Take the Vulva Pillow Tour

Want to Know More? Read the following Blogs:

See the Erectile Network here: Be VulvaWise.

For more details about the different structures, take a look at this post: The Missing Female Pleasure Parts.

For more information on what’s been misunderstood and neglected, here’s another post: Lost Sexy Bits. (It includes a quickie home play assignment.)

You Can Become VulvaWise!

It’s simple: check out this information. Then explore out your own or a friendly and willing vulva-owning person’s body. Once you experience all the parts, you’ll be your own expert. Once you know, you’ll be vulvawise!

PS: If you’re wondering what happened with the Spanish translation fund-raising project: we succeeded! Look out for the Spanish version of Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by the end of 2017!


Want Even More Vulva-Wisdom?

GET THE BOOK
You can have it by reading the award-winning Women’s Anatomy of Arousal book. It’s available as a physical book, as a Kindle or an audiobook!

TAKE THE COURSE
You can ‘attend’ the recorded 4-session online Women’s Anatomy of Arousal course.

 


Beautiful Bodies – Spanish Translation Campaign Animation

Beautiful Bodies Animation was created to support the Women’s Anatomy of Arousal Spanish translation project. We succeeded in our fund-raising efforts thanks to many wonderful, generous supporters! Look out for the Spanish version of Women’s Anatomy of Arousal by the end of 2017.

This awesome animation is by Alberto Grillasca. Go here to see more of work: aggrillasca.com.


Want to Know More About Female Genital Anatomy?

For more details about the erectile structures, take a look at this post: The Missing Female Pleasure Parts

For more information on what’s been misunderstood and neglected, here’s another post: Lost Sexy Bits. (It includes a quickie home play assignment.)

Become VulvaWise!

It’s simple: check out this information. Check out your own or a friendly and willing vulva-owning person’s body. Once you experience all the parts, you’ll be your own expert. Once you know, you’ll be vulvawise!


Want Even More Vulva-Wisdom?

GET THE BOOK
You can have it by reading the award-winning Women’s Anatomy of Arousal book. It’s available as a physical book, as a Kindle or an audiobook!

TAKE THE COURSE
You can ‘attend’ the recorded 4-session online Women’s Anatomy of Arousal course.

 


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Be Vulva Wise

What Does That Mean?

To be VULVA WISE means that you understand the basics of female genital anatomy, including the parts that most people (yes, even sex educators, doctor, midwives and other experts) don’t know about.

What Is This Image?

This is the Female Erectile Network!

It’s an awesome set of interconnected but separate female genital structures all made out of erectile tissue.

What’s Erectile Tissue?

The most familiar form of erectile tissue is in the penis. It’s what enables them to transform from small and soft to big and hard.

Do Women Have the Same Stuff?

Pound for pound and inch for inch, women have just as much erectile tissue as men. It’s just arranged differently. The female genitals contain just as much of this expandable, engorgable, highly pleasurable tissue as male genitals do. Just as much!

Where Is It All?

The erectile tissue makes up the Female Erectile Network. The structures include the three parts of the clitoris; the paired vestibular bulbs; the urethral sponge; and the perineal sponge.

 

Want to Know More?

For more details about the different structures, take a look at this post: The Missing Female Pleasure Parts

For more information on what’s been misunderstood and neglected, here’s another post: Lost Sexy Bits.  (It includes a quickie home play assignment.)

Become VulvaWise!

It’s simple: check out this information. Check out your own or a friendly and willing vulva-owning person’s body. Once you experience all the parts, you’ll be your own expert. Once you know, you’ll be vulvawise!


Want to learn more about women’s astounding, engorgable and delightful erotic equipment?

Find out why Dr. Christiane Northrup has called Women’s Anatomy of Arousal “the most comprehensive, user-friendly, practical and uplifting book on women’s sexuality I’ve ever read. It’s the gold standard!”

Get More Women’s Anatomy of Arousal!

Arousal_frontcover-w-Book of theYear Award
Read the award-winning Women’s Anatomy of Arousal book.

WINNER, 2010 BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD!
(From The American Assoc of Sex Educators, Counselors & Therapists)

It’s available as a physical book, as a Kindle or an audiobook!


