Ideas, Information and Inspiration

The Missing Female Pleasure Parts

The Search for Buried Pleasure

What’s wrong with our standard map of female genital anatomy? Unfortunately, what’s missing from the picture is most of the equipment responsible for pleasure, arousal and orgasm. The clitoris is just the tip of the volcano!

Women have a set of interconnected but separate erectile structures that I call the Female Erectile Network (“FEN”). It’s comprised of multiple parts that are functionally and structurally connected. They are the three parts of the clitoris, the paired vestibular bulbs, the urethral sponge and the perineal sponge.

While it’s beyond the scope of this article to go into detail about each of the female erectile structures, I do want to point out a few salient bits of information about the erectile network. Erectile tissue is penises are mostly made of. It’s what gives them the ability to go from small and soft to big and hard.

Here’s the key point: Pound for pound and inch for inch, women have just as much erectile tissue as men. It’s just arranged differently. The female genitals contain just as much of this expandable, engorgable, highly pleasurable tissue as male genitals do. Just as much!

Some of these pleasure parts are well known while others are almost unheard of (even by scientists, medical practitioners and sexologists).

female-erectile-network-labels-color-web_v2To start with the familiar, the FEN includes the super-sensitive ‘jewel in the crown’—the head of the clitoris. (That’s what most people are referring to when they say ‘clitoris.’) It’s a unique and remarkable structure and merits lots of attention. The clitoral head is the main and usually easiest orgasmic trigger for most women. It is not, however, the only path to female sexual pleasure. Just for starters, the clitoris itself also includes two other parts: the shaft (under the hood) and the three to four inch-long paired legs. And they are all composed of—that’s right—erectile tissue!

But that’s not all! In addition to the clitoral structures, the FEN includes the paired vestibular bulbs that bracket the vaginal opening, plus two additional structures—the urethral and perineal sponges.

The Vestibular Bulbs

These two substantial wads of erectile tissue are positioned on either side of the vaginal opening. Shaped like an upside-down comma, they’re thin at the top where they connect to the shaft of the clitoris. At the bottom each bulb is, well, bulbous. When engorged they swell, like all erectile tissue does. At that point, they cause the labia to bulge out and in and create intensely pleasurable sensations when stimulated, including when anything is moving into and out of the vagina. They can be stimulated by broadly pressing the whole vulva and labia and by ‘rubbing through the skin’, that is, using moderate to deep pressure to stroke the structure under the skin. When stimulated, they puff up considerably. The bulbs are are one of the important keys to increased female pleasure!

The Urethral Sponge

Another component of the Female Erectile Network is the structure known as the urethral sponge (a/k/a the female prostate). Comprised of erectile and glandular tissue, it’s a cylinder of erectile tissue that surrounds the tube of the urethra— like a roll of paper towels surrounding the inner cardboard tube. It’s analogous to the male prostate.

The urethral sponge can be stimulated through the roof of the vagina and by pleasuring the area surrounding the urethral opening. But it is not a magic orgasm button. Most women will not enjoy having it stimulated until after they’ve reached mid-to high level arousal.

Here’s a little-known fact lots of people miss—the underside of the tubular sponge is what in common (and incorrect) parlance is known as the g-spot. I prefer not to use that term. It is not a spot—it’s the bottom of the tube of the urethral sponge. So while I can truthfully say that the ‘g-spot’ as an anatomical structure doesn’t exist, the erectile tissue known as the urethral sponge most assuredly does. Got it? There is no g-spot, but there is a urethral sponge—an engorgeable (and potentially pleasurable) erectile tissue tube that lies just above the roof of the vagina.

The Perineal Sponge

The perineal sponge rests under the vaginal floor, in the wall between the vaginal and anal canals. It can be accessed via either passageway (or both!) It is also composed of engorgeable erectile tissue.

erectile-network-circuits-v2_webConnected Circuits

Each of the network’s structures is composed of erotically responsive erectile tissue. With proper stimulation, each can become engorged. When the whole female erectile network is engorged, it creates two overlapping, interlocking connected circuits of sweetly swollen erectile structures. While women can become aroused and orgasmic with only some of the network activated, for maximum pleasure get the whole network engorged. When all of the separate structures are engaged, the erectile network becomes like a snug and stretchy cuff of delightfully responsive equipment. Getting one component stimulated and engorged is good. Getting the whole network puffed up and pleasured is way better!

More Pleasure, Please!

