Women’s Anatomy of Arousal

Resources & Home Play Assignments

Week One: Old Maps and New—Integral Pleasure Parts

Text Resources

Review these resources and blog posts

Video Resources

Solo Sex

Your Home Play Assignment(s)

Go On Your Own Tour: Do It Solo

Women: Have several solo sex sessions, being your own wonderful, slow, attuned lover and going on your tour solo. Take your time.

Setting the stage: What you’ll need:

Time, space and privacy
Comfort and warmth
Light (preferably free-standing, bendable neck lamp)
Mirror (preferably magnifying)
Your favorite sex toy(s) and lubricant
Courage (the antidote to fear)
Curiosity (it won’t kill your pussycat—it will awaken her.
Permission (you have to give it to yourself)
Optional:
- Plastic speculum
- Drawing material
- Notebook and journal
- Camera

When you’re ready to begin:

Self-pleasure with solo sex (and/or other ways!)
Do it! Take time for yourself, by yourself.
Set up so you can see and feel the changes.
Start by looking at all your external genital parts in a state of non-arousal. Feel everything you can see. Notice the sensations.
Play with yourself (have solo sex):
- Close your eyes. Go inside.
- Attend and attune to your sensations. Focus on pleasure and arousal.
- Play with self-touch. Be creative and have fun. Let pleasure and exploration be your guides.
Stop at mid-level arousal and look again. Feel everything you can see. Notice the sensations.
Play some more. Get to high-level deep arousal. Stop. Look, feel, notice.
Appreciate!!!
When you’re done, make some notes. What did you see and feel?

After you’ve done your solo tour, go on the tour again, this time sharing your journey with your partner(s).

Men: Be patient, awe-filled, appreciative, complimentary and genuinely positive about everything your partner shows you and shares with you.

[The following material is excerpted from Women’s Anatomy of Arousal.]

Goddess Guide: Claim Your Sacred Temple

To make your experience a spiritual journey, you can do your homeplay as a ritual. Do whatever inspires a sense of the sacred for you.

Consider preceding the tour with a ritual candle-lit bath scented with essential oils. You may want to create a sacred space by lighting candles and incense. Surround your bed with flowers. Place special objects around you. Put on music that inspires you.

You can recite self-love mantras as you discover and venerate each wondrous part of your sacred anatomy. Utter affirmations of delight as you explore and connect with each amazing aspect. Some examples: “My yoni works wonderfully.” “My pussy looks beautiful and smells delicious.” “My clitoris is a sensitive jewel.” (Or how about, “My anus is a holy hole?” Laughter is sacred, too!)

You can intersperse your tour with chants or sacred songs. Take time to practice ecstatic breathing. Draw a picture or take photos, then place them on an altar honoring your yoni.

If you feel so inclined, say words of protection or healing. You are, after all, the guardian of your gate. She needs to trust you to protect her. (If she doesn’t, you may find yourself getting infections or having pain or other problems as she takes over the role of guardian.)

If you’re a survivor of abuse, a commitment to being a fierce guardian of your gate is especially important.

If you have ever allowed anyone entry when it didn’t feel right or good, consider making a vow to your yoni. What does she need to hear? Quite possibly this: “I will never allow anyone to enter you unless it feels great, unless all of me wants it, unless it’s safe.” Repeat as needed!

When you’re done, you may want to journal or make art about your experience.

Hot Tips for Guys: To Get a Sex Goddess in Your Bed, Treat Her Like One

You are a lucky man to get to do your homeplay with this woman. Appreciate your partner’s willingness to share this intimate journey.

Make a ritual of discovering your female friend’s genitals. Honor her most delicate parts. Anoint her with coconut oil. Learn Tantric yoni massage and give her the gift of non-sexual pussy love.

Offer her worshipful adoration. Say mantras and affirmations of love, appreciation and positive regard such as, “I love all of you,” “I delight in your beautiful yoni,” “Your pussy is gorgeous,” and “I love your scent.” Women need oodles of positive pussy praise to get over our cultural messages of shame and disgust. Pile on the yoni worship!

Sit and gaze adoringly at her yoni. Bring it (and her) flowers. Place your hands over the entire area and send love energy into her as she breathes it in.

Ask before entering. Say “please.” And remember: A heartfelt “thank you” is always appreciated!

Guided Tour (The Luscious Vulva)

Look at and feel your yoni and see exactly what your beautiful flower looks like. Find your outer lips, inner lips, vaginal opening and urethral opening. Is it easy to see your pee-hole or is it hiding at the top of your vagina or in a fragile fold?

Check out your inner lips. Are they even? One color or a variety of shades? Notice how the texture changes as you move from the outer skin-covered lips to the inner mucus membrane-covered parts. Stroke the skin-covered parts and then the mucosa-covered parts and feel the difference. Study the colors, shapes and textures of your unique vulvar flower. Take time to appreciate your yoni’s unique beauty and her amazing pleasure potential!

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