Want Even More Vulva-Wisdom?

TAKE THE COURSE!
You can ‘attend’ the recorded 4-session
online Women’s Anatomy of Arousal course.

 


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Vaginal Sweet Spots

Q: Are you Familiar with the A-spot? I am re-reading your awesome book ‘woman’s anatomy of arousal’ and was curious to know if you have heard of the A-spot? From what I can tell is that there hasn’t been much research done on this area.

– Christina from ConfidentLovers.com

side-view-w-pudendal-pelvic-hypogastric-nerves_v3_labeled-1

This image shows the major nerve pathways. You can see the uterus (in yellow with an orange cervix) and how there are branches off of the Pelvic Nerve in front and in back of the cervix. Illustration by Sheri Winston, Copyright 2009

A: Hi Christina,

Thanks for your great question. It seems that leopards have taken over vaginas because there are so many spots! I have to admit, though, I’m not a big fan of the ‘spot’ meme in general, so I don’t use the term A-Spot. (or pretty much any other specific ‘spot’.) There are no actual anatomical spots.

Where’s the A-Spot

What I believe people are referring to when they use the term A-spot are the areas in front of the cervix where nerve plexuses emerge. “A” refers to the spot that’s anterior to the cervix. It’s in the fornix (or fold) in front of the cervix.

Sweet Nerve Bundles

A plexus is a bundle of intertwined nerves, like a tree trunk with roots and branches. Like all spinal nerves, they come in pairs. Any place that is richly innervated provides great pleasure potential, so all of the plexuses are wonderful sweet ‘spots’ for sexual stimulation.

There are a variety of places where vaginal nerve plexuses are located. There are the ones you’re asking about, in front of the cervix, as well as plexuses behind it and on the posterior vaginal wall.

A Wise Variety of Variations

One of the interesting things about anatomy is that while many things are very consistent from person to person (like bones or muscles), nerve patterns are quite variable. This is why every vagina owner (and visitor), needs to map out the location of their individual sweet spots. While every vagina will have nerve bundles that are in the anterior cervical fornix (that’s the fold in front of the cervix) the exact location can be more forward or back, closer together or wider apart.

Why This Wiring

I always like to understand not only how we’re wired but why we connected that way. Here’s what I think is going on with the cervical nerve plexuses. Part of the arousal process for women involves the uterus getting pulled up and forward. (I cover this in much more detail in my Women’s Anatomy of Arousal book or online course.) As the uterus is pulled up, it would naturally stretch and therefore stimulate the nerves adjacent to the cervix. This is why they’re wired to be pleasurable areas to excite and why stimulating them will help with things like increasing arousal and vaginal lubrication.

Erotic Mapping Expeditions

Have fun doing highly personal pleasure research to map out your (or your lovers’) sweet spots. I highly recommend exploring and finding all of the especially pleasurable areas inside and outside the vagina including all the wonderful erogenous erectile tissue and all of the nerve plexuses.

Happy hunting!


Go here to read a blog post about The Missing Female Pleasure Parts.


The Spanish Translation fundraising campaign is LIVE!

Click here to Support it NOW!

Women’s Anatomy of Arousal provides the life-changing and integral map that all women (and their partners) need.

Now, we want to get this information into the hands of the multitude of people who speak Spanish. Please help us fund this important translation!

Go here to donate
(and review the hot rewards)!

Ways You Can Help

This is an ALL OR NOTHING campaign. Which means if we don’t raise our goal, we don’t receive any funds. So please do one (or both) of the following if you wish us to succeed!

1) BACK THE PROJECT at whatever level you can. EVERY contribution counts!

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Please help make the campaign a success and be a part of the team that gets this vital information out into the Spanish-speaking world!

Donate NOW (and get cool and hot) perks!


Want to learn more about women’s astounding, engorgable and delightful erotic equipment?

Find out why Dr. Christiane Northrup has called Women’s Anatomy of Arousal “the most comprehensive, user-friendly, practical and uplifting book on women’s sexuality I’ve ever read. It’s the gold standard!”