When the whole network is activated, women are more likely to reach orgasm by a variety of forms of stimulation. All orgasms are good. None are superior–there aren’t any ways of getting to orgasm that are better or worse. For most women, direct stimulation to the clitoral head is required to get there. Woman can, however learn to expand their paths to orgasm, expand their orgasms and widen their orgasmic spectrum.

11809737_363410023868627_797739392_nOne way that many women would like to get orgasmic is with intercourse or penetration. Despite our cultural misconceptions, this is not the easiest way to get off (or help your partner get to the big O)! Learning to have orgasms from penetration is a learnable skill. One key to making intercourse highly pleasurable and much more likely to be orgasmic (for the woman) is to make sure that the whole circuit of erectile tissue is fully engorged prior to penetration. Other keys include making sure that the woman is in deep, high-level arousal prior to penetration; using our additional inner ‘sexcraft tools’ (such as breathing, sound, movement, awareness and imagination, to name just a few) to increase stimulation; having one or more orgasms prior to intercourse; and, during intercourse, using more pelvis-connected movements such as rocking or grinding rather than a penis thrusting in-and-out motion. These type of movements will stimulate the whole erectile network better then the old in-and-out.

However you use your erectile equipment (or pleasure a female partner’s parts), take the time to play with the whole erectile network. A full-on ‘herection’ is a beautiful, elegant and very rewarding pleasure matrix.


Do you like the idea of getting empowering, entertaining, erotic education for adults ONLINE? If so, we invite you to check out our Intimate Arts Online live and recorded online classes and courses. Discover a convenient, private and enlightening way to have more pleasure and expand your erotic universe. You’ll be glad you did!

If you want to learn more about women’s astounding, engorgable and delightful erotic equipment, there are multiple ways to do so.

Get More Women’s Anatomy of Arousal!

Given how much interest there’s been in the topic historically, you’d expect people to know all there is to know about female sexuality and female genital anatomy. Well, they don’t. The vast majority of people know amazingly little about women’s sexual parts—and this is true for owners of the equipment as well as people who like to play there.


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Read the award-winning Women’s Anatomy of Arousal book.

WINNER, 2010 BOOK OF THE YEAR AWARD! (From The American Assoc of Sex Educators, Counselors & Therapists) Find out why Dr. Christiane Northrup has called Women’s Anatomy of Arousal “the most comprehensive, user-friendly, practical and uplifting book on women’s sexuality I’ve ever read. It’s the gold standard!”

 

Take the Women’s Anatomy of Arousal online course.

Includes four recorded webinars, private ‘home room’ page with text and video resources, ‘home play’ assignments, and ‘forever’ access to the webinars.


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Welcome to Erotic U.

Welcome to Erotic U.

Frank Dicksee - The Mirror3-w-cell phoneMany people believe that sex is just something you do, no instruction required. What they don’t understand is that we’ve been learning about sex our whole lives. From how your genitals were handled during diaper changes to your first back-seat fumbles, from adolescent jokes to TV sitcoms, from textbooks to the plethora of porn—you’ve been learning about sex your whole life. You’ve absorbed innumerable lessons about your body, pleasure, relationships, power dynamics, what is and isn’t okay to talk about, suitable language, gender roles, what’s sexually appropriate, what’s hot and not, and much more. Your teachers have been your families of origin, schools (and playgrounds), places of worship, your peers and our ubiquitous entertainment and advertising culture. This is your real sex ed and it’s immensely powerful. You don’t choose to take this class; it just happens. Much of our sexuality education has been unconscious and, for the most part, unquestioned.

A lot of people believe that when it comes to your capacity for sexual pleasure, you have to play the cards you were dealt, good, bad or indifferent—there’s not much room for improvement. People typically believe that learning sexual skills is only about improving your ability to please your partners (like learning to give great oral sex). However, many of your own sexual abilities, including your sexual responses, turn-ons, pleasure pathways and desires, are learned—and therefore amenable to conscious learning. You can learn how to get turned on more easily and in more ways, how to deepen your arousal, and how to become orgasmic (or more orgasmic, or crazy-orgasmic). More broadly, you can learn to become an expert at optimizing your own pleasure.


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This is a slightly modified excerpt from Sheri’s award-winning Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure.

Want more info on Wholistic Sexuality? Check out my recently released Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play & Practice.

 

Want to attend out virtual erotic education online?

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Are you ready to have Sheri personally help you learn to play your own instrument with skill and passion?

You can do it in the comfort and privacy of your own home with Intimate Arts Online Education!

Join us for a 4-week deep dive into Succulent SexCraft: Supercharge Your OWN Pleasure for a lifetime of MORE!

Amplified arousal, easy orgasms, expanded orgasms and access to your own ecstasy awaits you!


