Lost Sexy Bits

Genital Anatomy - Think you really know?

Lost Sexy Bits

It doesn’t seem possible, yet in this 21st century age of information, we lack the basic truth about our sexual anatomy. It’s sad but true, the pictures in the sex books and the text books are missing some of our vital equipment. We’ll never be able to see the whole picture, if we keep trying to put the puzzle together when important pieces are missing. When we don’t have this information, we can’t understand the reality of our bodies, much less figure out how to pleasure ourselves or others fully. If you don’t know what you’ve got, how can you really play with it?

What’s Missing From This Picture?

Cousin - Livre de pourtraiture-1608-cropped 2.Imagine playing the piano but only being able to see half the keys. Even though the invisible keys are still there, you wouldn’t know that you could or should play with them. Or imagine that a quarter of the keys have been permanently removed. You’d still make perfectly good music but it would lack the range, complexity and depth that having access to all the keys could give you.

That’s the situation we have now in our culture with our current models of male and female genitalia. The pictures in the books only show us a part of what’s actually there. Much of the equipment that’s responsible for arousal and orgasm in women* is missing from our standard depictions thus absent in our brains as well. Women have just as much erogenous equipment as men do although it’s arranged quite differently. Women have a network of structures for arousal that is utterly analogous to the male apparatus. But since a number of these structures are missing in our images and our minds, much of that equipment isn’t being played with.

Our model of male equipment is based on a cultural norm that removes extremely important functional sexual tissue. The cultural myth is that the foreskin is extraneous, and is better off removed. As if Mother Nature had some extra time on her hands, so she knitted a useless frilly doily and tossed it on the end of the penis. Now, being so modern and tidy, we just remove that quaint little dust catcher, improving on evolution’s design. The reality is, the foreskin is far from insignificant, it’s a well-designed part of the male equipment with important and irreplaceable functions.

Our mental maps of our sexual equipment are incomplete. This missing information hinders our sexuality, our relationships, our health and our understanding and enjoyment of our very selves in myriad ways. It’s a virtual amputation with very real effects.

Mental Mismatch Mess-Up

What happens when our models of what ‘should be’ don’t match what actually is? Many people assume there’s something wrong with them, instead of recognizing that the pictures and scripts are flawed. Many feel broken, inadequate, and believe they got ripped off when Mother Nature was giving out the good stuff.

Inaccurate models are like mental chains that limit your movement, cramp your style and prevent you from discovering your truly awesome capacity for pleasure. Accurate models help people expand their capacity for sexual expression and their repertoire of sexual skills. When your experience fits your mental picture, you feel whole, functional, and connected. You’re free to explore the full range of your sexual potential. Most importantly, it helps you know you’re normal.

The Missing “Female Erectile Network”

As I point out in my book, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure, women have what I call the Female Erectile Network: a set of interconnected but separate structures all made up of erectile tissue, that amazing, arousable, expandable and especially sexy erotic equipment.

Pound for pound and inch for inch, women have just as much erectile tissue as men—it’s just arranged differently. Some of these pleasure parts are well known while others are almost unheard of (even by scientists, medical practitioners and sexologists).

While it’s beyond the scope of this article to go into detail about each of the structures of  the erectile network, these are the components: the three parts of the clitoris; the paired vestibular bulbs; the urethral sponge; and the perineal sponge. They are connected both functionally and structurally. For more details check out this post: The Missing Female Pleasure Parts.

Female Genital Anatomy Quiz

Female Genital Anatomy – You Think You Know?

Each of the network’s structures is composed of erotically responsive erectile tissue, and with proper stimulation, each can become engorged. While women can become aroused and orgasmic with only some of the network activated, for maximum pleasure, get the whole network engorged. When all of the separate structures are engorged, the erectile network becomes like a snug and stretchy cuff of delightfully responsive equipment. Getting one component stimulated and engorged is good. Getting the whole network puffed up and pleasured is way better!

What Else Is Missing?

It’s not just that our representations of genitalia are inaccurate. Our understanding of arousal is also limited as it doesn’t take into account personal, cultural and gender differences and is based on a goal-directed, male-oriented pattern of arousal and sexual expression. Even the language we have to talk about sex and bodies and all of the delicious things we can do with them is limited and filled with shame. All of these skewed visions have very real and damaging effects, just as accurate models offer vistas of expanded possibilities and untapped potential.

