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Resources & Home Play Assignments

Week One: Discovery

Text Resources

Yummy Books, Product Sources & Useful Websites
Female Anatomy & Female Ejaculation Resources
Lube Rules!
Peri-Menopausal & Post-Menopausal Allies

 Video Resources


Erectile Network - labels-color1- Female Organs & Structures- 3-4 View - labels

Pelvis - Bottom View - w- PFM -Color_ labels2_smaller image

Your Home Play Assignment(s)

Go On A Tour of Your Genitals

This week, the focus is on discovering and exploring your erectile network.

If you own these parts: Do it solo first.


  • Have at least one, ideally several solo sex genital tour sessions.
  • Be your own wonderful, slow, attuned lover.
  • Take your time.
  • When you’re done make some notes: what did you see and feel?

If you’re partnered, after you’ve done your solo tour, go on the tour again, this time sharing the journey with your partner(s).

Men: Be patient, awe-filled, appreciative, complimentary and genuinely positive about everything your partner shows you and shares with you.

Overview of Your Homeplay Assignment (excerpted from Women’s Anatomy of Arousal)

Guided Tour: Luscious Vulva (the following passages are all excerpted from Women’s Anatomy of Arousal)

Look and feel your yoni and see exactly what your beautiful flower looks like. Find your outer lips, inner lips, vaginal opening and urethral opening. Is it easy to see your pee-hole or is it hiding at the top of your vagina or in a fragile fold?

Check out your inner lips. Are they even? One color or a variety of shades? Notice how the texture changes as you move from the outer skin-covered lips to the inner mucus membrane-covered parts. Stroke the skin-covered parts and then the mucosa-covered parts and feel the difference. Study the colors, shapes and textures of your unique vulvar flower. Take time to appreciate your yoni’s unique beauty and her amazing pleasure potential!

Guided Tour: The Clitoris

Head and hood: Beginning in an un-aroused state, notice what your clitoral head looks like. Do you need to pull up on the hood to see it or does it show itself off? See how the lips attach and how your hood is formed. What happens when you tug at the lips—what else moves? as you do your homeplay, notice how your clit changes at different levels of arousal. See and feel it as it becomes bigger, brighter, darker. Note how far up it moves as you get more turned on. as you play with your clit, notice how you may want more or less contact and different kinds of stimulation at various stages of arousal.

Shaft: to find the shaft, place your fingers flat on top of the hood and feel the tubular structure beneath the skin. roll it back and forth. You may want to pause and appreciate the sensations as you roll it from side to side! Th is is a great move to get you started on the next phase of your home play by bringing you up to mid-level arousal.

Legs: You probably won’t be able to discern much of the legs of the clit as they’re commonly buried under too much tissue to be easily felt. at high-level arousal, you may be able to feel the top part of them. First fi nd the base of the clitoral shaft and then move your fingers slightly apart and feel under the skin. Th e top part of the two ropey legs may be palpable when you’re really hot and bothered.

Guided Tour: The Vestibular Bulbs

Look at the area around the opening of your yoni, under the outer and inner lips when you’re not turned on. place your fingers firmly on the skin on either side of your vaginal opening and press down, feeling through the skin and fatty tissue to the muscles and bulbs beneath them.

Start to rub your bulbs and you’ll feel them swell up under your fingers like the Pillsbury dough boy (or girl, in this case). explore the different ways you can rub, squeeze and stimulate them, discovering what inspires them to enlarge.

Do whatever works to move you through your arousal journey, including intermittently playing with your clitoris. But keep returning to your bulbs to appreciate their transformation. as you move through the three stages of your homeplay (not aroused, moderately so and very hot), you’ll discover just how big your hard-a-round can get!

When it’s really puffy, you can easily feel the shape of each bulb, which is fat at the bottom and thin as it proceeds up towards the clitoris. put one finger just inside your vagina and press toward the side to feel the rounded inner surface of the bulb. add another finger on the outer side of the outer lip and squeeze to feel the plump rounded shape of the lower half of each bulb. This is a great time to take a look in the mirror and notice how the whole shape of your vulva is altered by the blooming bulbs. enjoy!

Guided Tour: The Urethral Sponge (or Upper Sponge)

Begin by putting one or two of your fingers inside and exploring your yoni. Your vaginal canal is lined with moist mucus membrane. to find your urethral sponge, turn the pads of your fingers up, curl them and reach up, exploring the roof of your vagina. The mucosa there is somewhat rougher then the smooth slick surfaces of your walls and floor.

Remember as you go on your guided tour that this is erectile tissue that you’re feeling, so during stage one of your exploration, that is, in a completely unaroused state, it won’t feel like anything in particular. Since the urethral sponge surrounds the urethra, when you push against the non-puffed tissue, you’ll really be rubbing almost directly on your pee tube. it will probably make you feel like you need to pee. For most women, this is not an erotic sensation.

When you’re moderately aroused, feel it again. Notice the differences in size and sensation. it probably won’t feel irritating, but it may not feel great, either.
at this point, you may want to experiment with sponge play and see if you can feel it continue to swell under your fingers. Or, you may choose to return to pleasuring your clitoris and bulbs to bring you to high arousal.

Since this tissue is so deep inside, it’ll respond best during the third stage of your exploration. Sponge play during high-level arousal is most likely to make you go, “Oh, yeah, that’s what they’re talking about!”

When your groove tube is really big and puffed, you’ll be able to feel the whole two to three inch length of it. You’ll also notice its ridged or ribbed texture. if you separate your fingers a bit, you can run them along the gutters or sides of the tube. if you can reach in far enough, you’ll feel where it ends. When you play with it for a while, you may notice that it starts to feel like a wet sponge, as if it’s full of tiny fluid-filled grapes.

If you’re using a mirror, you can see some interesting sights. if you hold your vagina open and look inside with a light, you’ll see the roof bulging boldly down into your vaginal canal. You can also note the raised circular ring that’s the end of the tube surrounding the opening of your urethra.

Guided Tour: The Perineal Sponge (or Lower Sponge)

To find your perineal sponge, put your thumb inside your vagina and push down towards your butt. First, go in about one-half inch and feel, then go another half-inch in, and then try one more little step inside. Somewhere in that range, you’ll find your rear sponge. another way to feel your perineal sponge is to put your thumb in your pussy and a finger in your ass. as you bring the fingers together and proceed to move inward you’ll find a fat area—yup, that’s the spot! if you go in deeper, you’ll have passed the mark and find that the rest of the wall between the two canals is quite thin and flexible.

When you’re not aroused, you probably won’t feel much. At mid-level arousal, it will be slightly firmer and more sensitive. At high-level turn-on, it will be quite distinct as a firm spongy yummy place to play with.