Get More Women’s Anatomy of Arousal!

Arousal_frontcover-w-Book of theYear Award
Read the award-winning Women’s Anatomy of Arousal book.

WINNER, 2010 BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD!
(From The American Assoc of Sex Educators, Counselors & Therapists)

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Sexual Breathing for Sensational Sex

Sexy Breath

Your breath is the most central and simple tool you have to shift your state of consciousness. You can use your breath in a multitude of ways. Your breath is one of your most foundational inner tools. You can breath to get more present, to relax, to expand your awareness of sensation, to turn off your chattering ‘thinking’ brain and to turn up your turn-on.

More Enhancement Tools In Your Well-Hung Toolkit

Your brain is a powerful erotic engine that can either help or hinder your arousal. You can engage it in ways that amplify your sensual and sexual awareness. Your mind can help you center your focus on pleasure and sensation.

Another powerful way to use your mind is by engaging your imagination. Your gullible brain believes that whatever you imagine is true. You can employ that knowledge by making-up all sorts of lovely imaginary experiences to play with your erotic energy.

Movement is another one of your inner tools that can heighten awareness, increase sensation, and rev up your body.

Joining conscious breathing with movement and imagination is a winning combination for easier arousal, more sensation and pumping up your pleasure! You can use your inner tools to orchestrate your awareness and attention, electrify your thrills and inspire awesome pleasure.

The Sexual Breathing Practice

the-act-of-1419363Here’s a simple way to harness these inner tools. Do a Sexual Breathing practice. You take deep breaths while you  pump your pelvic floor muscles (PFMs) and imagine that you’re breathing in and out through your bottom (genitals, anus and perineum).

You can pull up your PFMs on the inhale or the exhale. You can coordinate the pattern in whatever way is easiest for you, but the rhythm I suggest may work best. (Try it this way and if it doesn’t work for you, do the reverse.)

Take a deep breath in and pull up on your PFMs. Exhale and release them. Continue this pattern of coordinated breath and pelvic floor muscle movements. Relax into the rhythm. Begin to imagine that your breath is actually being sucked in through your bottom as you inhale and is being released from your bottom on the exhale. Imagine that you feel the air flowing into your genitals as you pull it in on your inspiration and flowing out as you exhale and release. Feel the sensations of the air rolling in and out, all the way through your whole body.

Play With Patterns

Find the rate that is easiest for you. Practice and play with it until it feels natural and effortless.

You can use this practice with a slow rhythm to relax. Get a nice easy rhythm going and bask in the calming practice.

Play with using this practice during erotic play. See what happens when you start slow and slowly increase the speed until you’re really rocking it.

Try it at a fast rate to turn up your turn-on. You’ll probably notice that the combination of breath, muscle work, and focused imagination intensifies your arousal.

Add it to your next climax and see what happens when you direct several streams of mind and body energy into your orgasm all at the same time.

4976972267_dcb24dabaa_oSolo or Partnered

You can do sexual breathing alone or with a partner. When you do it as a duo, you can synchronize by both doing the same pattern at the same time. Or you can do opposite patterns, with one of you inhaling while the other exhales.

It’s All Good

There’s no right way and no way to do it wrong, so go ahead and experiment. Play with breathing through your bottom and pulse your way to more pleasure.


Succulent_Sexcraft_Sheri_Winston
This is a teasing, tempting taste of my book, Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play & Practice which is jam-packed with games, exercises and practices like this one.

Find out more about this super useful, inspiring and visionary guide to extraordinary and empowering sex for everyone.

 

“Succulent SexCraft is an adventurous, practical, and delightful guide to owning and operating your sexuality – with or without a partner. This book is superb.”
-Christiane Northrup, M.D., ob/gyn physician & author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom & The Wisdom of Menopause

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My Personal Sexual Harassment & Groping Score: What’s Yours?

All this talk of groping and forced kissing got me thinking. What’s my count of unwanted sexual encroachment? What’s yours?