How Do I Get There From Here?

We need accurate models that reflect the actual bodies and experiences of people of all genders. It’s challenging to find the few resources available to fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle. You need and deserve accurate depictions of your sex parts, new visions of what’s possible, and a good map to show you how to get there.vintage-erotica-art-cocks-cunts-550x820

What Does Whole Look Like?

It starts in your mind. Begin by taking a deep breath, right now and imagining who you would be if you were sexually whole. Visualize yourself able to enjoy all of the sexual experiences you’ve ever imagined and more. You can become that person when you open your mind to your potential and begin to learn how to fully play the beautiful instrument of your sexual self. It begins with having a comprehensive and accurate understanding of your instrument.

Your Home Play Assignment

Got that mind set? Good. That’s a great basis for step two: exploring your body. That’s right — now it’s time for you to do some home work (er, I mean home play) and, if you own this equipment, go check it out directly. If you are not a vagina-owner, you’ll need to find a vagina-equipped lab partner for your home play assignment. Here’s the nutshell version of your mission. (For more detailed home play instructions, you may want to read the book or take the recorded online course.) Take a look and a feel of all the parts when not aroused, then get turned on and check them all out again.

There you go … you’re on the road to becoming your own expert and finding all of the neglected pleasure equipment! That’s how you can learn about all the parts that are really there, discover how to engorge them and how to really fully play your incredible instrument.


To Learn More

WAA-LOLC_Wegener-Self-Exam_V7-HeaderThese lavishly illustrated Online Courses focus on Female Genital Anatomy and Erotic Pleasure:

Want more info on vaginas and related parts? We got more!

This is the BEST BOOK EVER! I am an owner of a “sexy boutique” – Va Va Vooom, in Asheville NC, designed especially for the pleasures of women. This book is always placed prominently in my store as a “must read”.  – Lisa Zeimer

Arousal_frontcover-w-Book of theYear Award
Sheri’s award-winning book, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal – Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure contains unique and extensive anatomy illustrations (drawn by Sheri!) that show, in great detail all of the parts women have, how they’re connected and how to make them happy! In fact, it won the 2010 Book of the Year award from AASECT (the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists) due to this ground-breaking understanding of female sexuality and anatomy.

Check it out! Or just go ahead and grab a copy!


* Just to be clear about the terminology, let me elucidate. When we use the terms “women” and “female” and are referencing anatomy, we are referring to cis-women. (Cis is a term meaning that your gender identity matches the sex assigned at birth.) The term “vagina” and other anatomical terms refer to the genitalia of people who are born with a vagina and an erectile network. Usually these will be cis-women. There are also trans-men who have vaginas and this anatomy would be accurate for them. This anatomy does not include the variations of surgically-produced genitals that may be the equipment that trans-women have.





A Breastmilk Theory of Love


The Milky Way by Rubens

A Breastmilk Theory of Love: Relationships, Love and Mothering

Does our infant feeding experience affect how we relate to relationships? Is there a template for love laid down in early life that creates unconscious patterns that lead to either healthy or dysfunctional connections? Hear what a Wholistic Sexuality educator, former nurse-midwife and intimate arts counselor thinks about the deep connections between the breast and the heart.

If we’d had our needs met, completely and efficiently, with love, security and nourishment all coming together from the abundant breast of a loving mama—would it be easier as adults to form secure and trusting love relationships? To not be possessive and jealous? To trust in the abundance of love and that our beloved(s) will be there when we need them? To be able to receive pleasure? I believe it would.

Auguste Renoir, Maternite dit aussi l'Enfant au seinThe Bountiful Breast

Ah, breastmilk, Mother Nature’s most perfect food, the true nectar of the Goddess. Evolution has developed an exquisite arrangement for nurturing young mammals, perfected through millennia. It is an elegantly simple system, based on supply and demand. A human breast is essentially a milk factory. When a baby sucks on the areola of the breast, it stimulates receptors which tell the breast (via the brain) to respond by producing milk. As the infant grows and its caloric needs increase, the baby gets hungrier and sucks more, producing more milk. Despite myths to the contrary, the breast is never empty. There is an endless supply of milk, always as much as a child needs. As long as the system is not interrupted, and the mother is adequately hydrated and nourished, there will always be an abundance of glorious milk.

