Chapter 15: How To Be A SexCraft Virtuoso
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- Fire Breath Orgasm Meditation: Overview
- The Fire Breath Orgasm Meditation Practice
- Feast of the Senses Ritual: Partner Play
- Sensual Self-Pleasure Ritual (solo)
I’ve come across a variety of practices called Fire Breath Orgasm Meditation that apparently originate in a multiplicity of cultures. The fact that there are so many variations on the same theme suggests that different cultures were all tapping into the same techniques because they work. They all sense chakras (power vortices) in the body, associate the movement of fire energy with sexual juice, and connect us to our own power to open to the flow of ecstasy. Here’s my version.
Preparation: Review Seven Chakras from page 166. If you want to have music, create a soundtrack for your journey. I suggest wordless songs. It’s also okay to not have music and find your own rhythms. It’s alright to reverse the breath and PF muscle pattern, if that makes it easier for you.
Create a comfy spot for the experience. You can do this standing but if you’re going to go at it for a while, it may be easier to be lying, sitting or on your hands and knees. If you’re lying down, be on your back, with your knees up and feet flat on the floor. Don’t have a pillow under your head. It’s okay to have one under your knees if you need to. (Although it’s good if you can have enough room to allow your knees to open and close.) If you’re standing, have your feet about hip-width apart and, most importantly, keep your knees loose and unlocked. For hands and knees, make sure you have some cushioning under your knees. If you are sitting, have your spine straight and be in a position where you can rock your pelvis. You may start out standing, and then get down on the ground at some point.
If your hands are free, you can use them to direct the energy flow.
I encourage you to do this blindfolded. While you can also just close your eyes, the blindfold is a simple but powerful tool for turning your vision inward and keeping it there.
You’re envisioning energy running in a pattern that consists of a small circuit from one chakra to the one above, then a larger circuit connecting one chakra to the energy center that’s two levels up. Imagine that the small circuit draws up energy from the earth and circulates and connects it to the next chakra. Visualize the larger circuit as drawing sky energy from above and bringing it down into your body.
You’ll be using breath, sound, intention, imagery, and movements including rocking your hips, pumping your pelvic floor muscles (PFM). You can also use hand motions to orchestrate the energy dance. If you choose to include spirit in this, you can also connect to the sacredness of the earth and sky—the power of below and above—that connect and flow through your being. If you like to play with ritual elements, you may want to use some of your spiritual tools to create a sacred space, invoke deities, welcome in earth and sky, and open and close your container.
Start with a few calming, centering breaths. Take a long slow inhale (nose or mouth), then exhale through a loose mouth while squeezing your pelvic floor muscles. Inhale, with softly pursed lips and release your pelvic floor. Imagine that you’re breathing through your bottom, opening the end of your tube with your inhale and pushing the breath out by closing your PFMs on your exhale. (Or do the breath and PF pump with an inhale/squeeze and an exhale/release—whichever is easiest for you.)
Practice coordinating your breathing and PFM movement several times. As you breathe and pulse your inner muscles, start to also rock your hips, pivoting gently on your sacrum. You may allow your knees to slightly open and close with each pulse. Take a little time to find the rhythm and coordinate the different parts of the practice. As you breathe, pulse and rock, start adding sound to each breath. When you ‘have it,’ you’re ready to start the Fire Breath practice.
Begin each circuit with slow deep breaths.
First focus on juicing up the root chakra. Imagine your root filling with light, heat and color. For the root chakra, see red fiery light. Imagine it reaching all the way down to the magma core of the earth. Gradually deepen the breath and increase the pace. Keep getting faster. Work your way up to a rapid deep panting breath to really get the root chakra cooking.
Now switch to deep slow breaths to draw the energy up to the next area, the sex chakra.
Feel your genitals engorge with blood, filling and swelling. See them fill with hot orange light, buzzing with vibrations. Allow the orange light and erotic energy to fill the bowl of your pelvis and your whole lower belly.
Circulate the energy from the root chakra to your second chakra (lower belly and genitals) with a slow deep breath pattern that gradually becomes more rapid. Keep pulsing your muscles, rocking your hips and allowing sound to emerge with each exhale. Envision a circuit that runs from the root to the belly and back again. As you breathe, open your bottom to draw up earth energy into the root chakra and then circle it from the first to the second chakra. Exhale or inhale and tighten your PFMs to draw energy from the second back down to the first. You may orchestrate the motion by circling your hands just about your body.
Now do the bigger circuit, going from the first chakra (the root) up to the third (the solar plexus) and back down again. This time, envision drawing energy down from the sky and circulating it from the solar center down to the center of your bottom. Start slow and build up to a fast pace.
