Bendy Straws – an easy way to make sure you drink plenty of water while having sex so you stay well hydrated and can keep going on and on and on.
Hot Tips for the Well-Stocked Boudoir
Discover a simple toy to enhance your pleasure – the blindfold – it’s not just for kinky folks anymore.
At the Intimate Arts Center we help people to have better sex and better relationships, to achieve happier and healthier lives with more pleasure and more orgasms – lots more orgasms. Learning how to have hands-off energy orgasms is an advanced skill, but something anyone can master with lots of practice. Take a look at this fun video.
The Crescent Pillow can make sex better by providing more position options and easing some body limitations!
Here’s a simple breath technique for relaxing, getting centered and present. Good for sex and for the rest of your life, too!
(JUST CLICK ON THE IMAGE ABOVE TO WATCH THE VIDEO.)
There’s a big difference between touching and feeling. When you touch something, you experience it more abstractly and less intimately than if you’re feeling it. Touch is mediated by all sorts of expectations and assumptions. For instance, if you’re touching skin, the experience is mediated by your awareness of what skin is supposed to feel like, and also by how you’re supposed to touch it in order to touch it “well.” There’s nothing wrong with this sort of touch, but it lacks a certain specialness. It lacks what Zen practitioners call beginner’s mind.
Feeling something is very different. It’s like the first time, every time.
You can discover the difference by playing the following game with yourself. First, choose a part of your body and touch it. Don’t make a big deal out of it. Caress it, squeeze it … make contact with it in the ways you normally would.
Now pretend that you’re a Martian and this is your first encounter with an Earthling. You’ve never encountered skin before; your language doesn’t even have a word for it! Now touch this same part yourself. Explore it with the curiosity and innocence you’re bring to a totally (and literally) alien experience.
When you’ve finished, take a few moments to register the difference between touching, which is what you did on the first round, and feeling, which is what your Martian alter ego did. If you wish, jot down some notes.
There is nothing wrong with touching. We do it all the time, and it’s fine. Feeling, however, has a magical sensuous quality that standard-issue touching lacks. When you’re practicing touch (and I’m using it in the generic sense here), make a point of folding feeling into your repertoire.
Men, do you want to NOT make the same mistakes so many other guys do (and so many women complain about)?
Women, do you want a quick-and-easy way to clue your guy into what works and what doesn’t for you?
Then read what follows!
The Five Things You Need To Know About Women
- Women are really, really different from you. Here’s a good working guideline for you: whatever you’d want done to yourself, assume she wants the opposite. It’s as if women inhabit a Bizarro World where everything is backwards. You’d like her to grab your cock as soon as possible, right? Well, applying the Bizarro Principle, that means she wants you to get to her crotch after you’ve taken lots of time warming up the rest of her.
- More than anything, she wants to feel connected. She wants to talk and touch, to listen and share. Attention and presence create the context of affinity and attachment she craves.
- She needs to feel safe in order to open and receive, and then to get turned on and orgasmic. If you try to barge in before she’s ready, it will backfire on you. At best, you’ll have to take three giant steps backwards. At worst, she’ll Just Say No, this time or forever.
- Now for the good news: when she does feel safe and connected, that’s when she’s most likely to want to have sex with you. That trusting connection will allow her to open way up!
- Feminine flowers need sun and water to bloom—so shower her with appreciation, admiration, compliments and other positive yumminess. Give the woman what she wants and she’ll blossom.
The Top Five Mistakes Guys Make With Women
- You don’t attend to her body language and subtle signals.
- You’re clumsy, unsubtle and rough—too much poking, pounding, pushing, grabbing and groping.
- You go to her genitals way too fast, diving into her crevices before she’s warmed up enough. The result: she clams up—and maybe tosses you into that mental file cabinet where she keeps the negative stereotypes about guys she’s been compiling over the years.
- Having gotten to her genitals too soon, you make it even worse by attempting premature penetration. If she isn’t highly aroused when you’re inside her, she won’t love it—and you want her to love it, right?
- Oh … did I mention that you tend to dive into the “target” too soon, ignoring the rest of her physical, mental, emotional and spiritual lusciousness? Take your time, guys, and enjoy the journey! The more fun she has getting there, the juicier it will be for you.
Five Things That Turn Her On
- Discover all her favorite erogenous zones. Ears, toes, shoulders. Neck, belly, knees. Her pinky. The inside of her wrist … There’s a whole lot of body there that isn’t breast, nipple, pussy and ass. (I know: those parts can seem invisible sometimes!) Play with all of it!
- Use words, ideas and fantasy. Her mind is her biggest erogenous zone: turn it on.
- She wants romance and seduction. Give it to her.
- Find out what her personal, private turn-ons are. Be willing to listen and have her show you. Real men ask for directions!
- Keep your lovemaking inspired and spontaneous. Novelty, excitement and newness turn her on.
Your inner pelvic muscles are one of the keys to turning yourself on. When you squeeze and release them, you’re actually sexually playing with yourself without using your hands (or anyone else’s). The pelvic floor muscle layers form a sandwich with your erectile network in the middle, so that moving these muscles directly stimulates your engorgeable tissue.
During orgasm, these muscles rapidly and rhythmically contract and release, sending waves of pleasure through the pelvis — and, if you’re naturally lucky or have learned how, through the entire body.
You have both voluntary and involuntary control of these muscles. That is, you can let the muscles do their thing entirely on their own or, if you want to expand the experience, you can pump, pulsate or play with them as a unit or as separate sub-groups.
Whether you’re a man or a woman, you can use the pelvic floor muscles to initiate your turn-on or add fuel to your sexual fire. Working them stimulates the nerves and increases the blood flow to your pelvis, which increases your engorgement and erection (or herection). The pelvic floor also acts like an energy trampoline, bouncing the sexual energy up into the rest of your body.
Keeping these muscles toned is important for general pelvic health throughout a woman’s lifetime. They’re also the muscles used to birth a baby. Strong, flexible and skilled muscles can facilitate efficient labor (a good thing), support the natural processes (a very good thing), and even promote ecstatic birth (a great thing!). After childbirth, it is especially important to re-strengthen and tone these muscles. The pelvic floor muscles hold up the pelvic organs and keep gravity from having its way with a woman as she ages. For women with bladder control problems, a low or “dropped” uterus or “female” problems, or for anyone with constipation, strengthening these muscles can help enormously. And for women who wish to improve their sexual responsiveness, learning to work with these muscles is an all-important first step.
In fact, I’ll take this further: getting in touch with your pelvic floor muscles is the foundation to becoming an erotic virtuoso.