better orgasms – Page 2 – Intimate Arts Center

The Journal of Sexual Medicine’s recent issue states that “There is general agreement that it is possible to have an orgasm thru the direct simulation of the external clitoris. In contrast, the possibility of achieving climax during penetration has been controversial.” They include the opinions of six scientists with different experimental evidence debating the existence of the vaginally activated orgasm. Their conclusion? “The assumption that women may experience only the clitoral, external orgasm is not based on the best available scientific evidence.”

Really? Scientists are debating whether it’s possible for a woman to have an orgasm from vaginal stimulation? I hate to be snarky but ‘duh’. Of course it’s possible. Women having orgasms from vaginal penetration alone is’s just not what happens much of the time. The majority of women—more than half—don’t have orgasms with intercourse. Even for those that do, it’s not usually their first or easiest path to orgasm.

And, orgasm with intercourse is certainly not the only way or the right way. There is no one right way. There is a wide spectrum of orgasms people can have, and part of that variation definitely depends on what parts get stimulated, in what ways and for how long.

But here’s the thing. Woman can learn to have orgasms with intercourse—it’s a learnable skill. If a woman wants to learn how. It’s always important to remember that all of our erotic skills are options, not things any one has to do. And no one’s a failure or broken or not sexy if they haven’t yet learned how to have orgasms in any particular way.

So, I’d like to suggest we stop debating whether it’s possible and turn our attention to helping women learn lots of paths to orgasm and then learn to expand their pathways to include whatever activities they want in their repertoire.

Want More? Watch my Video Blog where I answer a woman’s question about How Can I Learn to Have Orgasms With Intercourse?

Your inner pelvic muscles are one of the keys to turning yourself on. When you squeeze and release them, you’re actually sexually playing with yourself without using your hands (or anyone else’s). The pelvic floor muscle layers form a sandwich with your erectile network in the middle, so that moving these muscles directly stimulates your engorgeable tissue.

During orgasm, these muscles rapidly and rhythmically contract and release, sending waves of pleasure through the pelvis — and, if you’re naturally lucky or have learned how, through the entire body.

You have both voluntary and involuntary control of these muscles. That is, you can let the muscles do their thing entirely on their own or, if you want to expand the experience, you can pump, pulsate or play with them as a unit or as separate sub-groups.

Whether you’re a man or a woman, you can use the pelvic floor muscles to initiate your turn-on or add fuel to your sexual fire. Working them stimulates the nerves and increases the blood flow to your pelvis, which increases your engorgement and erection (or herection). The pelvic floor also acts like an energy trampoline, bouncing the sexual energy up into the rest of your body.

Keeping these muscles toned is important for general pelvic health throughout a woman’s lifetime. They’re also the muscles used to birth a baby. Strong, flexible and skilled muscles can facilitate efficient labor (a good thing), support the natural processes (a very good thing), and even promote ecstatic birth (a great thing!). After childbirth, it is especially important to re-strengthen and tone these muscles. The pelvic floor muscles hold up the pelvic organs and keep gravity from having its way with a woman as she ages. For women with bladder control problems, a low or “dropped” uterus or “female” problems, or for anyone with constipation, strengthening these muscles can help enormously. And for women who wish to improve their sexual responsiveness, learning to work with these muscles is an all-important first step.

In fact, I’ll take this further: getting in touch with your pelvic floor muscles is the foundation to becoming an erotic virtuoso.

Tag Archive for: better orgasms

Are We Really Still Debating Vaginal Orgasm?

Mastering Your Inner Muscles – Pelvic Floor Muscle Magic!

Want more? Check out our free e-book Orgasmic Abundance!

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