Sexual Breathing for Sensational Sex

/in , , , , /by

Sexy Breath

Your breath is the most central and simple tool you have to shift your state of consciousness. You can use your breath in a multitude of ways. Your breath is one of your most foundational inner tools. You can breath to get more present, to relax, to expand your awareness of sensation, to turn off your chattering ‘thinking’ brain and to turn up your turn-on.

More Enhancement Tools In Your Well-Hung Toolkit

Your brain is a powerful erotic engine that can either help or hinder your arousal. You can engage it in ways that amplify your sensual and sexual awareness. Your mind can help you center your focus on pleasure and sensation.

Another powerful way to use your mind is by engaging your imagination. Your gullible brain believes that whatever you imagine is true. You can employ that knowledge by making-up all sorts of lovely imaginary experiences to play with your erotic energy.

Movement is another one of your inner tools that can heighten awareness, increase sensation, and rev up your body.

Joining conscious breathing with movement and imagination is a winning combination for easier arousal, more sensation and pumping up your pleasure! You can use your inner tools to orchestrate your awareness and attention, electrify your thrills and inspire awesome pleasure.

The Sexual Breathing Practice

the-act-of-1419363Here’s a simple way to harness these inner tools. Do a Sexual Breathing practice. You take deep breaths while you pump your pelvic floor muscles (PFMs) and imagine that you’re breathing in and out through your bottom (genitals, anus and perineum).

You can pull up your PFMs on the inhale or the exhale. You can coordinate the pattern in whatever way is easiest for you, but the rhythm I suggest may work best. (Try it this way and if it doesn’t work for you, do the reverse.)

Take a deep breath in and pull up on your PFMs. Exhale and release them. Continue this pattern of coordinated breath and pelvic floor muscle movements. Relax into the rhythm. Begin to imagine that your breath is actually being sucked in through your bottom as you inhale and is being released from your bottom on the exhale. Imagine that you feel the air flowing into your genitals as you pull it in on your inspiration and flowing out as you exhale and release. Feel the sensations of the air rolling in and out, all the way through your whole body.

Play With Patterns

Find the rate that is easiest for you. Practice and play with it until it feels natural and effortless.

You can use this practice with a slow rhythm to relax. Get a nice easy rhythm going and bask in the calming practice.

Play with using this practice during erotic play. See what happens when you start slow and slowly increase the speed until you’re really rocking it.

Try it at a fast rate to turn up your turn-on. You’ll probably notice that the combination of breath, muscle work, and focused imagination intensifies your arousal.

Add it to your next climax and see what happens when you direct several streams of mind and body energy into your orgasm all at the same time.

4976972267_dcb24dabaa_oSolo or Partnered

You can do sexual breathing alone or with a partner. When you do it as a duo, you can synchronize by both doing the same pattern at the same time. Or you can do opposite patterns, with one of you inhaling while the other exhales.

It’s All Good

There’s no right way and no way to do it wrong, so go ahead and experiment. Play with breathing through your bottom and pulse your way to more pleasure.

Succulent_Sexcraft_Sheri_Winston
This is a teasing, tempting taste of my book, Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play & Practice which is jam-packed with games, exercises and practices like this one.

Find out more about this super useful, inspiring and visionary guide to extraordinary and empowering sex for everyone.

 

“Succulent SexCraft is an adventurous, practical, and delightful guide to owning and operating your sexuality – with or without a partner. This book is superb.”
-Christiane Northrup, M.D., ob/gyn physician & author of Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom & The Wisdom of Menopause

Save

Save

Save

Breath: Your Most Basic Body Tool

/in , , , /by

In the Beginning Was the Breath

Breath. It’s the foundation of life itself, one of the unchanging rhythms of existence. When you were born, the first thing you did was breathe—you ‘inspired.’ When you stop breathing, you die—you ‘expire.’

Breath: The Bridge to Somewhere

No one had to teach you how to breathe. The pattern of your respiration is determined by your actions, emotions and energy. If you’re anxious, your breath tightens, becoming short and restrained. Panic makes it rapid, shallow and frantic. If you run fast, you breathe hard and deep. As you relax, it lengthens into a regular sweeping flow. Most of the time, your emotional, mental and physical state are the engine of the train, pulling the car of your breath behind.