Use this same pattern for each circuit. Start with slow breathing and then gradually go faster, eventually building to a deep rapid panting breath. As you do the small circuit, pull earth energy up. As you do the larger circuit, draw sky energy down. Rock your pelvis, let your knees flutter. Keep your PF muscles pumping with your hands orchestrating the circuit. Make open–mouth sounds as you exhale. See images, colors and energy patterns. Use the color associated with each chakra or just see what color arises for you. Feel the vibrations. Tune in to the ecstatic feelings. Discover what enhances them. More movement? More open sounds? Bigger sound? Quieter ones? Play with whatever amplifies the sensations and increases your rapture.
Repeat the pattern until you’ve opened and connected each of your energy vortices. When you get to the top, the seventh chakra, feel the energy flow through your full body circuit, allowing it to stream up and down. Feel the power of the earth and sky moving through you. Allow yourself to open to the pleasure. Let it become ecstatic.
When you’re ready, allow the power to settle, slowly coming to quiet and stillness. You’ll probably feel the energy pulsing even more when you move into still awareness. Relax into the pleasure for as long as you like.
When you feel ready, start to come back into your body by wriggling your fingers and toes. You may want to stretch. You may want to curl into a ball and give yourself a fierce hug. Do whatever you need. When you’re ready, slowly sit up. Remove your blindfold or open your eyes. Take your time to re-enter the mundane world.
1-2 (small circuit) (Root to sex)
1-3 (large circuit) (root to stomach/solar plexis)
2-3 (small) (sex to S P)
2-4 (lg) (S P to heart)
3. Solar Plexis (S P or stomach)
3-4 (sm) (S P to heart)
3-5 (lg) (S P to Throat)
4-5 (heart to Throat
4-6 (heart to 3rd Eye)
5-6 (Throat to 3rd eye)
5-7 (Throat to Crown)
6. Third Eye
7. Crown-whole body circuit
Warm down and re-entry period.
A Feast of the Senses is a partnered ritual that provides an opportunity to learn to enhance your yang (or giving) skills and your yin (or receiving) skills while having a luscious time with a friend or beloved. This is a sexy, fun and beautiful practice to do as a ritual in your pleasure temple.
First gather a collection of items that make sounds, smell great, taste delicious (in small bite-size pieces), feel luscious and look beautiful. You’ll need a blindfold, a comfortable warm space and nice chunk of undisturbed time. A hand mirror will add a lovely touch at the end.
Do the practice in two parts. In the first part, one partner is the Giver and the other the Receiver. Then you’ll switch roles for the second half so each of you has the opportunity to explore both aspects of yourselves. The Receiver is practicing their yin skills of taking in, absorbing, allowing, and surrendering control. The Receiver’s job is to open completely and utterly soak up every bit of all the deliciousness. As the Receiver, you enhance your sensations by breathing deeply, staying present and making sounds of pleasure. The Yin person’s job includes giving fabulous non-verbal feedback to their Yang partner, demonstrating with sound and body language how much they like (or ideally love!) it and just how much pleasure they’re having. As the Receiver, you also get to give back to your Giver by being overt with your obvious and abundant non-verbal feedback and appreciation.
The person giving is in the Yang role. As the Giver, your job is to delight each of your partner’s senses. The Giver’s job is to be completely attentive to your partner, to give to them in the ways that will most delight, stimulate and heighten their senses.
To enhance your connection, attune your breathing and sounds to that of your receiver. Do your best to tease and tantalize, increasing your partner’s desire by any means possible. Part of the art of giving pleasure is the skill of inciting appetite and increasing desire. The yang person is driving their Yin partner to the finest heights of pleasure possible.
To begin, the Receiver gets completely comfortable and puts on the blindfold (or allows the Giver to blindfold you).
The Giver start with sound, then proceeds to use smell, taste, touch and sight.
Take your time and play with sound. (Don’t forget that you can include your whispers, moans and sweet somethings along with bells or chimes). Waft delicious scents under their nose, eventually allowing them a lick or nibble. Tease your partner with delicacies, delivered in creative and enticing fashion. Explore the wide menu of touch sensations with feathers and fur, skin and silk. Lastly, remove the blindfold, restoring your partner’s sense of vision, showing objects of beauty (including your shining face). Use a mirror to allow your Receiver to see their own beauty (we’re never more luscious than when in the throes of pleasure.)
