Four Lessons Prince Taught Us About Sacred Sex

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Prince(By Sheri Winston and Carl Frankel)

Because Prince was the rare artist-celebrity who was both deeply religious and openly sexual, his untimely passing has placed a sudden spotlight on the topic of sacred sex. His view of the relationship between sex and God provides invaluable insights to people who want to practice sacred sex, but aren’t sure how to do it.

Many religious faiths are vehemently sex-negative—anti-sex and anti-pleasure. You can only get to heaven, these traditions tell you, by transcending the body and its shameful desires. Because these attitudes have permeated our culture, many people see sex as sinful and the farthest thing from sacred.

Prince was the absolute opposite of sex-negative. He believed that sex was one of God’s greatest gifts to humanity. For him, all sex was sacred. He believed that we can have sex that both feels amazing and connects us with the Divine. That’s a pretty radical belief in a world where sex has become deeply associated with sin.

Here are four takeaways from the Gospel of Prince about how to have sex that is both hot and holy.

1. Sacred sex isn’t ‘sex lite.’ It’s not sex with the raw, lewd, hot stuff stripped out. Prince made it clear that sex can be sacred and wildly profane at the same time. Since sexual desire was a gift from God, unbridled lust was one of many possible ways to praise Him. (An especially fun way!)

In Darling Nikki, he meets the song’s protagonist when she’s “in a hotel lobby, masturbating with a magazine.” They go upstairs and have a “funky time.” She’s quite the bedmate: Prince’s body “will never be the same.”

Sounds like quite the delightfully raunchy encounter, right? Only the song ends with a surprise—these words played backward:

“Hello, how are you? I’m fine, ‘cause I know
That the Lord is coming soon, coming, coming soon.”

Prince is suggesting that no matter how hot and dirty the sex gets, God is fine with it. Although Nikki turned him into a “dirty little Prince” whose one desire was to “grind grind grind,” that didn’t make him a sinner. He was “fine.” His journey into lust wouldn’t keep God from “coming soon.”

Great news! You can get down and dirty and still have it be sacred.

2. There’s a big gap between Prince’s view of sex as inherently sacred and the notion many people have of sacred sex as a sort of special sauce that elevates the usual sexual experience. Although many people associate sacred sex with ancient erotic traditions like Tantra, that’s not required. In Adore, Prince writes:

“When we be makin’ love
I only hear the sounds
Heavenly angels cryin’ up above
Tears of joy pourin’ down on us.”

There’s no mention here of special breathing techniques or any of the other sacred-sex moves you can study up on in the esoteric traditions. Prince and his partner were madly in love and making love. That was good enough to make it sacred. How do we know? Because the angels wept with joy for them.

Special techniques can help—a lot, actually—but sex doesn’t become spiritual just because you paint by the sacred-sex numbers. Sex is sanctified by what your soul brings to it.

3. Prince believed that the body is inherently sacred—both a gifyou-came-into-my-life-1174536_1920t from God and a path to God. In The Human Body, he writes:

“Can U get me excited?
Excited enough 2 thank the God above 4 the human body.”

Here, too, we see him making his familiar sex-and-God connection. If you turn me on enough, he’s saying, the spirit will come over me and I’ll cry “Hallelujah!”

We can follow Prince’s lead on this one, too. Sacred sex transmutes physical arousal into powerful feelings of gratitude to God for giving us hearts that can love as intensely as they do, and bodies that can experience such amazing pleasure.

4. For Prince, sex was right up there alongside salvation as part of God’s grand plan—so much so, in fact, that the Second Coming, as imagined by Prince, sounds suspiciously like a sex party.

From Sexuality:

“Stand up everybody, this is your life
Let me take u to another world, let me take u tonight
U don’t need no money, u don’t need no clothes
The Second Coming, anything goes
Sexuality is all u’ll ever need
Sexuality—let your body be free.”

That’s right, folks—Prince basically had his God presiding over an orgy. A holy orgy. Talk about radical sex-positivity!

Which brings us to our fourth takeaway: If you want to practice sacred sex, be like Prince and be sex-positive.

Prince left us many gifts, including his vast musical output and his amazing performances. Perhaps his greatest gift, though, was his unshakable belief that sex didn’t cause our downfall. Quite the opposite, actually—it’s what brings us back to the Garden.

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The Squirt Report (Part 2): Take it from the Professionals?

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In our recent survey on female ejaculation, we asked several pointed questions about how porn influences people’s understanding of female ejaculation. (Whether porn has assisted people in achieving female ejaculation is a whole other topic, but our previous post on this survey would suggest it has helped at least a few.) Let’s see what we’ve learned from the “pros,” shall we?