But you don’t have to breathe on auto-pilot. You can use your breath to alter your state. Your respiratory system is innervated by both your involuntary and voluntary nervous systems—it’s the only system in your body with that overlap. It’s where conscious choice intersects with unconscious programming. That means that your breath can become the ‘engine,’ pulling the ‘train’ of your state along behind. Anytime you want, you can become aware of your breath pattern and have it take the lead. While there are limits—you can’t breathe once an hour or 300 times a minute—within those bookends, you have a great deal of flexibility.

There are innumerable ways to use your breathing to shift your state, including many ways to use it to enhance your pleasure. You can use your breathing to relax, get present, turn off your inner chatter-box, to turn on your body and to expand your orgasms. While there are no right or wrong ways to breath and to use your respiration as a conscious tool, it is possible to have less then pleasurable effects.

Hyperventilanne-anderson-wind-blowsation

When you play with your breathing, you can ‘over-breathe’ or hyperventilate, disturbing your body’s critical balance of oxygen and carbon dioxide. Your inner warning sensors will respond when you’re exhaling too much (when you have too little carbon dioxide) and not inhaling enough, (not enough oxygen). At that point you’ll start to have symptoms of hyperventilation such as dizziness, tingling lips and fingers, and spasms of your hands, feet and face.

 

Hyperventilation Prevention

Prevent hyperventilation with the following practices:

  • Keep your inhale and exhale the same length.
  • Even when breathing rapidly, make sure to take deep breaths.
  • Alternate fast breathing practices with slow ones.
  • Intersperse a few deep slow breaths with fast breathing.
  • When breathing fast or doing long exhales, reinforce your breath with other tools, especially sound and traditional ‘hands-on’ stimulation. The more you use your whole toolkit to build your arousal, the less likely you are to hyperventilate no matter how wildly you breathe.

Hyperventilation Treatment

Feeling woozy and tingly (and not in a good way)? To treat impending hyperventilation, you can:

  • Make your inhale long and slow and do shorter exhales.
  • Take a breath in, hold it for a count of three, then release slowly.
  • Breathe into your cupped hands.

Play with your breathing. Run experiments and see how it can fire you up or calm you down, expand your awareness and bring you into your pleasure. Breath is the centerpiece of many spiritual practices and mind-body disciplines because of it’s power to consciously shift your consciousness. It’s your most basic and flexible body tool. So remember: you can use it anytime, anywhere, to go wherever you want to go. And don’t forget to practice safe breathing!

Why SexCraft? Because sex isn’t just natural, it’s a craft, and awesome sex is learnable!

SSC-3D-150x214Want to learn more about how to use your breath and other ‘SexCraft’ tools? This blog is an excerpt from my book, Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play & Practice. It’s the book that can guide you to discovering your awesome erotic potential!olc_succulent_sexcraft_product-image

Would you rather get personal teaching direct from me? You can get the online course of Succulent SexCraft. Go here for more info about this enlightening erotic education course.

 

An Orgasm A Day…

/in , , , /by

An Orgasm A Day…

Better Health Through Orgasm!

An orgasm a day may not entirely keep the doctor away but it sure will help. Orgasms are decidedly good for you. When you climax, a host of feel-good chemicals are released that bring about a sense of euphoria, reduce stress, enhance relaxation and lead to an increased feeling of well-being. These are the same substances linked to the many benefits of meditation, massage and exercise.

Orgasmic Meditation

Orgasms can start your day with a bang or provide a satisfying end of the day with an easy drift into blissful sleep. Orgasms are antidepressant and come with no unpleasant side-effects (although they may be addictive). The orgasmic turn-on literally turns off the parts of the brain responsible for processing fear and anxiety. The neuro-chemical soup of coming simmers away stress, leaving calm behind. This chicken soup of sex improves immunity and promotes healing.

You can do it alone or do it with friends (real or imagined). Orgasms can be a solitary satisfaction or enhance a special connection with a certain someone. For those so inclined they can even be the highlight of a social occasion. No matter your mating situation, the pleasurable peak is always available

Bliss Benefits

However you have them, orgasms are greatly beneficial. The heavy breathing part counts as aerobic exercise, so get cranking! The muscle tension of arousal and the electrifying contractions of coming exercise your pelvis in a delightful way. Toning your pelvic muscles improves bladder and bowel function, which is surely a path to happiness. Getting turned on tunes up circulation. Sexual stimulation both soothes and energizes nerves. Excitement extinguishes anxiety and enhances mental functioning.

