An Overview of the Integral Model of Wholistic Sexuality™

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I spend a lot of time thinking and writing about sex, particularly from my integral holistic perspective. I’m always trying to make my paradigm more clear, understandable and elegant. Here’s my latest version of what Wholistic Sexuality is. If you want to read the longer version, it’s is in the library.

Arthur Rackham Illustration from The RingWholistic Sexuality is about connection. First and foremost, your sexuality is about your connection with your Self — that’s your primary relationship.

Your Self includes all of you: body, mind, heart and spirit, past, present and future, genetics and environment — everything that makes you uniquely and completely you.

Your sexuality is about who you are, not who you do (or don’t) have sex with.Whatever you do or don’t do — you are a sexual being. Your sexuality is an inherent, inseparable and vital aspect of you.

Wholistic Sexuality is about seeing the connection of all life. Your sexuality connects you to everyone and everything. Your fundamental relationship to your self forms the foundation of all your other relationships. Like a hologram, your sexuality is a microcosm that reflects and manifests everything from the personal to the planetary.

Sex is one of the most powerful forces on the planet — it makes life! When you understand and respect that power you can channel it appropriately and responsibly, allowing you to connect with your ecstatic energy and its transformative potential.

Wholistic Sexuality sees sex as something you learn, including your erotic capacities, abilities and responses. Like learning to play an instrument to make beautiful music, you can learn how to play your ‘instrument’ to become an erotic virtuoso.

Bliss is your birthright. You were born with the natural capacity for extraordinary pleasure, abundant joy, and deep connection. Wholistic Sexuality is the map, the lessons and the guide to discovering, expanding and claiming your full sexual power.

Wholistic Sexuality offers a vision of sex where it is normal, natural and inherently good, where we honor the miracle of life and revere the energy of Eros. When we respect the power of sex and learn to navigate its awesome energy everyone can connect with the sacred gift of ecstasy.

Simple Sexy Sound

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Start to use one of your most multi-purpose tools – your sound – to enhance and amplify pleasure.

Coconut Oil – Is It A Risk for Vaginal Infections? (Part Two)

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Part Two of my video blog on coconut oil. I address some concerns people may have about coconut oil – how to serve it up and potential infection risks. Check out part one: Coconut Oil – It’s Not Just For Tanning Anymore!

Are We Really Still Debating Vaginal Orgasm?

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The Journal of Sexual Medicine’s recent issue states that “There is general agreement that it is possible to have an orgasm thru the direct simulation of the external clitoris. In contrast, the possibility of achieving climax during penetration has been controversial.” They include the opinions of six scientists with different experimental evidence debating the existence of the vaginally activated orgasm. Their conclusion? “The assumption that women may experience only the clitoral, external orgasm is not based on the best available scientific evidence.”

Really? Scientists are debating whether it’s possible for a woman to have an orgasm from vaginal stimulation? I hate to be snarky but ‘duh’. Of course it’s possible. Women having orgasms from vaginal penetration alone is’s just not what happens much of the time. The majority of women—more than half—don’t have orgasms with intercourse. Even for those that do, it’s not usually their first or easiest path to orgasm.

And, orgasm with intercourse is certainly not the only way or the right way. There is no one right way. There is a wide spectrum of orgasms people can have, and part of that variation definitely depends on what parts get stimulated, in what ways and for how long.

But here’s the thing. Woman can learn to have orgasms with intercourse—it’s a learnable skill. If a woman wants to learn how. It’s always important to remember that all of our erotic skills are options, not things any one has to do. And no one’s a failure or broken or not sexy if they haven’t yet learned how to have orgasms in any particular way.

So, I’d like to suggest we stop debating whether it’s possible and turn our attention to helping women learn lots of paths to orgasm and then learn to expand their pathways to include whatever activities they want in their repertoire.

Want More? Watch my Video Blog where I answer a woman’s question about How Can I Learn to Have Orgasms With Intercourse?

Natural Menstrual Products

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It’s an ecology issue – of your body and the world. Discover my favorite alternatives to commercial menstrual products.

Puddle Pads for Glorious Gushers

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If you gush, you need puddle pads. Here are two options.

Drink Up! And Down and On Your Side – Hydration and Bendy Straws

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Bendy Straws – an easy way to make sure you drink plenty of water while having sex so you stay well hydrated and can keep going on and on and on.

Now You See It Now You Don’t – Using A Blindfold

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Discover a simple toy to enhance your pleasure – the blindfold – it’s not just for kinky folks anymore.

Do Women Really Have a G-Spot?

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Yes, women do have a wonderful internal place that responds to the right kind of stimulation, at the right time — I just don’t call it a g-spot. Find out what it is.

Also, check out this blog post: G-Spot Reality Check.

Three Breath Orgasm Video

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At the Intimate Arts Center we help people to have better sex and better relationships, to achieve happier and healthier lives with more pleasure and more orgasms – lots more orgasms. Learning how to have hands-off energy orgasms is an advanced skill, but something anyone can master with lots of practice. Take a look at this fun video.