at a fast rate to turn up your turn-on. You’ll probably notice that the combination of breath, muscle work, and focused imagination intensifies your arousal.

Add it to your next climax and see what happens when you direct several streams of mind and body energy into your orgasm all at the same time.

4976972267_dcb24dabaa_oSolo or Partnered

You can do sexual breathing alone or with a partner. When you do it as a duo, you can synchronize by both doing the same pattern at the same time. Or you can do opposite patterns, with one of you inhaling while the other exhales.

It’s All Good

There’s no right way and no way to do it wrong, so go ahead and experiment. Play with breathing through your bottom and pulse your way to more pleasure.


Succulent_Sexcraft_Sheri_Winston
This is a teasing, tempting taste of my book, Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play & Practice which is jam-packed with games, exercises and practices like this one.

Find out more about this super useful, inspiring and visionary guide to extraordinary and empowering sex for everyone.

 

“Succulent SexCraft is an adventurous, practical, and delightful guide to owning and operating your sexuality – with or without a partner. This book is superb.”
-Christiane Northrup, M.D., ob/gyn physician & author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom & The Wisdom of Menopause

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Play With Yourself (But Don’t Masturbate)

Image for FB1In our culture, masturbation still gets a bad rap. While we may no longer believe it causes degeneracy and disease or causes people to go blind (although I do know a lot of folks who wear glasses!), we still don’t celebrate solo sex for the wonderful, self-loving, healthy and pleasurable practice it is.

We don’t even have a good name for it. I rarely use the word masturbation, preferring to call it solo sex, sexual self-love, playing with yourself, or self-pleasuring. I never cared for the m-word and now that I know the derivation of the word, I like it even less. The Latin roots of the word mean ‘to pollute with your hand.’ That’s certainly not what I’m doing with my hand when it’s busy down below! Nor am I committing ‘self-abuse.’ When you’re self-pleasuring, you’re doing lots of things—giving yourself sexual loving, learning how to expand your responses, practicing skills, exploring your fantasies, enhancing your mental and physical well-being, improving your vitality, having a good time, receiving pleasure and relaxing. That sounds like a recipe for health and happiness to me! so I encourage you to play with yourself, but never to “masturbate.”

Our dominant culture still encourages guilt, if not of the mortal sin variety, then of the mildly shameful or “You’re being self-indulgent and wasting time” kind. I find this ironic since we get many of the same benefits from sexual pleasure (whether solo or partnered) that we derive from exercise and meditation. We feel virtuous when we work out or meditate, while taking the same amount of time to have some juicy solo sex is considered frivolous and decadent or worse. When will our puritan culture get over it and accept that solo sex isn’t a dissolute fall into wanton lust, but an ascent into self-love that celebrates your desire, hones your abilities and ultimately honors yourself? While the sex you have with yourself certainly isn’t all there is to your relationship with yourself, it’s an essential component.

Are you practicing sexual self-love? If your answer is “I don’t do that,” I strongly encourage you to start now. If you’re thinking, “but that’s not real sex, it doesn’t count,” it’s time for a new story. Think of your solo sex as an affirmation of your juiciness and an essential practice on your path to becoming sexually masterful.

For those of you who do have ‘do-dates’ with yourself, I have a question for you: how’s it going? While you can’t really have bad sex with yourself, you can certainly have mediocre experiences. If you’re disconnected from yourself or just going through the motions, your solo sex will refl ect that. Do you only give yourself quickies? Just having frantic fast-food snacks? Are you a poor lover to yourself?

I hope not.

How would your dream lover treat you? In what ways would he or she delight you? When you practice solo sex, that’s how I invite you to treat yourself.


Succulent_Sexcraft_Sheri_Winston

This post is an excerpt from my recent book, Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play and Practice.

Learn to become masterful with your own erotic energy, delight your partners and have more bliss!

Ecstasy awaits you so why wait?

May Is National Masturbation Month

Or, as I prefer to call it:
May is Celebrate Solo Sex Month!

It all began in 1994 at a UN conference on AIDS, when Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders (the first African American and only the second woman to hold the position) was asked a question about promoting masturbation as a means of decreasing riskier behavior. She replied, “I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.”

Oh, my! A hesitant advocacy for solo sex! For taking matters into your own hot little hands! For touching yourself, in that way, down there! What will our top health care proponent say next? Well, we don’t know because she was canned shortly thereafter for her cautious admission that sex with yourself is a normal part of being human. And for suggesting that it might be something we would want to encourage.

In response, the following year three feminist sex shops deemed May to be National Masturbation Month, 31 days of celebrating sex with yourself. It seems appropriate when everything is bursting and blooming.

And here it is 17 years later and where are we with promoting, advocating and celebrating masturbation? You would think with our current climate of abstinence-only fear-based sex education that we’d be encouraging our teens to self-pleasure. And teaching them how. After all, as Woody Allen so famously said, “At least it’s sex with someone I love”.

Yet since the definition of abstinence is unclear we don’t even know if most sex-ed programs for teens include solo-sex as an option, much less as a behavior that we encourage. The most common sexual behavior is still shameful, mocked and not celebrated or taught as the empowering self-loving, healthy act that it is. It doesn’t seem like we’ve made much progress!

However, at least on a personal level, you can reclaim you right to delicious self-pleasure right now! And all month! Are you being a fabulous lover to yourself? When was the last time you had a hot date with you? Perhaps you need to spice up your life with more solo-quickies! Whatever else you do, remember to take time this month for your pleasure. Dedicate a few orgasms to Jocelyn or your other heros and heroines of sexual liberation, including, I hope yourself! Go on, go play with yourself, all month long. And why stop there? You can celebrate self-love for your whole life!

Solo Sex!

Solo Sex – it’s sex with someone you love! Find out why I don’t call it masturbation and why it’s so good and important to do.

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