Prescription pad_orgasmEvery Day Orgasm

Best of all the acme of ecstasy bathes you in an endorphin-high of your very own natural opiates. And the more often you work that system, the better it functions. That’s why I believe that medical practitioners ought to prescribe regular daily orgasms. My professional recommendation is a minimum of 1 orgasm a day or 3 -4 pinnacles of pleasure per week. Naturally, you can have as many as you want since there’s no known maximum. The benefits increase as your dose does, so more is definitely better in this case. I suppose there might be a possibility of over-coming, but OD’ing on orgasm would not be a bad way to go.

Expand Your Experience

Not only are regular orgasm good for what ails you, but super strength orgasms are surely even healthier. Expanded and extended orgasms do an even better job of replicating the benefits of meditation and medication. Trust me, if you come 20 or 30 times, you probably won’t need your Prozac. If you have an orgasm lasting half an hour, your Zoloft will gather dust. You can walk around with a big ole satisfied grin on your face all day long when you rejuvenate with the original mood-altering substance of sex. Stop making excuses. It’s free, it doesn’t take long and the benefits are substantial. So, if you haven’t had your daily dose of ecstasy (the original non-pill kind), go on, pull down your pants, get out the lube and get to work! After all, it’s good for you!

Read more

How Can I Help Bring My Partner Back Into the Moment?

/in , , , , /by

Sheri answers the question “How Can I Help Bring My Partner Back Into the Moment?” during the Ask Anything about Sacred Sex webinar.

Boucher - education of cupid-w-laptopCheck out Intimate Arts Online, our recorded virtual courses to learn at home and at your convenience!

Courses include 3- 4 classes, extra resources, & delicious home play assignments!

Find out more about Intimate Arts Online here and discover just how much pleasure, satisfaction and joy you can have!

 

Pleasurable Safer Sex: Sexual Interaction Guidelines

/in , , , /by

The Cautious Lover by Nicolas Tassaert, c. 1860

Pleasurable Safer Sex:

Sexual (& Sensual) Interaction Guidelines

Sheri, The Queen of Safer Sex and Good Condom Fairy Says, “JUST BECAUSE IT’S SEXY, DOESN’T MAKE IT SAFE!”

Talking about sex with a potential partner usually isn’t easy. Most of us have never seen good communication about sex modeled in our lives. We don’t see it on our screens, whether we’re watching sitcoms, mainstream movies or porn.

Why is it So Hard? (And Not in a Good Way)

We may think of sex as a scarce commodity that we need to  grab quickly before the opportunity evaporates. Or, perhaps we think that discussing a possible sexual encounter will ruin the moment, dissipating the  magic and deflating the erotic energy. Sometimes we’re conflicted and confused as our lusty desires war with internalized sexual shame. Often we’re uncomfortable with the limited vocabulary of sex and just plain inexperienced with talking about what we want or don’t want. Maybe we just don’t know what we want!

And finally, the ultimate challenge: arousal makes our thinking brains go off-line, leading to the classic inability to have enough blood flow for our heads and our genitals. I like to say that sex makes us stupid. There’s nothing personal here, it’s just how we’re wired.

The thing is, great communication about sex is what makes for really great, pleasurable, mutually satisfying and hot sex!

So, here’s a short guide to helping you navigate the tumultuous waters of erotic communication without capsizing or running aground so your sexual sailing is smooth and pleasurable.

Start with Yourself

Check in with yourself before engaging in sensual and sexual activities with someone else. Be honest and take as much time as you need to be clear about what you want to do or not do.  You need to start by checking in with yourself. This is not a one-time decision. This is an ongoing practice! Keep checking in as you go.

The Pre-Pre-Sex Talk: Communicate Clearly and Honestly

So easy to say but here it is: Communicate with your potential partners. Be honest, clear and overt. Use your ‘courage muscles’, take a deep breath and just do it.

Honor Boundaries

Make agreements about the boundaries for your erotic interactions and then honor them.
Honor prior agreements with others. Tell the complete truth about your agreements.
Discuss expectations, intentions and commitments before engaging in behaviors.
Be responsible and respectful to yourself and to others. Play nice.
Don’t assume permission, ASK! This, too, is an ongoing practice!

