Three More Tips to Orgasm-ability
In Part One of The Elusive Female Orgasm, I described three basic solo skills that can get you started on the path to orgasmic pleasure. In Part Two, I gave you four more easy ways to have easier and more orgasms.
Here are another three suggestions that you can use right now to have an orgasm. The same skills that can get you to your ecstatic peaks can also dramatically expand your orgasmic capacity. So have two. Or ten. Or more!
To learn or expand your orgasm-ability, it helps to start with your own self-pleasure. Your solo-sex is your foundational learning laboratory. After you figure out what works for you, you can share your discoveries with your intimate partners. But, like learning to play the piano, it’s best to start solo and then move to duets. Here are three more things you can do by yourself and with yourself to ramp up your arousal and orgasms!
8. Shake Your Booty
Rocking your hips is the basic mammal mating motion, so utilize that ancient pathway and pump your pelvis. Imagine your spine is a snake and undulate away. Even a small pelvic tilting motion will activate a basic sex reflex, so rock and roll your booty to enhance your turn-on and increase your climax. Pump it up, baby! Let your thrusting animal out and you’ll propel your orgasm sky-high.
Sexual arousal is a dance between both excitement and relaxation, although our cultural model often focuses only on the revving it up part. Start to play with slowing it down as well. Dance with varying rhythms, from exquisitely slow through racing-car fast, and every speed in between. Sometimes you can even take time for stillness – in fact, that’s often where the pleasure and sensation can expand! Alternate speeding the rhythym up and slowing it down. Play with firing the energy up and cooling it down. Let go of the goal and focus on the experience. Enjoy the journey.
10. Practice and Experiment
The more you practice, the better you’ll get at anything. Practice allows your skills to become habitual. Sex is no exception. As you practice more, you’ll become increasingly proficient with your orgasmic abilities. So practice, lots and lots! It may not get you to Carnegie Hall, but it will get you where you want to go. And remember, your basic practice is with yourself. Partners are optional!
If you want to keep expanding your pleasure capacity, you need to keep trying novel things, running original experiments and exploring new pleasure pathways. Remember, there is no one right way to have sex or become mega-orgasmic. There are myriad paths to expanded sexuality. Don’t get stuck thinking about whether you’re doing it right or wrong. Just try different things; positions, fantasies, skills, toys and keep experimenting and exploring. Keep asking yourself, “What happens when I try it this way?” and run the experiment. Notice what works and what doesn’t. If something works, then add that to your practice.
Remember, even master musicians never stop trying new things and seeing where they can take their talents. An erotic virtuoso is always stretching toward new horizons, exploring new inner tools, and playing with the question of how far can I go. And the great thing about sex? You are your own instrument—and everyone has the capacity to access ecstasy.