After the first round, partners switch roles and the Giver becomes the Receiver and vice versa. Thus each person has the opportunity to experience complete surrender to pleasure and the joy of lovingly giving delight.
Most importantly, be loving, open and generous and have lots of fun! Be creative and play with pleasure!
Prepare for your ritual as you would if your favorite lover was coming over to spend time in your pleasure temple. Here, of course, you are prepping for your own delicious self. Create a safe and sacred space.
You can do this ritual with or without solo sexual play. I encourage you to try it both ways. Or do both in one date, beginning with non-sexual play and then having a second round with hands-on self-stimulation.
Set up your temple space by gathering pleasurable playthings. Include items for sensation play, beautiful things, succulent scents, sweet sounds and delightful delicacies. If solo sex play is on your agenda, you may also want to gather your favorite erotic toys. A hand mirror will allow you to see your own beauty. Put together a play list of songs that inspire and delight you.
A simple but very effective strategy for tuning in to your own experience is to use a blindfold. You can also just close your eyes. Before you start, make sure everything can be easily reached.
Now you’re all set up for a sensual session in your sumptuous solo temple. Start your music and put on your blindfold or close your eyes. Start by just focusing on the sounds. Breathe it in. Sing along (or chant or hum).
Next, play with smell. You may want to let the music play on in the background or you might want to turn it off to attend to your other senses. Your choice, as always.
Breathing in sweet scents is a great way to deepen respiration while exquisitely attuning to odor. Notice what happens when you do it silently and the difference if you allow sounds of pleasure to emerge. If you’re smelling food items, notice how the smell may make you long for the chocolate, how the scent of the ripe fruity primes you for the bite of mango and how it stimulates desire to get a whiff of the wine. Don’t give in yet to that longing. Allow your desire to build!
When you really, really want it, give yourself a little lick of one of the food bitlets. Discover how slowly you can eat a piece of chocolate. Explore the textures of a melon slice. Notice how a single crunchy salty chip stimulates different parts of your tongue. Slowly swish a sip of juice in your mouth. Take your time with each tasty tidbit. Slowly savor every bit. Lick your lips! Play with sounds of pleasure. ‘Ummm’ and ‘ooooo,’ sigh and slurp. Since sound amplifies sensation, see if you can increase your oral enjoyment with exclamations!
An easy way to move to touch is to start by lovingly licking your fingers. Use your own body to explore sensation. Trace your lips with a fingertip, slide the back of your hand against your silky or stubbly cheek. Slowly drag your fingernails along your thigh, massage your feet, slide one foot along your other leg. Tenderly stroke your hair. Feel the heat of your skin. Notice the luscious textures, voluptuous sensations and subtle sweetness. Feel how alive your body is, how soft and firm, how rough and smooth you are. Discover and delight in the many ways you can touch yourself, both giving and receiving the pleasure.
Now add the sensations of other items to the game. Slide a piece of silk along your belly. Feather your forearm. Roll a tennis ball under your back. Loofah your soles. Rub fur on your face.
Naturally, enhance all of this bliss by attuning your awareness with your breath, amplifying with pleasure sounds, enhancing with attention and allowing your enjoyment to move through you.
If you’re including solo sex play, take your time before you include your sexy bits in the game. But when you do, tune in to the many delicious ways you can touch yourself and the many delightful sensations you can elicit from your most sensitive parts. Be a fantastic lover to yourself. Sweetly stroke your thighs, rub your tummy, discover the soft sensations as you delicately brush your fingertips against your smooth skin. Add some massage oil and play with the different sensations of your slick self.
Bring your favorite tools to the pleasure play. Rock your hips, pulse your pelvic floor, let your body shiver and shake with sensations. Tune into the tingles and turn on the throbs. Touch, tease and tantalize. Take your time. Orgasm is optional, but if you’re going for it, use everything you’ve got to ramp it up and roll it out … and out … and further and further and further out.
Bask in the glow. Be like a sleepy cat in the sun and just BE. (Don’t rush this part!) Luxuriate! Slowly stretch and feel how good you feel.
When you’re ready, remove your blindfold and open your eyes. Look. Appreciate the sights, colors, contours—all the gifts of vision. Delight in the beauty of a flower, the astonishing blue sky or the luminous moon. Look upon your own shining face in a mirror—gazing lovingly at your own beauty.
Appreciate the gift of all of your senses and your abilities to give and receive pleasure. Appreciate all of the inner tools and skills that are yours—easily accessible anytime, to enhance your ecstasy and bring you bliss.
Complete your ritual by taking at least three conscious, deep breaths. Inhale slowly and fully, then exhale with a appreciative sigh.