The Pre-Sex Talk

If you’re all in agreement about wanting to play erotically, have a Pre-Sex Talk.
If you can’t talk about it, don’t do it. Remember, sex makes you stupid, so be smart and have this conversation before you’re highly aroused.
Already aroused? Take a break, calm down until your brain goes back on-line and then talk.

Want to reduce health risks?

Consider staying in the shallow end of the pool–that is, playing in the safer realm of sensual activities. There’s a lot of fun to be had without contact of your genitals and the surrounding skin, or sharing sexual fluids and the accompanying risks of disease. You can still have a great and erotic time. It’s better to be careful then sorry!

The Pre-Sex Talk

This conversation includes:

  • Who are you currently being sexual and/or intimate with? Discuss current partner status and agreements.
  • History of sexually transmitted diseases
  • Testing history including HIV, as well as other sexually transmitted infections.
  • What intimate sensual or sexual activities will you engage in together, now?What kinds of pleasure do you enjoy giving and receiving?
  • What are your boundaries? At what points do you want to check in again?
  • What safer sex or risk reduction practices will you use?
  • Contraception, if applicable.
  • Anything else that needs to be talked about?

Sheri, The Sovereign of Safer Sex Says, “YOU CAN STAY SAFE AND HAVE FUN!!!!”

 

How to Orgasm During Intercourse

/in , , , , /by

How to Orgasm During Intercourse

Most women don’t have orgasms with intercourse — and that’s OK — AND, you can learn how to make it happen (if you want to).

Want to know more about women and orgasm? You can! Orgasmic capacity is a learnable skill! It’s something you can practice and get better at, whatever your current level. Take our recorded online course, The Fine Art of Female Orgasm (4 recorded virtual classes, special homeplay assignments, extra resources) and discover how you can go (and come) beyond your wildest dreams! For women and anyone who partners with women.

The Elusive Female Orgasm: More Tips to Orgasm-ability (Pt 3)

/in , , , , , /by

Carlos Schwabe - Spleen and IdealThe Elusive Female Orgasm

Three More Tips to Orgasm-ability

(Part Three)

In Part One of The Elusive Female Orgasm, I described three basic solo skills that can get you started on the path to orgasmic pleasure. In Part Two, I gave you four more easy ways to have easier and more orgasms.

Here are another three suggestions that you can use right now to have an orgasm. The same skills that can get you to your ecstatic peaks can also dramatically expand your orgasmic capacity. So have two. Or ten. Or more!

To learn or expand your orgasm-ability, it helps to start with your own self-pleasure. Your solo-sex is your foundational learning laboratory. After you figure out what works for you, you can share your discoveries with your intimate partners. But, like learning to play the piano, it’s best to start solo and then move to duets. Here are three more things you can do by yourself and with yourself to ramp up your arousal and orgasms!

orgasmschoolbanner

8. Shake Your Booty

Rocking your hips is the basic mammal mating motion, so utilize that ancient pathway and pump your pelvis. Imagine your spine is a snake and undulate away. Even a small pelvic tilting motion will activate a basic sex reflex, so rock and roll your booty to enhance your turn-on and increase your climax. Pump it up, baby! Let your thrusting animal out and you’ll propel your orgasm sky-high.

9.      Relax

Sexual arousal is a dance between both excitement and relaxation, although our cultural model often focuses only on the revving it up part. Start to play with slowing it down as well. Dance with varying rhythms, from exquisitely slow through racing-car fast, and every speed in between. Sometimes you can even take time for stillness – in fact, that’s often where the pleasure and sensation can expand! Alternate speeding the rhythym up and slowing it down. Play with firing the energy up and cooling it down. Let go of the goal and focus on the experience. Enjoy the journey.

10. Practice and Experiment

The more you practice, the better you’ll get at anything. Practice allows your skills to become habitual. Sex is no exception. As you practice more, you’ll become increasingly proficient with your orgasmic abilities. So practice, lots and lots! It may not get you to Carnegie Hall, but it will get you where you want to go. And remember, your basic practice is with yourself. Partners are optional!