I consider myself a woman who has not been sexually assaulted. Not in the ‘classic’ sense of being raped or sodomized. I wasn’t incested nor have I experienced date rape. And yet, as the cultural conversation turns to the topics of harassment, groping and unwanted kissing, I started to think about my list of negative sexual experiences that do actually constitute sexual assault. My list was surprisingly (and yet not surprisingly) long. My first unwanted experience was with the milkman (yes, in the old days when someone delivered milk to your door!). I was seven and he grabbed me and tongue-kissed me! While it never occurred to me to tell my parents, I did have the good sense to never go near him again. In fact, one day my whole family visited him at his farm and I distinctly remember being very careful to not be alone with him all the entire day despite his efforts to ‘show me the hayloft.’

I’m not counting any of the incidents that occurred in my sexual explorations with boys and men because I was freely participating (albeit from a sometimes ambivalent place).

Next stop: I moved to New York City right after high school. I was an innocent (in the ways of the street, at least) young ‘hottie’ roaming the wilds of New Yawk, dressed in my artsy thrift-shop vintage slutwear.

There I had a variety of unpleasant, infuriating and sometimes scary experiences.

The first shocker was the catcalls and commentary from men on the street. No one in the suburbs where I grew up had ever screamed lewd remarks about my boobs, described the things they wanted to do to me or the ways in which I could be of service to them. At first, I shot back nasty comments and put-downs, but that just seemed to fire them up to assault me with nastier words, including, of course what a bitch I was for not swooning at their feet or dropping to my knees. I soon learned that ignoring them and swallowing my rage was a safer approach and likely to end the verbal assaults more quickly.

There was the creepy guy who followed me on the street muttering about all the things he wanted to do to me. There was the silent hoodie guy who followed me out of the subway at the mostly deserted hour of 5 AM and stalked me through the streets. Both times, being in neighborhoods I knew, I headed for an open deli, went in and told the men working there that a creepy guy was following me and got their support and protection until the predator went away.

I was groped on the subway a number of times in the rush-hour packed car, unable to know where the offending hand was coming from. I saw several flashers and a few causal subway masturbators.

There was the guy on the street who grabbed my ass. I spun around and kicked him the kneecap with my pointy-toed boot. My friend was worried that he was going to knife me or shoot me, but I was still young enough to feel invulnerable and pissed-off enough to want to hurt him. So I did.

And then there were the clubs and bars. Another guy grabbed my ass and got kicked in the kneecap, too. There was the man who grabbed me from behind while I was dancing—he got an elbow in his solar plexus. The next one grabbed me on the dance floor (a stomp on his instep for that one). The one who glommed onto my girlfriend got my fist to his solar plexus … and so on and on and on. I guess I’m lucky that none of them hit back, stabbed me or shot me.

I believe my impulse to hit back came from having an older brother. As little kids we sometimes fought, winding up rolling on the floor in an all-out brawl. He was older and bigger, but I fought back with whatever I could. I fought ‘dirty’ when I needed to, kicking, punching, pulling hair and even biting when he was overpowering me. I’m grateful that I learned to fight back—and also grateful that my fighting back against the gropers never got me injured. Again, I now realize how lucky I was.

Don’t forget the landlord, who after fixing my toilet grabbed me and laid a slobbery gross tongue-kiss on my unsuspecting mouth. He was a big strong guy and I was a small woman, alone in my apartment. So rather than hit back, I threatened to tell his wife if he ever did anything like that again. (That definitely scared him!) I still made sure never to be alone with again.

As far as bosses or co-workers, I was very lucky to never have a predatory guy at a job, but then again, I’ve been in business for myself for most of my work life. So, while I can certainly be a bitch to myself, I never created a self-hostile workplace vibe.

So, to add up my creepy guy score: Gropers: A dozen or more. Flashers and public masturbators: Five or six, as near I can recall. Unwanted kissing (plus extra points for the first guy because I was a child): Two. Overall, my physical harassment score is over twenty.

If I were to include all the men who cat-called me on the street, the count would soar. That number seems endless, a multitude of rude aggressive harassment from countless men.

In sum, I’ve encountered lots and lots of sex-related boundary violations. Fortunately, they were mostly relatively minor. I consider myself blessed to have been spared more aggressive and invasive sexual assault. I don’t believe my experience is unusual. As a midwife and gynecology provider for over twenty years and as a sexuality educator for 17 years, I am well aware of how often women are violated.

