Libido Lost & Found

Resources & Home Play Assignments:
Week One

RESOURCES

 HOME PLAY ASSIGNMENTS
Get to the Root Causes

Journal or ponder the roots of the current state of your libido. Identify the ones that seem to be your main issues and causes. Here’s a list of possibilities:

  • Specific time of life or life circumstances
    • Post-partum, breastfeeding
    • Post-menopause
    • High stress
    • Other
  • Physical health:
    • Pain
    • Fatigue & exhaustion
    • Other
  • Medication-related
  • History of trauma
  • Lifestyle
    • Nutritional deficiencies or issues
    • Sedentary lifestyle
    • Other
  • Mental health (This is also physical, emotional, etc)
    • Depression
    • Anxiety
    • Other
  • Self-Image/Self-Love issues
    • Body Image
    • Worthiness
    • Stories & beliefs
  • Relationship Issues
  • Other (Anything else)

Create a Pleasure List

Make a list of things that you can do for (and with) yourself that give you pleasure. Include things that you can do in a few minutes, that require a medium chunk of time, and that need a leisurely time span. Include things that are free (although luxuries that cost money are okay, too).

Put your list where you’ll see it. Add to it as you discover new ways to nurture, love and pleasure yourself.

Take regular pleasure breaks during your day and do something on your list. Or, start your day by doing something that makes you feel good and happy. Conclude your evening with another pleasurable action or activity.

Suggestions: Sing a song. Make a piece of art. Read. Stretch. Dance. Have orgasms. Do orgasmic breathing. Take a hot scented bath by candlelight. Listen to the birds. Pat your pet (your four-footed one, not your genital one). Drink water. Get and give massage. Take three deep slow breaths. Listen to music. Take a walk in nature. Chocolate! Mangos!

Don’t limit yourself to this list—do what brings you pleasure.

Make pleasure a habit. And a practice.

Nourish Your Energy

  • Get enough sleep
  • Rest
  • Eat nourishing food when you’re hungry.
  • Lighten your schedule. Say ‘no’ to doing more. Do less.

Have Solo Sex Sessions:

  • Go into arousal, minimum 5- 10 minutes/day.
  • Have orgasms if you can. How many? Aim for minimum of 1/day, or 7/week.

Partner Sex

If you are partnered and you feel like your partner is supportive and non-pressuring, discuss these options:

  • Have partner sex sessions only if you fully choose to.
  • Have intimacy sessions where sex is off the table. (That means all erotic activities, not just intercourse.)

If you are partnered and don’t feel supported by your partner, consider getting counseling or other help to start having conversations about what a supportive partner looks like to you and to discover if your partner can be that for you.

Get Help

Consider getting more help and support if you’re dealing with physical, mental or relationship issues or in healing traumatic history.

You can also explore the resources for books about particular topics.

Share Your Journey

If you are partnered: (as always, this is optional)

  • Share with your partner about your experiences.

If you aren’t partnered or choose not to share with your intimate partner(s):
(as always, this is optional)

  • Share with a friend about your experiences.

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