If you want to keep expanding your pleasure capacity, you need to keep trying novel things, running original experiments and exploring new pleasure pathways. Remember, there is no one right way to have sex or become mega-orgasmic. There are myriad paths to expanded sexuality. Don’t get stuck thinking about whether you’re doing it right or wrong. Just try different things; positions, fantasies, skills, toys and keep experimenting and exploring. Keep asking yourself, “What happens when I try it this way?” and run the experiment. Notice what works and what doesn’t. If something works, then add that to your practice.

Remember, even master musicians never stop trying new things and seeing where they can take their talents. An erotic virtuoso is always stretching toward new horizons, exploring new inner tools, and playing with the question of how far can I go. And the great thing about sex? You are your own instrument—and everyone has the capacity to access ecstasy.

This is an excerpt from Sheri’s book, Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play and Practice.

Want more? Check out our free e-book Orgasmic Abundance!

Do you miss Parts One and Two?
Read Part One and Part Two for More Tips.

 OLC_Succulent_SexCraft_Website header_ProductAre you ready to have Sheri personally help you learn to play your own instrument with skill and passion?

You can do it in the comfort and privacy of your own home with Intimate Arts Online Education!

Join us for a 4-week deep dive into Succulent SexCraft: Supercharge Your OWN Pleasure for a lifetime of MORE!

Amplified arousal, easy orgasms, expanded orgasms and access to your own ecstasy awaits you!

The Elusive Female Orgasm: More Tips to Awesome Orgasm (Part 2)

/in , , , , , /by
Woman on Wave by Baruffi

Woman on Wave by Baruffi

Four More Tips to Awesome Female Orgasm

(Part 2)

For most women, orgasm is a learned pathway. In Part One I offered some simple ways to learn to find your path, amplify your arousal and access your orgasm.

You aren’t broken if you haven’t yet discovered or established your orgasmic pathways. There are just some skills that you haven’t learned or mastered yet. Have faith that you can get there. You can!

Here are four more easy and effective ways to get where you want to go.

4.      Move It — Flex Your Floor

Inside the bottom of your body lies a hammock of muscles that surround your genitalia and associated organs. Every time you grasp and release these muscles, you’re squeezing, rubbing and fondling your sexy bits. Essentially, you’re playing with yourself without using your hands, which is convenient because during sex your hands are often busy elsewhere.

The pelvic floor muscles also act as a trampoline for sexual energy. The muscles ricochet and reverberate it all around your body, spreading your arousal and magnifying its intensity.

Again, there is no one right way to play with your pelvic floor muscles, so experiment with lots of different actions. Squeeze, pull up, cinch together, flutter, vibrate, push, hold and release them as you see fit. Just get them involved and you’ll heighten your excitement, experience easier arousal and extend your orgasm.

5.      Sing Your Sound

Sound inhibition is the enemy of freeing your orgasm, so to escalate your experience, open your mouth and let the sounds out. You don’t have to raise the roof or frighten the horses, just try playing with little gasps and moans. Start small by making your breath audible. Play with making soft, sexy sounds as you proceed through your arousal journey. Expand your sound repertoire as you become more comfortable with your sound ability. Moan, coo, sigh and whimper and you’ll enhance your experience. Allow yourself to have fun releasing your soundtrack of pleasure.

Use sound (and breath, of course) when you start coming and don’t stop. Allow the sound to roll out of your open mouth along with the orgasmic wave. As you’re climaxing, keep your sounds going and your orgasm will keep happening, too!

There you go (or come as the case may be).

6.      Say Yes to Yourself

Give yourself permission to feel more, do more, explore and go further, deeper and wilder than you ever have. Free your mind and the rest will come along.

When playing with your new skills, resistance, fear, anxiety and propriety will likely arise. Fend them off by repeatedly giving yourself permission to feel all of the pleasure you’re capable of and to be a wildly free sexual being.

orgasmschoolbanner

Give yourself permission, over and over, to release, to let go of inhibitions and to push yourself into new territory. Say, “Yes” to pleasure, “Yes” to getting wilder, “YES” to going further than you thought you could. When you start to orgasm, don’t let limiting beliefs stop you. Say, “Yes” to allowing yourself to keep going, and you will.

