Men, health, sexuality

Is Porn Turning Boys Into Monsters?

Headline from The Guardian: “Any boy who tells you that he hasn’t seen porn is lying. Porn changes what you expect from girls”

While I certainly agree with many points in the article, such as we need to be teaching about relationship and communication skills and consent in sex education for children and teens, there are a few points that seem to arise frequently about the influence of porn.

This article in the UK Guardian states:

“A 2013 report for the Office of the Children’s Commissioner, called Basically … Porn is Everywhere, examined recent research on the impact of pornography on children and young people. According to the report, pornography “influences their attitudes towards relationships and sex; it is linked to risky behaviour such as having sex at a younger age; and there is a correlation between holding violent attitudes and accessing more violent media”.

As far as I know, the data I’ve seen does not support that conclusion.

Has anyone seen this report or this data?

Do you believe this is true?

Are they conflating correlation, influence and “links” to causation? (It’s a favorite media tactic for sensationalizing and twisting data.)

Also, is “slag” British for slut?

Guys’ Lover-in-a-Box Kit, On a Count of Five

Woman Cuddling Cat by Alfred Eisenstaedt

by Alfred Eisenstaedt

Men, do you want to NOT make the same mistakes so many other guys do (and so many women complain about)?

Women, do you want a quick-and-easy way to clue your guy into what works and what doesn’t for you?

Then read what follows!

 

The Five Things You Need To Know About Women

  1. Women are really, really different from you. Here’s a good working guideline for you: whatever you’d want done to yourself, assume she wants the opposite. It’s as if women inhabit a Bizarro World where everything is backwards. You’d like her to grab your cock as soon as possible, right? Well, applying the Bizarro Principle, that means she wants you to get to her crotch after you’ve taken lots of time warming up the rest of her.
  2. More than anything, she wants to feel connected. She wants to talk and touch, to listen and share. Attention and presence create the context of affinity and attachment she craves.
  3. She needs to feel safe in order to open and receive, and then to get turned on and orgasmic. If you try to barge in before she’s ready, it will backfire on you. At best, you’ll have to take three giant steps backwards. At worst, she’ll Just Say No, this time or forever.
  4. Now for the good news: when she does feel safe and connected, that’s when she’s most likely to want to have sex with you. That trusting connection will allow her to open way up!
  5. Feminine flowers need sun and water to bloom—so shower her with appreciation, admiration, compliments and other positive yumminess. Give the woman what she wants and she’ll blossom.

The Top Five Mistakes Guys Make With Women

  1. You don’t attend to her body language and subtle signals.
  2. You’re clumsy, unsubtle and rough—too much poking, pounding, pushing, grabbing and groping.
  3. You go to her genitals way too fast, diving into her crevices before she’s warmed up enough. The result: she clams up—and maybe tosses you into that mental file cabinet where she keeps the negative stereotypes about guys she’s been compiling over the years.
  4. Having gotten to her genitals too soon, you make it even worse by attempting premature penetration. If she isn’t highly aroused when you’re inside her, she won’t love it—and you want her to love it, right?
  5. Oh … did I mention that you tend to dive into the “target” too soon, ignoring the rest of her physical, mental, emotional and spiritual lusciousness? Take your time, guys, and enjoy the journey! The more fun she has getting there, the juicier it will be for you.

Five Things That Turn Her On

  1. Discover all her favorite erogenous zones. Ears, toes, shoulders. Neck, belly, knees. Her pinky. The inside of her wrist … There’s a whole lot of body there that isn’t breast, nipple, pussy and ass. (I know: those parts can seem invisible sometimes!) Play with all of it!
  2. Use words, ideas and fantasy. Her mind is her biggest erogenous zone: turn it on.
  3. She wants romance and seduction. Give it to her.
  4. Find out what her personal, private turn-ons are. Be willing to listen and have her show you. Real men ask for directions!
  5. Keep your lovemaking inspired and spontaneous. Novelty, excitement and newness turn her on.

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