I Know It When I See It

The first line of business, of course, is to establish how common squirting is in porn as a whole. While there aren’t any statistics to cite regarding the number of gushes per minute of video in the endless library of professionally produced porn (let alone amateur and live-cam), we do know how many of our responders have actually seen squirting porn: sixty-four percent, whereas only thirty-six percent have never seen it. Of course, we have no way of knowing how much porn in general the respondents regularly consume. Still, it’s safe to say that squirting porn is common and widely available. That’s not proof that female-ejaculation is real. It’s mighty suggestive, though.

Let the Skeptics Arise

Oddly enough, although over six hundred people responded that they have seen squirting porn, less than four hundred people who believe in the validity of female ejaculation cite squirting porn as a reason for their belief. This statistic doesn’t really tell us much about female ejaculation as a scientifically proven occurrence, but it does say quite a bit about the merit most viewers give to porn as a realistic portrayal of true sexual experience. So, how much trust do most people give the professionals?

You Had One Job

It turns out, not as much as you’d think. Of our respondents, only ten percent believe that squirting porn is always real. Forty-seven percent think it is sometimes real, twelve percent think it’s never real, and a whopping thirty-one percent don’t know one way or the other. In other words, when it comes to female ejaculation, the jury is out on whether or not we can trust the professional squirters. This has to make them feel pretty bad, right?

Probably not.

In fact, based on this video, even porn stars aren’t sure if female ejaculation is real or fake!

If you can’t trust the pros, who can you trust? (That question is dripping with sarcasm.)

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The Squirt Report (Part 1): Where Do You Fit In?

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femaleejaculationAs many of you know, we recently fielded a survey on female ejaculation. We’ve gotten over 1,400 responses so far, enough to be able to claim a reasonable amount of statistical significance for our data.*

Here’s our first report about our findings.

How Often Do Squirters Squirt?

For most gushers, whether or not they’ll ejaculate is unpredictable. Five percent of gushers say they “always” ejaculate. Twenty-seven percent “usually” squirt, 42% say sometimes, and 22% “rarely.”

(Three percent of respondents who said they female-ejaculate responded ‘never’ to this question. Contradictory, right? Our comments section suggests that most of these folks had one squirting experience in their lives, then never again.)

They Get By With Some Help From Their Friends

Fifty-three percent of gushers say they’re likelier to squirt when they’re having partnered sex. Twenty-one percent say it’s more likely when they’re playing solo, and 26% say the likelihood is about the same.

Hey—what are friends for?

splashing-164171_1280Get Out the Puddle Pads!

When asked how much they gush, our respondents’ answers were all over the place. (Like the female ejaculate, maybe.)

Only 1% said they emit “a few drops.” Eleven percent said a “small amount.” “More than a little, less than a lot” came in at 23% and “I’m a super-soaker” registered at 31%.

“Varies” was the highest number of all—34%.

Bottom line, when women squirt, they tend to produce a lot of liquid. The amount tends to be unpredictable, though. Many women produce more on one occasion, less on another.

A Learnable Skill!

About 50% of squirters learned how to do so. (Seven percent of all squirters said they learned with a teacher, 25% with a partner, and 17% taught themselves.)

Fourteen percent of squirters said they’d always been able to do so. Fifty percent of respondents said they developed the ability spontaneously as they grew into their sexuality.

(Total percentages exceed 100% because multiple answers were permitted.)

At Any Age!

Two percent of gushers report having the ability as pre-teens. Three percent learned how to gush when they were over 60. Over 50% of all gushers learned to squirt when they were thirty or older.

The moral: It’s never too late!

Everyone’s Experience Is Different

prt_500x500_1418345679_2x-by-by-folkert-gorterLet’s close with some quotes about gushers’ personal experience:

  • “It was something I taught myself at age 11 through intuition. However, as I have gotten older, it has been more difficult to quiet my mind and let stress fall away. Due to this, squirting happens much less frequently.”
  • “It just happened spontaneously after trying to learn it. The moment I let it go proverbially, I let it go literally.”
  • “I started gushing when I married my husband last year. It’s very emotional for me. I need to feel really loved and wanted or it doesn’t happen.”

Do any of these comments ring true for you? Where do you fit in?

*An important note: Our sample is neither random nor a cross-section of the population. Many of our respondents came from our own list or from similar communities of sexually savvy people. That being said, we view the findings as strongly suggestive—and totally interesting.

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