7.      Touch Yourself All Over

Treat yourself to the luxury of your own sweet touch. Connect to your entire body in a variety of delightful ways. Take your time exploring the feel of your skin and the sensations of pleasure. Add some wonderfully smelling massage oil and rub, caress and slide over your silky sensual surface. Be your own great lover and treat yourself to touch in the exquisite way you so richly deserve.

When you do arrive at your very own delicious genitals, explore all of the wonderful territory, tracing each contour, investigating every little nook, caressing each delicate cranny. There’s no right way to play with yourself, so just take your time and feel how it feels. When you find a stroke you like, repeat it. When you discover a move that moves you, do more of it!

Now, Go Play!

Take these ideas into the laboratory of your life and play with them. Do your own experiments and pay attention to what transpires. Try variations on each theme and notice where they take you. Explore and see what arises. Be your own scientist and observe what happens when you do it one way or another. Discover what works for you and then see if you can expand upon that. Try everything once or better yet, several times and attend to the results. Combine skills and notice how they enhance each other. Be creative and remember to play!

This is an excerpt from Sheri’s book, Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play and Practice.

Want more? Check out our free e-book Orgasmic Abundance!

Read Part One and Part Three for More Tips.

 OLC_Succulent_SexCraft_Website header_ProductAre you ready to have Sheri personally help you learn to play your own instrument with skill and passion?

You can do it in the comfort and privacy of your own home with Intimate Arts Online Education!

Join us for a 4-week deep dive into Succulent SexCraft: Supercharge Your OWN Pleasure for a lifetime of MORE!

Amplified arousal, easy orgasms, expanded orgasms and access to your own ecstasy awaits you!

 

Gervex - Woman Tossed by a Wave

The Elusive Female Orgasm: 3 Tips to Awesome Orgasm (Part 1)

/in , , , , , /by

Three Tips to Experience and Expand Female Orgasm

Orgasm is a learnable skill that every woman can acquire—and then expand upon.

Gervex - Woman Tossed by a Wave

Gervex – Woman Tossed by a Wave

Orgasm School?

Not having rip-roaring orgasms when you’d like to? Or at all? Don’t despair! Orgasm is a learnable skill —and every woman can become proficient at getting there. And if you already have your basic orgasm abilities down pat, you can use the same tools to expand your climax-ability.

Orgasm Challenges

Although sex is both natural and learned, for women, learning our path to orgasm is not always easy or natural. Just consider these statistics. Ten percent of women have never had one (yet!), while over half of women don’t have orgasms from intercourse, despite what you see in the wacky, unreal worlds of porn and romantic movies. Many if not most women are what I call “orgasm challenged”—sometimes they do, sometimes they don’t, and it’s a mystery why that is (or isn’t). So what’s a girl to do if she longs for delicious climaxes to her solo or partnered erotic experiences?

Relax–You Are NORMAL!

For starters, relax. There’s nothing wrong with you—these are simply skills you haven’t learned yet. That’s right: sexual abilities are learned, just like playing the piano, speaking French or any other complex set of skills. You can learn how to improve your orgasmic capacity if you want to. It will probably take some time, and you’ll definitely have to practice, but sooner or later you can be exclaiming, “Oui, oui, oui!” or “Whee, whee, whee!” Ultimately, the choice is yours.

Female Orgasm Basics 101

Unfortunately, in this world of ours it’s a lot easier to find someone to teach you French than it is to find a good orgasm class. Don’t despair! I’ll get you started right now on the basic class: Female Orgasm 101.

orgasmschoolbanner

1.      Slow Down and Take Your Time!

Since the average time spent in foreplay for couple sex is less than 10 minutes, we have one root cause of orgasmic issues right here. For most women full, deep and complete arousal can take up to 45 minutes. That’s right, 45 minutes! That amount of time is quite shocking to most people. When I present this info in a class there’s usually a moment of shocked silence. Then all the women give a big sigh of relief and suddenly light up with the understanding of why things may not work so well or how they’ve been engaging in erotic activities that they aren’t ready for—like intercourse. Our cultural models of arousal and orgasm are male-oriented, based on common patterns of men’s sexual responses. The male arousal pattern is of quick hot genitally-focused energy, leading to rapid erection. By contrast, for most women, most of the time, our erotic energy starts cool and diffuse and takes time to heat up and coalesce in our genitals. What’s the rush? Do you have something better to do than taking your time to get totally and utterly turned on?