Sacred Sex Starts with Sacred Intention

Sacred Sex Starts with Sacred Intention

Bliss Dance by Tony Webster

Bliss Dance by Tony Webster

The Sacredness of Sex

All primal cultures recognized the sacredness of sex. After all, sex makes life, so how could it be anything other than sacred? In cultures that especially revered sexuality, Eros was considered a path to connect to the gods and goddesses, to the Divine. Sex was considered a prayer and an invitation to fertility for all life and all beings. Any babies that resulted from sex were an added blessing.

Many of these cultures used similar practices and techniques to draw on the power of Eros in service to the sacred. My approach to sacred sex is drawn from the many paths that cultures throughout time have followed to honor the spiritual in matters of the body and the bedroom.

‘Sacred’ means different things to different people. For our purposes, we can start with the idea that sacredness is what makes things feel special, cherished and unique. For me, it’s more than that, though. The ‘sacred’ is closely related to the notion of ‘spirit,’ which I see as something real and also to be celebrated.

When I refer to spirit, I’m not talking about religion or even spirituality. Perhaps because of my decades as a practicing midwife, I think of spirit as life’s incorporeal aspect, as the part of you that entered your body-mind when you took your first breath. It’s the magic spark that animates you beyond the mechanistic physical plane. But it’s not just in you—it’s in everything. When I write about connecting to spirit, I mean connecting to the sanctity of life, the holiness of all beings, and the sacred fire within you. It’s the Divine not as a separate, superior being, but as the mysterious force that’s manifest in everything. When your sex is integrated with your spirit, it can lead to not just transcendent mind-blowing sex, but a personal and ecstatic experience of the Divine.

Spirit is what the Native American Lakota people call Wakan Tanka, the ‘Great Mysterious Power’ or the ‘sacredness that resides in everything.’ It’s the ineffable energy that, among other things, connects the carnal erotic to the mystery beyond matter.

We have been endowed with tools that enable us to ride sex’s magic carpet into the sacred realm. Some of these are optional—sacred sound, for instance. One, however is not. This is sacred intention.

More Bliss in BedSacred Intention

Holding the intention to make something sacred is your most basic spiritual tool. You can use your other spiritual tools to make your intention more concrete (which often helps), but your most essential skill is the intention to have your sexual practice be sacred.

There’s something magical in this. If you hold the intention for something to be spiritual or sacred, that’s what it becomes. It’s a simple yet profound practice. You can use sacred intention whenever you have sex, be it solo or partnered, a quick snack or a prolonged feast. Define a sacred purpose for your pleasure, create a consecrated container, touch on your sacred intention during your erotic activities, appreciate and affirm the holiness of your erotic actions—any of these choices can be transformative. If you wish, you can dedicate your erotic energy and your orgasms to a spiritual purpose such as enlightenment, blessing or healing.

You can practice sacred intention whenever you wish. Depending on the circumstances, it may not take you to the experience of the sacred. On the other hand, it may. One thing is certain—you won’t experience sacred sex if you don’t hold a sacred intention.

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You Say You Want an Evolution: Wholistic Sexuality

Erte 1You Say You Want an Evolution

What Is 21st century sex?

What could it be?

What is Sex?

I’ve been a Wholistic Sexuality Teacher, midwife, nurse and gynecology practitioner and an enthusiastic sexually active woman for many decades and I still don’t have a simple answer to that question. I can tell you what it’s not. Sex isn’t just some brief lusty activity involving your reproductive organs, hidden behind a closed bedroom door. It’s so much more then that.

A Fantastic Fulfilling, Frustrating Force

Sexuality is a force that is colossally complicated and mesmerizingly compelling. It’s an unavoidable part of being human, yet shrouded in mystery. Sexuality is an interplay of desire and denial, fantasy and reality. It’s a complex physical and biological template tangled with an equally elaborate cultural overlay. Sex is powerful and promising, chaotic and conflicted, ecstatic and blissful, frustrating and disappointing. For some it is demonic, for others, divine. Sex is emotional, energetic, and often overwhelming. Its power is personally pervasive and culturally ubiquitous, with messages both hidden and overt. Potentially, our sexuality can be deeply connecting; of us to ourselves, to others and to the great mystery of life. Unfortunately, that potential is never achieved for many people.

Should You Be Ashamed of Yourself?

Currently, sex in our world is based on negative models grounded in ancient history, perpetuated by modern media and the convoluted chaos of contemporary culture. For many, sex is a source of unhappiness, frustration and a deep unsatisfied longing. We live in a unique time and place where sex is overtly in-your-face and covertly in your pants, all the while harboring undercurrents of shame, guilt, fear, denial, lust and self-loathing for our bodies, our desires and our pleasures.