But as I ponder my own, relatively benign history, I have to reassess my earlier statement that I haven’t experienced sexual assault. While the violations were ‘minor,’ the effects on me were not. I have lived, as I think most women do, in a culture that has made it necessary for me to be on alert every time I walk out my door. A culture where the so-called ‘locker room’ has potentially invaded every space and created a need to be vigilant in an environment that feels unsafe.

Has the time finally come where a culture that creates such a hostile and threatening environment for women will no longer be tolerated?

As I pondered these issues and I started counting, I recalled more and more incidents that qualified as sexual assault and harassment. The final score: hundreds of men.

That got me to thinking, inspired me to write this post and has me wondering: how long is your list, especially once you include the full range of ways you’ve been can violated, trespassed and harassed? What’s your score?

When will the time come when, as women and as a culture, we decide that any number is unacceptable. Are we arriving at the time when we’ve finally had enough?

Breath: Your Most Basic Body Tool

In the Beginning Was the Breath

Breath. It’s the foundation of life itself, one of the unchanging rhythms of existence. When you were born, the first thing you did was breathe—you ‘inspired.’ When you stop breathing, you die—you ‘expire.’

Breath: The Bridge to Somewhere

No one had to teach you how to breathe. The pattern of your respiration is determined by your actions, emotions and energy. If you’re anxious, your breath tightens, becoming short and restrained. Panic makes it rapid, shallow and frantic. If you run fast, you breathe hard and deep. As you relax, it lengthens into a regular sweeping flow. Most of the time, your emotional, mental and physical state are the engine of the train, pulling the car of your breath behind.

But you don’t have to breathe on auto-pilot. You can use your breath to alter your state. Your respiratory system is innervated by both your involuntary and voluntary nervous systems—it’s the only system in your body with that overlap. It’s where conscious choice intersects with unconscious programming. That means that your breath can become the ‘engine,’ pulling the ‘train’ of your state along behind. Anytime you want, you can become aware of your breath pattern and have it take the lead. While there are limits—you can’t breathe once an hour or 300 times a minute—within those bookends, you have a great deal of flexibility.

There are innumerable ways to use your breathing to shift your state, including many ways to use it to enhance your pleasure. You can use your breathing to relax, get present, turn off your inner chatter-box, to turn on your body and to expand your orgasms. While there are no right or wrong ways to breath and to use your respiration as a conscious tool, it is possible to have less then pleasurable effects.

Hyperventilanne-anderson-wind-blowsation

When you play with your breathing, you can ‘over-breathe’ or hyperventilate, disturbing your body’s critical balance of oxygen and carbon dioxide. Your inner warning sensors will respond when you’re exhaling too much (when you have too little carbon dioxide) and not inhaling enough, (not enough oxygen). At that point you’ll start to have symptoms of hyperventilation such as dizziness, tingling lips and fingers, and spasms of your hands, feet and face.

 

Hyperventilation Prevention

Prevent hyperventilation with the following practices:

  • Keep your inhale and exhale the same length.
  • Even when breathing rapidly, make sure to take deep breaths.
  • Alternate fast breathing practices with slow ones.
  • Intersperse a few deep slow breaths with fast breathing.
  • When breathing fast or doing long exhales, reinforce your breath with other tools, especially sound and traditional ‘hands-on’ stimulation. The more you use your whole toolkit to build your arousal, the less likely you are to hyperventilate no matter how wildly you breathe.

Hyperventilation Treatment

Feeling woozy and tingly (and not in a good way)? To treat impending hyperventilation, you can:

  • Make your inhale long and slow and do shorter exhales.
  • Take a breath in, hold it for a count of three, then release slowly.
  • Breathe into your cupped hands.

Play with your breathing. Run experiments and see how it can fire you up or calm you down, expand your awareness and bring you into your pleasure. Breath is the centerpiece of many spiritual practices and mind-body disciplines because of it’s power to consciously shift your consciousness. It’s your most basic and flexible body tool. So remember: you can use it anytime, anywhere, to go wherever you want to go. And don’t forget to practice safe breathing!