Magic Milk

Mammalian milk has evolved to meet the highly specific needs of each particular species. Human milk contains the exact nutrients in the perfect balance to grow the complex brains and bodies of our infants. It contains living immune factors to protect the health of the child. It teaches both our immune system and our metabolism how to function properly for the rest of our lifetimes by mechanisms that are still poorly understood. Children who are breastfed for a year (or ideally two or more) suffer from less of every known disease, not just as infants but throughout their entire lifetime.

Durer - Life of the Virgin -small cropRelationship 101

Sweet and plentiful breastmilk is the perfect food, always ready, warm and delicious. And it comes in an attractive and time-tested package, that of the woman’s breast, firmly attached to the warm, soft, breathing, pulsating body of the mother. This perfect food is delivered from within the context of the first love relationship that the baby knows. This is how evolution set up the system. When the baby human feels one of its basic needs, that of hunger, the need is met, not with an external object, but by their own personal Beloved. Fed from her warm yielding body, cradled in her strong arms, enveloped in her scent, her loving touch, steadied by her heartbeat and breathing, gazed at by bliss-filled eyes. Ideally, the human need for food is answered in the context of a relationship, by a person, with love.

Sad Stand-in

For those who truly cannot breastfeed, it’s good that we have a substitute that’s at least adequate to prevent significant infant mortality. And, of course, a bottle can be given while the baby is held lovingly in arms. But nothing from a factory can come close to replicating a system that evolution has perfected.

Unfortunately, many modern industrial culture women believe that they can’t nurse, don’t have enough milk and that their body has failed. The truth is that it is our system that has failed them. In nature, it would be extremely rare for a woman (or any other mammal) to not be able to adequately nourish her child unless she’s starving. In our bottle-feeding culture many women have unsuccessful nursing experiences because the natural process, which certainly begins before and during labor as well as after, has been repeatedly disrupted in multiple ways. The result is that the elegant system is too disturbed to function properly and nursing doesn’t work despite many women’s heroic efforts to fix it. This is more then a shame, this is a tragic epidemic as the dysfunction of this system has so many sad consequences.

The Barren Bottle

Compare the perfect sweetness and ideal nourishment of breastmilk to the synthetic formula given to most of us as children and to many babies even now. Artificial infant formula tastes nasty, like wallpaper paste. It’s often given in a transparent bottle, clearly in a finite amount. When the bottle is empty, that’s it. It’s all gone. There is no more. The need for food is met, not in the context of a warm and loving relationship, from a soft and sensuous mother’s body, but with a ‘thing’, a hard and separate object. This is so removed from the context of relationship that it need not even be given while the child is held. A bottle can be propped up or self-held by an older baby.

Terrible Templafinger-1404202_1920te

This forms the template for love and attachment that many of us struggle with for the rest of our lives. Is it any wonder that so many people in our culture, as adults, look to consumer goods, to external objects, to satisfy their oh-so-human needs? But more stuff is never enough to really fill those needs. So we go out and buy more stuff, newer stuff, bigger stuff, better, faster, sexier stuff. More, more, more. But it’s really no good. No matter how much we accumulate, objects will never satisfy our needs for love, security and acceptance. Only relationships can do that.

Sick Substitute

Moreover, artificial infant feeding formulas are unhealthy and barely adequate substitutes that can’t come close to Mama Nature’s perfect food. Indeed, they cause innumerable infant health problems, including gastrointestinal distress, allergies, irritability and malaise. Food, nourishment and the associated feeling of love can become deeply connected with feelings of sickness and pain.

Life Lessons

In our first few years we learn some of our most basic life lessons. Is the world a good or bad place? Am I loved? Can I trust that my needs will be met? Is my body a good place to be in?

Sunga period, 1st century BCEShould we be surprised that so many people have mixed up feelings of love and desire with pain and dysfunction? After all, for most of us our first model of relationship taught us that food and comfort come from an object that is separate from another body. That satisfying our hunger is likely to make us feel uncomfortable and even ill. We learned that nourishment is finite in amount and unpleasant tasting to boot. It’s no wonder that we feel that love is a limited commodity with only so much to go around. It’s not surprising that we can’t get comfortable and form trusting relationships with others. Is that why it’s so hard for some people to receive pleasure? Scarcity consciousness and bottle-fed limits are deeply ingrained templates. Bottle-contained artificial infant formula, unsatisfying, toxic, and unpalatable has confused us about the nature of love.