Succulent Sacred Sublime Sex

SUKUH Temple, Karang Pandan, Central Java, Indonesia2I believe that we need a new model of sexuality that incorporates a bigger picture of what sex is, of who we are and what we can be as sexual beings. I see a desperate need for a model where sex is honored, celebrated and sacred. So I made one up.

A Sexual Evolution—Wholistic Sexuality

We had a sexual revolution, with its bumpy gains, imperfect progress and some serious backlash. Now it’s time for a sexual evolution that I call Wholistic Sexuality. In essence, my Wholistic Sexuality model is about connection.

This philosophy brings sex back into connection with all aspects of our selves and our lives in a way that honors the power of sexuality. Sexual expression, pleasure, intimacy, fun and joy are necessary to be integrated and whole. In order to be a fully vital human being, we need our sexuality to be intact, functioning and healthy.

Love Yourself As You Love Your Neighbor (or Lover)

This does not imply that in order to be healthy we must be in sexual relationships with others, but rather, we must create and maintain a good sexual connection with ourselves. In other words, Wholistic Sexuality is, first and foremost, about your relationship with your Self. This includes your relationship with your body, your history and experiences, the beliefs that you were exposed to as you grew up, your current and past relationships, your community, the media, your culture, and all other aspects of your world. All of these components and more create your internal sexual relationship. Indeed, your sexuality is a hologram of your inseparable mind, body, heart and spirit. Your sexuality is ultimately, about everything.

A Sexy Healthy Whole

It seems everyone these days is striving to be healthy. Exercise, meditation and healthy eating are now mainstream ideas, supported by countless cultural messages. But sex hasn’t yet emerged from the shadow of repression and shame to become part of what is considered a healthy lifestyle. Only when you connect your sexuality to the rest of your life, will you become integrated and truly healthy.

Conscious Connection

I believe that a sexual evolution is beginning and will continue to occur. It’s a part of the evolution of personal and global consciousness that is occurring planetwide. And since I believe that evolution begins at home, I encourage you to explore and enhance your connection to your own delicious sexuality. After all, without sex, life itself would be impossible. And a whole lot less fun!

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This is the Prime Directive of Sex

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The following is an excerpt from Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play and Practice.

THE PRIME DIRECTIVE: SEX IS ABOUT CONNECTION

1. Your sexuality is first and foremost about your connection to your self. Your whole self.
2. Your sexuality is also about your connection to others. Naturally that includes the people you have sex with—partner sex is fundamentally about connection. And it’s also about your connection to everyone and everything, including all life on this planet.
3. Sex is both natural and learned. While an important part of our sexuality is based on our inborn animal templates, an astounding amount of human sexuality is learned.
4. To fulfill your sexual potential, it helps to have structure, support and guidance — and, more specifically, accurate and effective maps and models. Anything short of that is like trying to find a special spot in the woods without a map (or with one that’s just plain wrong).


Connections your sexuality is connected to everyone and everything. Here are aspects of the web of life that surrounds and supports you, and that co-created you:

YOU

• Hardware: nature, evolution, genetics
• Software: learning, environment, culture
• mind, body, heart and spirit
• energy and matter

EVERYTHING ELSE

Families

• your family of origin (the place where nature and nurture overlap and sometimes collide)
• your families of choice (the people you choose to create family with)
• your families of creation (your kids, if you have them)

Partners

• including any people with whom you are or have been intimate, sexual, and/or romantic
• current partners
• past partners
• fantasy partners
• potential partners

Communities

• friends, acquaintances, and all other communities and connections
• where you live
• political institutions, spiritual, religious and other institutions
• other institutions
• the media
• your work
• all living beings
• the world
• the ALL… The mysteries (leaving room for all of the energies and influences that we don’t know or understand)

What is Sex?

Have you ever stopped to wonder, “Just what exactly is sex anyway?” Here’s our definition — see if it doesn’t expand yours.
(Excerpted from our new book Succulent SexCraft.)

What Is Sex?

Sex is any erotic activity: it’s something you do. Sexuality encompasses the whole of who we are. It incorporates our thoughts, emotions, stories, beliefs, values, relationships, boundaries, choices, behaviors, knowledge and experiences.

Sex makes life. It made you—the one and only complex entity you are.

Sex is the vital life force, the energy that infuses all living creatures. It connects all life (including you).