Why SexCraft? Because sex isn’t just natural, it’s a craft, and awesome sex is learnable!

SSC-3D-150x214Want to learn more about how to use your breath and other ‘SexCraft’ tools? This blog is an excerpt from my book, Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play & Practice. It’s the book that can guide you to discovering your awesome erotic potential!olc_succulent_sexcraft_product-image

Would you rather get personal teaching direct from me? You can get the online course of Succulent SexCraft. Go here for more info about this enlightening erotic education course.


 

The Missing Female Pleasure Parts

The Search for Buried Pleasure

What’s wrong with our standard map of female genital anatomy? Unfortunately, what’s missing from the picture is most of the equipment responsible for pleasure, arousal and orgasm. The clitoris is just the tip of the volcano!

Women have a set of interconnected but separate erectile structures that I call the Female Erectile Network (“FEN”). It’s comprised of multiple parts that are functionally and structurally connected. They are the three parts of the clitoris, the paired vestibular bulbs, the urethral sponge and the perineal sponge.

While it’s beyond the scope of this article to go into detail about each of the female erectile structures, I do want to point out a few salient bits of information about the erectile network. Erectile tissue is penises are mostly made of. It’s what gives them the ability to go from small and soft to big and hard.

Here’s the key point: Pound for pound and inch for inch, women have just as much erectile tissue as men. It’s just arranged differently. The female genitals contain just as much of this expandable, engorgable, highly pleasurable tissue as male genitals do. Just as much!

Some of these pleasure parts are well known while others are almost unheard of (even by scientists, medical practitioners and sexologists).

female-erectile-network-labels-color-web_v2To start with the familiar, the FEN includes the super-sensitive ‘jewel in the crown’—the head of the clitoris. (That’s what most people are referring to when they say ‘clitoris.’) It’s a unique and remarkable structure and merits lots of attention. The clitoral head is the main and usually easiest orgasmic trigger for most women. It is not, however, the only path to female sexual pleasure. Just for starters, the clitoris itself also includes two other parts: the shaft (under the hood) and the three to four inch-long paired legs. And they are all composed of—that’s right—erectile tissue!

But that’s not all! In addition to the clitoral structures, the FEN includes the paired vestibular bulbs that bracket the vaginal opening, plus two additional structures—the urethral and perineal sponges.

The Vestibular Bulbs

These two substantial wads of erectile tissue are positioned on either side of the vaginal opening. Shaped like an upside-down comma, they’re thin at the top where they connect to the shaft of the clitoris. At the bottom each bulb is, well, bulbous. When engorged they swell, like all erectile tissue does. At that point, they cause the labia to bulge out and in and create intensely pleasurable sensations when stimulated, including when anything is moving into and out of the vagina. They can be stimulated by broadly pressing the whole vulva and labia and by ‘rubbing through the skin’, that is, using moderate to deep pressure to stroke the structure under the skin. When stimulated, they puff up considerably. The bulbs are are one of the important keys to increased female pleasure!

The Urethral Sponge

Another component of the Female Erectile Network is the structure known as the urethral sponge (a/k/a the female prostate). Comprised of erectile and glandular tissue, it’s a cylinder of erectile tissue that surrounds the tube of the urethra— like a roll of paper towels surrounding the inner cardboard tube. It’s analogous to the male prostate.

The urethral sponge can be stimulated through the roof of the vagina and by pleasuring the area surrounding the urethral opening. But it is not a magic orgasm button. Most women will not enjoy having it stimulated until after they’ve reached mid-to high level arousal.

Here’s a little-known fact lots of people miss—the underside of the tubular sponge is what in common (and incorrect) parlance is known as the g-spot. I prefer not to use that term. It is not a spot—it’s the bottom of the tube of the urethral sponge. So while I can truthfully say that the ‘g-spot’ as an anatomical structure doesn’t exist, the erectile tissue known as the urethral sponge most assuredly does. Got it? There is no g-spot, but there is a urethral sponge—an engorgeable (and potentially pleasurable) erectile tissue tube that lies just above the roof of the vagina.