If we’d had our needs met, completely and efficiently, with love, security and nourishment all coming together from the abundant breast of a loving mama—would it be easier as adults to form secure and trusting love relationships? To not be possessive and jealous? To trust in the abundance of love and that our beloved(s) will be there when we need them? To be able to receive pleasure? I believe this is true.

Reframing Scarcity and Embracing Abundance

For myself, I’m trying to re-frame my beliefs about love and attachment, about scarcity and abundance, from a breastmilk perspective. It’s remedial education, to be sure. It’s a process that requires practice and repetition to succeed at changing (or at least influencing) such old core beliefs. I’m rethinking love, in the breast-milk model. I’m granting myself my ditaly-695032_1280enied birthright, reminding myself, over and over, and over again that there is an abundance of love, there’s always as much as you need and plenty to go around. And that if you need more, just suck and more will come. The breast is never empty, just like the heart. There is always enough. And my hunger can only truly be satisfied by human relationships, never by things. True milk, like true love is plentiful and nourishing, never finite or toxic. And it tastes really, really good.

No wonder the breasts are right over the heart. It is where love comes from. Endlessly, without limits, because the breast is never empty and the heart can always give more love. Read more

How Can I Get Over My Body Hang-ups?

Sheri addresses a common question: How Can I Get Over My Body Hang-ups? during the Sacred Sex Webinar.

An Orgasm A Day…

An Orgasm A Day…

Better Health Through Orgasm!

An orgasm a day may not entirely keep the doctor away but it sure will help. Orgasms are decidedly good for you. When you climax, a host of feel-good chemicals are released that bring about a sense of euphoria, reduce stress, enhance relaxation and lead to an increased feeling of well-being. These are the same substances linked to the many benefits of meditation, massage and exercise.

Orgasmic Meditation

Orgasms can start your day with a bang or provide a satisfying end of the day with an easy drift into blissful sleep. Orgasms are antidepressant and come with no unpleasant side-effects (although they may be addictive). The orgasmic turn-on literally turns off the parts of the brain responsible for processing fear and anxiety. The neuro-chemical soup of coming simmers away stress, leaving calm behind. This chicken soup of sex improves immunity and promotes healing.

You can do it alone or do it with friends (real or imagined). Orgasms can be a solitary satisfaction or enhance a special connection with a certain someone. For those so inclined they can even be the highlight of a social occasion. No matter your mating situation, the pleasurable peak is always available

Bliss Benefits

However you have them, orgasms are greatly beneficial. The heavy breathing part counts as aerobic exercise, so get cranking! The muscle tension of arousal and the electrifying contractions of coming exercise your pelvis in a delightful way. Toning your pelvic muscles improves bladder and bowel function, which is surely a path to happiness. Getting turned on tunes up circulation. Sexual stimulation both soothes and energizes nerves. Excitement extinguishes anxiety and enhances mental functioning.

Prescription pad_orgasmEvery Day Orgasm

Best of all the acme of ecstasy bathes you in an endorphin-high of your very own natural opiates. And the more often you work that system, the better it functions. That’s why I believe that medical practitioners ought to prescribe regular daily orgasms. My professional recommendation is a minimum of 1 orgasm a day or 3 -4 pinnacles of pleasure per week. Naturally, you can have as many as you want since there’s no known maximum. The benefits increase as your dose does, so more is definitely better in this case. I suppose there might be a possibility of over-coming, but OD’ing on orgasm would not be a bad way to go.

Expand Your Experience

Not only are regular orgasm good for what ails you, but super strength orgasms are surely even healthier. Expanded and extended orgasms do an even better job of replicating the benefits of meditation and medication. Trust me, if you come 20 or 30 times, you probably won’t need your Prozac. If you have an orgasm lasting half an hour, your Zoloft will gather dust. You can walk around with a big ole satisfied grin on your face all day long when you rejuvenate with the original mood-altering substance of sex. Stop making excuses. It’s free, it doesn’t take long and the benefits are substantial. So, if you haven’t had your daily dose of ecstasy (the original non-pill kind), go on, pull down your pants, get out the lube and get to work! After all, it’s good for you!

Read more

How Can I Help Bring My Partner Back Into the Moment?

Sheri answers the question “How Can I Help Bring My Partner Back Into the Moment?” during the Ask Anything about Sacred Sex webinar.