Sex is the pervasive power of creation, the force that fuels sexual reproduction. It drives evolution’s mix of competition and cooperation. It generates diversity, beauty and complexity.

Sex permeates everything. our political systems, spiritual traditions, institutions, mythologies and cultures are shaped by it in myriad ways, both positive and negative. Eros fuels fertility, creativity, connection and love.

What Is Sex For You?

For starters, ponder these questions, remembering that there are no right answers. If you choose, record your responses in your journal.

• How do you define sex?
• What did you think sex was when you were a child?
• What would you like your sex life to be like?
• What do you like about your current sex life? What do you dislike about it?
• What are some positive feelings you have about your sexuality?
• What are some negative feelings?
• What do you believe would make your sex life more fulfilling?
• What would you like to learn?


We encourage our readers to answer these questions
beforSucculent SexCraft Book Imagee and then again after reading the book, to clearly show the progress they’ve made. Of course, you can’t do that if you don’t have the book, but that is an easy problem to fix!

5 Stars! “Engage your curiosity and transform your erotic play” By Kate Chopin

An Overview of the Integral Model of Wholistic Sexuality™

I spend a lot of time thinking and writing about sex, particularly from my integral holistic perspective. I’m always trying to make my paradigm more clear, understandable and elegant. Here’s my latest version of what Wholistic Sexuality is. If you want to read the longer version, it’s is in the library.

Arthur Rackham Illustration from The RingWholistic Sexuality is about connection. First and foremost, your sexuality is about your connection with your Self — that’s your primary relationship.

Your Self includes all of you: body, mind, heart and spirit, past, present and future, genetics and environment — everything that makes you uniquely and completely you.

Your sexuality is about who you are, not who you do (or don’t) have sex with.Whatever you do or don’t do — you are a sexual being. Your sexuality is an inherent, inseparable and vital aspect of you.

Wholistic Sexuality is about seeing the connection of all life. Your sexuality connects you to everyone and everything. Your fundamental relationship to your self forms the foundation of all your other relationships. Like a hologram, your sexuality is a microcosm that reflects and manifests everything from the personal to the planetary.

Sex is one of the most powerful forces on the planet — it makes life! When you understand and respect that power you can channel it appropriately and responsibly, allowing you to connect with your ecstatic energy and its transformative potential.

Wholistic Sexuality sees sex as something you learn, including your erotic capacities, abilities and responses. Like learning to play an instrument to make beautiful music, you can learn how to play your ‘instrument’ to become an erotic virtuoso.

Bliss is your birthright. You were born with the natural capacity for extraordinary pleasure, abundant joy, and deep connection. Wholistic Sexuality is the map, the lessons and the guide to discovering, expanding and claiming your full sexual power.

Wholistic Sexuality offers a vision of sex where it is normal, natural and inherently good, where we honor the miracle of life and revere the energy of Eros. When we respect the power of sex and learn to navigate its awesome energy everyone can connect with the sacred gift of ecstasy.

Do Women Really Have a G-Spot?

Yes, women do have a wonderful internal place that responds to the right kind of stimulation, at the right time — I just don’t call it a g-spot. Find out what it is.

Also, check out this blog post: G-Spot Reality Check.

Solo Sex!

Solo Sex – it’s sex with someone you love! Find out why I don’t call it masturbation and why it’s so good and important to do.

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A Glimpse Into Vaginal Ecology

Images of Vulvas in NatureA Glimpse Into Vaginal Ecology

Here’s a super short introduction to the basic idea of vaginal ecology.

For the much more in-depth version, start here with Vaginal Ecology: An Owner’s Guide to Care & Maintenance (Pt 1) and then go here for part two, Vaginal Ecology: An Owner’s Guide to Care & Maintenance.

An Elegant Ecology

The vagina isn’t just a nice place to own or visit, nor is it merely a passive space awaiting fulfillment; it’s a complex, integrated environment. Your vagina is a dynamic system with inherent safeguards in place to maintain a healthy equilibrium despite being susceptible to myriad influences that can alter its state of balance.

You Have a Self-Cleaning Vagina

Basically, by understanding the system, you can learn to keep yourself healthy, and prevent most vaginal infections and problems. Your vagina is a self-regulating, self-cleaning, resilient yet delicate ecosystem and the less you disrupt the natural balance, the better off you’ll be. This is what every woman needs to know!


Want more info on vaginas and related parts? I got more!

Arousal_frontcover-w-Book of theYear Award

Check out my award-winning book, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal.

WAA-LOLC_Wegener-Self-Exam_V7-HeaderYou can also explore the online course by the same name, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal Online Course to learn about all things vagina!