The Perineal Sponge

The perineal sponge rests under the vaginal floor, in the wall between the vaginal and anal canals. It can be accessed via either passageway (or both!) It is also composed of engorgeable erectile tissue.

erectile-network-circuits-v2_webConnected Circuits

Each of the network’s structures is composed of erotically responsive erectile tissue. With proper stimulation, each can become engorged. When the whole female erectile network is engorged, it creates two overlapping, interlocking connected circuits of sweetly swollen erectile structures. While women can become aroused and orgasmic with only some of the network activated, for maximum pleasure get the whole network engorged. When all of the separate structures are engaged, the erectile network becomes like a snug and stretchy cuff of delightfully responsive equipment. Getting one component stimulated and engorged is good. Getting the whole network puffed up and pleasured is way better!

More Pleasure, Please!

When the whole network is activated, women are more likely to reach orgasm by a variety of forms of stimulation. All orgasms are good. None are superior–there aren’t any ways of getting to orgasm that are better or worse. For most women, direct stimulation to the clitoral head is required to get there. Woman can, however learn to expand their paths to orgasm, expand their orgasms and widen their orgasmic spectrum.

11809737_363410023868627_797739392_nOne way that many women would like to get orgasmic is with intercourse or penetration. Despite our cultural misconceptions, this is not the easiest way to get off (or help your partner get to the big O)! Learning to have orgasms from penetration is a learnable skill. One key to making intercourse highly pleasurable and much more likely to be orgasmic (for the woman) is to make sure that the whole circuit of erectile tissue is fully engorged prior to penetration. Other keys include making sure that the woman is in deep, high-level arousal prior to penetration; using our additional inner ‘sexcraft tools’ (such as breathing, sound, movement, awareness and imagination, to name just a few) to increase stimulation; having one or more orgasms prior to intercourse; and, during intercourse, using more pelvis-connected movements such as rocking or grinding rather than a penis thrusting in-and-out motion. These type of movements will stimulate the whole erectile network better then the old in-and-out.

However you use your erectile equipment (or pleasure a female partner’s parts), take the time to play with the whole erectile network. A full-on ‘herection’ is a beautiful, elegant and very rewarding pleasure matrix.


Do you like the idea of getting empowering, entertaining, erotic education for adults ONLINE? If so, we invite you to check out our Intimate Arts Online live and recorded online classes and courses. Discover a convenient, private and enlightening way to have more pleasure and expand your erotic universe. You’ll be glad you did!

If you want to learn more about women’s astounding, engorgable and delightful erotic equipment, there are multiple ways to do so.

Get More Women’s Anatomy of Arousal!

Given how much interest there’s been in the topic historically, you’d expect people to know all there is to know about female sexuality and female genital anatomy. Well, they don’t. The vast majority of people know amazingly little about women’s sexual parts—and this is true for owners of the equipment as well as people who like to play there.


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Read the award-winning Women’s Anatomy of Arousal book.

WINNER, 2010 BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD! (From The American Assoc of Sex Educators, Counselors & Therapists) Find out why Dr. Christiane Northrup has called Women’s Anatomy of Arousal “the most comprehensive, user-friendly, practical and uplifting book on women’s sexuality I’ve ever read. It’s the gold standard!”

 

Take the Women’s Anatomy of Arousal online course.

Includes four recorded webinars, private ‘home room’ page with text and video resources, ‘home play’ assignments, and ‘forever’ access to the webinars.


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Wholistic Sexuality: Connection, Power & Passion

Wholistic Sexuality™

A Paradigm of Empowerment, Connection & Passion

 

Are You Craving Connection?

We all long for a sense of union and yearn for attachment. Everyone craves deep connection. Yet, so many people feel alone, and live shadowed by a sense of disconnection and isolation. Having sex is certainly one of the common practices that people use to feel, at least temporarily, united. Unfortunately, they often don’t have the kind of sex they dream of and wind up feeling even more disengaged then ever. I believe that part of the problem is the way that we think about sex, about connection and about our selves.