Boucher - education of cupid-w-laptopCheck out Intimate Arts Online, our recorded virtual courses to learn at home and at your convenience!

Courses include 3- 4 classes, extra resources, & delicious home play assignments!

Find out more about Intimate Arts Online here and discover just how much pleasure, satisfaction and joy you can have!


Pleasurable Safer Sex: Sexual Interaction Guidelines

The Cautious Lover by Nicolas Tassaert, c. 1860

Pleasurable Safer Sex:

Sexual (& Sensual) Interaction Guidelines

Sheri, The Queen of Safer Sex and Good Condom Fairy Says, “JUST BECAUSE IT’S SEXY, DOESN’T MAKE IT SAFE!”

Talking about sex with a potential partner usually isn’t easy. Most of us have never seen good communication about sex modeled in our lives. We don’t see it on our screens, whether we’re watching sitcoms, mainstream movies or porn.

Why is it So Hard? (And Not in a Good Way)

We may think of sex as a scarce commodity that we need to  grab quickly before the opportunity evaporates. Or, perhaps we think that discussing a possible sexual encounter will ruin the moment, dissipating the  magic and deflating the erotic energy. Sometimes we’re conflicted and confused as our lusty desires war with internalized sexual shame. Often we’re uncomfortable with the limited vocabulary of sex and just plain inexperienced with talking about what we want or don’t want. Maybe we just don’t know what we want!

And finally, the ultimate challenge: arousal makes our thinking brains go off-line, leading to the classic inability to have enough blood flow for our heads and our genitals. I like to say that sex makes us stupid. There’s nothing personal here, it’s just how we’re wired.

The thing is, great communication about sex is what makes for really great, pleasurable, mutually satisfying and hot sex!

So, here’s a short guide to helping you navigate the tumultuous waters of erotic communication without capsizing or running aground so your sexual sailing is smooth and pleasurable.

Start with Yourself

Check in with yourself before engaging in sensual and sexual activities with someone else. Be honest and take as much time as you need to be clear about what you want to do or not do.  You need to start by checking in with yourself. This is not a one-time decision. This is an ongoing practice! Keep checking in as you go.

The Pre-Pre-Sex Talk: Communicate Clearly and Honestly

So easy to say but here it is: Communicate with your potential partners. Be honest, clear and overt. Use your ‘courage muscles’, take a deep breath and just do it.

Honor Boundaries

Make agreements about the boundaries for your erotic interactions and then honor them.
Honor prior agreements with others. Tell the complete truth about your agreements.
Discuss expectations, intentions and commitments before engaging in behaviors.
Be responsible and respectful to yourself and to others. Play nice.
Don’t assume permission, ASK! This, too, is an ongoing practice!

The Pre-Sex Talk

If you’re all in agreement about wanting to play erotically, have a Pre-Sex Talk.
If you can’t talk about it, don’t do it. Remember, sex makes you stupid, so be smart and have this conversation before you’re highly aroused.
Already aroused? Take a break, calm down until your brain goes back on-line and then talk.

Want to reduce health risks?

Consider staying in the shallow end of the pool–that is, playing in the safer realm of sensual activities. There’s a lot of fun to be had without contact of your genitals and the surrounding skin, or sharing sexual fluids and the accompanying risks of disease. You can still have a great and erotic time. It’s better to be careful then sorry!

The Pre-Sex Talk

This conversation includes:

  • Who are you currently being sexual and/or intimate with? Discuss current partner status and agreements.
  • History of sexually transmitted diseases
  • Testing history including HIV, as well as other sexually transmitted infections.
  • What intimate sensual or sexual activities will you engage in together, now?What kinds of pleasure do you enjoy giving and receiving?
  • What are your boundaries? At what points do you want to check in again?
  • What safer sex or risk reduction practices will you use?
  • Contraception, if applicable.
  • Anything else that needs to be talked about?

Sheri, The Sovereign of Safer Sex Says, YOU CAN STAY SAFE AND HAVE FUN!!!!”


The Love Song of Shakti and Shiva

The Love Song of Shakti and Shiva

From Sheri’s award-winning book: Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure.

In the beginning was the One. The One was all and everything, and for eons it reveled in being One, millennia of magnificent unitary bliss. Over the course of unimaginable time, however, the One grew bored. (Even the Divine gets bored with itself eventually.)