Now, it is true that we women can learn how to enhance our arousal process and speed that curve up. In fact, everything I suggest below about learning to develop your own erotic mastery can help women get going faster. And everyone, both, men and women, can benefit from slowing down and taking enough time for both partners to get deeply and fully aroused.

2.      Breathe

Breath is basic. You don’t have to remember any complicated esoteric formulas or worry if you’re doing it wrong. You certainly won’t forget to do it at all. Breath happens—and, if you want your orgasms to happen and then to expand, all you need to do is enhance whatever your breath is already doing by itself. Just do a little more. Breathe a little faster, draw it in a little deeper, let it out a bit longer, or open your chest and belly more. Enhance your breathing and you’ll augment your arousal. Don’t hold your breath or let anxiety tighten it up. Breathe into your pleasure, breathe into your body, keep it moving and you can breathe yourself right into a nice juicy orgasm. Keep breathing into it and your climax will be bigger and better.

3.      Focus On Yourself

Yes, in this case it really is all about you. In order to get turned on, you need to connect to your own experience and feel your own pleasure. You can’t become a master musician only by playing duets. In order to become adept at playing your own instrument, you need to spend time doing solo practice. Yes: I did just tell you to go play with yourself. Solo sex is where you can pay attention to yourself without the distraction of another person’s needs, desires, expectations and demands. When focusing on your self-pleasure, you can discover what works for you and explore new pathways. Repeating behavior and action is how you learn. Like driving a car or playing a musical instrument, you need to practice to get good at any learned skills, including (and perhaps especially) sex. Then, just like playing the piano, when you get the learning practiced, automatic and embodied, you can let go of thinking and just let the music flow out of you.

That doesn’t mean you shouldn’t play with partners when appropriate and available. Go ahead — have fun with your playmates! However, if you want the most pleasure possible and the easiest access to your orgasms, you must also cultivate your own abilities, by yourself.

Now, go ahead and have some sweet sensuous succulent solo sex!

This is an excerpt from Sheri’s book, Succulent SexCraft: Your Hands-On Guide to Erotic Play and Practice.

Want more? Check out our free e-book Orgasmic Abundance!

Read Part Two for More Tips.

 OLC_Succulent_SexCraft_Website header_ProductAre you ready to have Sheri personally help you learn to play your own instrument with skill and passion?

You can do it in the comfort and privacy of your own home with Intimate Arts Online Education!

Join us for a 4-week deep dive into Succulent SexCraft: Supercharge Your OWN Pleasure for a lifetime of MORE!

Amplified arousal, easy orgasms, expanded orgasms and access to your own ecstasy awaits you!

 

Welcome to Sex 101

/in , , , /by

Sex 101: Learn Super Sex

Do you want to have fabulous, mind-blowing sex?
Here’s the key to having sex that exceeds your wildest fantasies.

Learning Sex

Want lessons in orgasmic abundance? Classes in accessing ecstasy? Perhaps a curriculum of the 3 C’s, climax, communication and connection? Could you benefit from innovative erotic education?

I Don’t Need No Stinkin’ Sex Classes (Ya Sure?)

Think not? After all, if all that sex stuff is natural and I’m fine the way I am, why would I wantSex Classes-Website Home Page Box Template-1 in square - round corners-light grayV2 to go to sex school? Even if you’re orgasmic and basically satisfied with your sex life, you can benefit from learning how to do it better.

I’m not talking about the basic sex education that you may or may not have gotten in school about how babies are made and how to keep microbial invaders away from your squishy bits. I’m talking about grown-up classes in how to become orgasmically proficient and share blissful waves of sexual energy with a partner.

There’s Always More to Learn

Certainly, if you have challenges with your orgasmic ability or your sexual connections, you may know that things could be better. Especially if you feel broken, inadequate or like you got gypped when they passed out the sexual goods, you may already believe you could benefit from studying the erotic arts.

Wherever you are in your sexual learning journey, you’re OK. So, please don’t be insulted or feel bad. I’m not saying that you aren’t already a sexy devil and dynamite in bed. However, everyone can benefit from learning how to become sexually adept and ultimately become your own expert. Even if you have good sex, even if you have lovely orgasms, your sexual experiences can be bigger, better and beyond belief. Do you doubt that?