I offer you a new way to relate, a new model of sexuality—Wholistic Sexuality™. In essence, Wholistic Sexuality is about connection, beginning with your connection to your Self.

It’s All About You

That’s right. I’m saying that at heart (or perhaps lower) sex isn’t about what you do with other people behind a closed door. First and foremost, your sexuality is about your relationship with your Self.

And, let’s face it, you’re complicated. One way to understand your Self is to understand that you’re made up of interconnected, overlapping spheres, the domains of your mind, body, spirit and heart, which are linked and surrounded by an energy matrix. You are your past, both all that you remember and all that you’ve forgotten, as well as your present and the myriad futures you imagine. Your relationship with yourself is formed by genetics, upbringing, and experiences. It’s an amalgam of your beliefs, assumptions, and values. Your sexuality is composed of fantasy and reality, dancing with your deep desires, permeated by needs and challenges. Your sexuality is an inherent part of who you are, and all that makes you, uniquely you.

durer-nude-woman-with-the-zodiac-c-1502-1500It’s About Everything

Your sexuality is also about your connection to everyone and everything. It includes relationships with your intimate partners as well as your friends and family, influenced by media, history and culture. It’s part of all aspects of your life including your work and your play, your communities and spiritual traditions. Like a hologram, your sexuality is a microcosm that reflects and manifests everything from the personal to the planetary.

Lifelong Learning Journey

We’re on a lifelong journey of learning and discovery and that is especially true about our sexuality. Here’s a key fact to comprehend about sex: much of our sexuality is learned, including our erotic capacities and responses. Like learning to play an instrument and make beautiful music, we learn how to play our selves to make sexual magic.

Practice Makes Access!

Each of us comes fully equipped with all the everything we need to access ecstasy. You can think of your self as having tools, of mind, body, spirit, heart & energy. We all have the equipment but not everyone learns how to fully operate it and really make it sing. Just like learning to play the piano, our sexual skills need to be learned, and then practiced if we want to develop mastery. The more you practice, the easier it gets.

How You Learn

Learning is a process of skill-building. First you need to develop a foundation of basic skills. Once you become adept at the essentials, you can go on to cultivate more advanced abilities. The foundational skill set is your solo-skills, that is, the ability to competently play your own instrument. Once you have facility with your own sexual self skills, you can master partner skills and play delightful duets with others. Everyone can learn these skills and become sexually adept. Of course, there’s always more to learn on the journey to erotic mastery. Even virtuoso musicians always continually hone their craft.

Meaningful Models

In order to learn to be a sexual virtuoso you need to know what’s possible, then how to get there. Bad maps, which our culture provides in plenty, don’t get you where you want to go. It’s crucial to have accurate maps, usable guides and true templates for this journey. When you have functional and empowering models of what sex is and what it can be, then you can more easily follow those paths and reach your full sexual potential.

Language License286-7_kitagawa_utamaro

We need to free our words and discover, create or reclaim luscious, comfortable and hot language to talk about our sexuality, our bodies, and our desires. Only then we can really start to talk about sex, learn about it and consciously create our sexuality.

 

Genital Reality

Believe it or not, our current understanding of female and male genitalia is incomplete and inaccurate. How you play your instrument or anyone else’s if you don’t even know what’s really there and how it operates? We need to know the whole truth about our bodies. The lack of this fundamental information has myriad serious repercussions.

Erotic Owners Operating Manual

After you get the picture of the basic equipment, then you need to know how it works, and how you can make it work better. For example, once you understand the process of arousal, and learn to fully utilize your innate tools, you can dramatically enhance your sexual experiences. Once you understand the erectile equipment or how our nervous systems are hard-wired for pleasure we have much more ability to utilize our glorious bodies.

radha-krsna0Celebrate Sex

We need to reclaim sex from the shame-mongers. Sex is the inherently sacred power that creates life. When you recognize your potential, you are unleashed to explore the vast and potentially transcendent realms of orgasm and ecstasy. Your sexuality is a powerful, transformative gift that’s your personal manifestation of the universal life force. Sexual pleasure is your human birthright. Claim it! Free your sexuality and you’ll tap into your very own vital wellspring of joy. After all, it’s yours!