So the One split into two. One part was Shakti — she of energy, flow, and movement. The other was Shiva — he of consciousness, presence, and purpose.

Shakti Shiva ExplosionAs soon as the one became two, they gazed upon each other, fell madly in love, and wanted nothing more than to re-unite. They clasped each other passionately and explored all the ways two could merge into one. They entered each other and dissolved the boundaries between them. For millennia they made love, exquisite erotic love. At long last they again achieved oneness as they exploded in mutual simultaneous orgasm. In that moment, the entire universe was born. All life sprang into being and is springing still. It was the original big bang!

Cosmic Connection

The story of Shakti and Shiva is an origin story about the universe, and a story about each and every one of us. Like them, we long for connection, are magnetized by attraction, and drawn by the desire to merge into oneness. Like them, passion is what connects us to all life, and desire is our path to divine union.

Sex — The Essential Life Force

The saga of Shakti and Shiva reminds us that ecstasy is our birthright and the source of all existence. It also tells us that sex is more than our individual desires, erotic experiences, intimate connections, and sexual behavior. It is the deepest expression of the power of creation. The mating drive is one of the most powerful forces in our world: it has to be or we wouldn’t be here, gloriously alive amid the wondrous diversity and complexity of existence. Asexual reproduction was a great starter plan for Earth, but it takes the desire to mate and mingle genes to birth the unimaginable and wondrous biodiversity of our world. That’s the foundational energy of sex: Sex is the most basic urge to merge.

Your Luscious Life Force

Your individual sexuality is your small piece of that primal power — the vital, pulsing life force. Your sexuality connects to that cosmic energy: they are one and the same thing, only on the micro and macro levels.

How you relate to that immense power has a pervasive impact on your life. You can repress your sexuality. (Or try to, it can’t be stopped) You can go “repression light” and downplay it. Or, you can take the other road and … celebrate it! Your sexuality can take you on a sacred ecstatic path that unites you profoundly to all life throughout time.

At the end of the day, the choice is yours. You can learn to fully and consciously open the inner portal to your sexual life force, and in so doing gain access to divine bliss and link to your uninhibited wild power. That exquisite connection to the cosmos —the erotic cosmos — resides inside you, right there in your sexy center. The choice is yours!

Did you enjoy that taste of Sheri’s award-winning book: Women’s Anatomy of Arousal: Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure? Find out why so many readers rave about the book and say things like this:

As a midArousal_frontcover-w-Book of theYear Awarddle-aged, plus-sized, average woman married 25 years who had never experienced a climax, to stumble upon this book has been an incredible blessing, to say the least. After reading it aloud to my husband on our road trip to the beach, we found freedom, healing, and other pleasures unknown to me before including (my first as well as) several orgasms. My husband also mentioned several times how helpful, detailed, and encouraging the book was for him.
We are both so encouraged!

Cindy Harvey, Amazon reviewer

Check it out!

How to Orgasm During Intercourse

How to Orgasm During Intercourse

Most women don’t have orgasms with intercourse — and that’s OK — AND, you can learn how to make it happen (if you want to).

Want to know more about women and orgasm? You can! Orgasmic capacity is a learnable skill! It’s something you can practice and get better at, whatever your current level. Take our recorded online course, The Fine Art of Female Orgasm (4 recorded virtual classes, special homeplay assignments, extra resources) and discover how you can go (and come) beyond your wildest dreams! For women and anyone who partners with women.

Female Genital Anatomy Quiz

Female Genital Anatomy Quiz

Female Genital Anatomy Quiz

Think you already know your way around down there? Well, take the quiz and find out! Sheri says, “I thought that I knew, especially after my extensive medical education as well as equally intense alternative health explorations and studies. And yet, I didn’t know all there was to know. I was shocked by what I didn’t learn in school!”

Identify the Parts Here: Be VulvaWise

Find Out What’s Missing and Why Here: The Missing Female Pleasure Parts

Is This Important Information for You? If so, please help us share it: Women’s Anatomy of Arousal Spanish Translation Project

The Spanish Translation fundraising campaign is LIVE!

Click here to Support it NOW!

Women’s Anatomy of Arousal provides the life-changing and integral map that all women (and their partners) need.

Now, we want to get this information into the hands of the multitude of people who speak Spanish. Please help us fund this important translation!