The simple truth is that you learn sex, so to become truly proficient, you need to study, practice and learn. This isn’t a life requirement or relationship prerequisite. But, if you want to become a virtuoso of your own sexuality, enhance your erotic experiences and expand your abilities, then you need to learn how. And, the homework is really fun!

Luscious Lifelong Learning

Humans are learning instruments. You started learning the moment you were born, if not before. As a child, you absorbed information like a brainy sponge, sopping up morsels of culture. You developed skills and roles by playing endless games of imagination. To learn to walk, you creeped then crawled, than toddled. At first you were awkward and made mistakes, but when you fell down, you just got up and kept going, stumbling forward, tipping and tottering about. One day you walked, and soon you ran and danced and skipped, all with adept grace. Learning to walk came naturally.

More Bliss in Bed - Website Home Page Box Template-1 in square - round corners-light grayV2Later we learned harder things that didn’t come so easy, like reading and writing. While communication seems to utilize a natural, in-born human capacity for language, the more advanced technology of written language needs more formal discipline to learn.

Sex is like that. While our utterly natural impulses are based on a deep evolutionary template, we have the unique potential to develop our sexuality far beyond what Mother Nature offers other animals. Indeed, humans have become the most erotic of creatures, with an enormous component of our sexuality that is learned behavior. We learn sex, not just when we begin actually having it, but from the moment we’re born.

Sex Version 2.0

Like our computers, we come from the factory with hardware, wiring that cannot be modified. Yet, being human, with our big fancy new brains, a huge part of our sexuality is also software; the programming made up of our culture, upbringing and experience.

Luckily, this means your sexual software can be consciously re-patterned. If your old programming is buggy, it can be replaced. First you may need to overwrite limiting beliefs, inhibitions and defeating attitudes by un-learning these dysfunctional patterns. This frees you to learn new skills, importing innovative programming that expands your erotic capacities and allows you to access the full range of your sexual potential.

Sexual Skills Need to be Learned

You’ve already learned a lot about how to be sexual and how to “do it”, probably by the time-honored, hands-on method. There’s nothing wrong with the classic technique of fumbling about in the dark until things happen to happen. However, if you want to be a true sexual virtuoso, you’ll probably need to learn more than whatever it is you’ve discovered so far.

The idea that our sexuality is learned is the basis for the curriculum of classes that I teach. Sexual and relationship skills can be, and indeed, need to be learned if you want to excel.

Think of it like learning to play a musical instrument, speak a foreign language or develop an athletic skill. You may be naturally musical or athletic, but almost everyone will benefit from lessons. To become adept takes energy and attention, and true proficiency takes time and practice, practice, practice. Anyone and everyone can become skilled at making music, speaking French, or in the erotic arts, if they choose.

The Foundations of Erotic Education

All complex abilities start with acquiring basic skills, sex included. Your sexuality begins with your relationship with yourself and your basic skills begin here. You can’t expect to play fabulous duets if you don’t know how to play your own instrument. So, the foundational skills in sex are the techniques that focus on your abilities to play with your own sexuality. I call them “Solo-Skills”. By developing mastery over your own erotic instrument, your Self, you expand your ability to get turned on, achieve orgasmic proficiency, and gain easy access to ecstasy.

All of your sexual skills build on each other and become easier with practice as repetition causes patterns to become embedded pathways in our bodies and brains. Never forget that the largest, most vital sex organ is indeed, the brain. If you want to have the most wondrous sex possible, the place to start is by opening your mind to new ideas, possibilities and skills.

st-teresa-faceEach of you has the ability to learn and expand your response repertoire to increase your capacity for pleasure and ecstasy. Start out by realizing that you are responsible for your own pleasure, not your lover. Next, embark on a conscious learning journey to develop the techniques and skills that will make you the master of your own instrument.

And, don’t forget to practice! You may not get to Carnegie Hall, but you’ll be capable of sexual performances that will surely inspire standing ovations.

OLC_Succulent_SexCraft_Website header_Product
Are you ready to learn how to play your own instrument with skill and passion? Ready for amplified arousal, easy orgasms, expanded orgasms and access to your own ecstasy?

You can do it in the comfort and privacy of your own home with Intimate Arts Online Education!

Join us for a 4-week deep dive into Succulent SexCraft: Supercharge Your OWN Pleasure for a lifetime of MORE!