Go here to donate
(and review the cool and hot rewards)!

Ways You Can Help

This is an ALL OR NOTHING campaign. Which means if we don’t raise our goal, we don’t receive any funds. So please do one (or both) of the following if you wish us to succeed!

1) BACK THE PROJECT at whatever level you can. EVERY contribution counts!


Please help make the campaign a success and be a part of the team that gets this vital information out into the Spanish-speaking world!

Donate NOW (and get cool and hot) perks!

Sheri’s book, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal – Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure contains unique and extensive anatomy illustrations (drawn by Sheri!) that show, in great detail all of the parts women have, how they’re connected and how to make them happy! In fact, it won the 2010 Book of the Year award from AASECT (the American Association of Sex Educators, Counselors and Therapists) due to this ground-breaking understanding of female sexuality and anatomy.

“A must-read for every woman on Earth!!! I am 24 and highly recommend it to all women, to get the full understanding and knowledge of your body and pleasure that we are entitled to, have a right to and most importantly that there is nothing filthy, wrong or sinful about wanting pleasure, feeling it and having it!!! Please read this, your perception will change 360°” – Simona Ocelkova (Slovakia)

Check it out! Or just go ahead and grab a copy! Click on the book, right here ->





The Elusive Female Orgasm: More Tips to Orgasm-ability (Pt 3)

Carlos Schwabe - Spleen and IdealThe Elusive Female Orgasm

Three More Tips to Orgasm-ability

(Part Three)

In Part One of The Elusive Female Orgasm, I described three basic solo skills that can get you started on the path to orgasmic pleasure. In Part Two, I gave you four more easy ways to have easier and more orgasms.

Here are another three suggestions that you can use right now to have an orgasm. The same skills that can get you to your ecstatic peaks can also dramatically expand your orgasmic capacity. So have two. Or ten. Or more!

To learn or expand your orgasm-ability, it helps to start with your own self-pleasure. Your solo-sex is your foundational learning laboratory. After you figure out what works for you, you can share your discoveries with your intimate partners. But, like learning to play the piano, it’s best to start solo and then move to duets. Here are three more things you can do by yourself and with yourself to ramp up your arousal and orgasms!


8. Shake Your Booty

Rocking your hips is the basic mammal mating motion, so utilize that ancient pathway and pump your pelvis. Imagine your spine is a snake and undulate away. Even a small pelvic tilting motion will activate a basic sex reflex, so rock and roll your booty to enhance your turn-on and increase your climax. Pump it up, baby! Let your thrusting animal out and you’ll propel your orgasm sky-high.

9.      Relax

Sexual arousal is a dance between both excitement and relaxation, although our cultural model often focuses only on the revving it up part. Start to play with slowing it down as well. Dance with varying rhythms, from exquisitely slow through racing-car fast, and every speed in between. Sometimes you can even take time for stillness – in fact, that’s often where the pleasure and sensation can expand! Alternate speeding the rhythym up and slowing it down. Play with firing the energy up and cooling it down. Let go of the goal and focus on the experience. Enjoy the journey.

10. Practice and Experiment

The more you practice, the better you’ll get at anything. Practice allows your skills to become habitual. Sex is no exception. As you practice more, you’ll become increasingly proficient with your orgasmic abilities. So practice, lots and lots! It may not get you to Carnegie Hall, but it will get you where you want to go. And remember, your basic practice is with yourself. Partners are optional!

If you want to keep expanding your pleasure capacity, you need to keep trying novel things, running original experiments and exploring new pleasure pathways. Remember, there is no one right way to have sex or become mega-orgasmic. There are myriad paths to expanded sexuality. Don’t get stuck thinking about whether you’re doing it right or wrong. Just try different things; positions, fantasies, skills, toys and keep experimenting and exploring. Keep asking yourself, “What happens when I try it this way?” and run the experiment. Notice what works and what doesn’t. If something works, then add that to your practice.

Remember, even master musicians never stop trying new things and seeing where they can take their talents. An erotic virtuoso is always stretching toward new horizons, exploring new inner tools, and playing with the question of how far can I go. And the great thing about sex? You are your own instrument—and everyone has the capacity to access ecstasy.

This is an excerpt from Sheri’s book, Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play and Practice.

Want more? Check out our free e-book Orgasmic Abundance!

Do you miss Parts One and Two?
Read Part One and Part Two for More Tips.

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