1The Fine Art of Female Orgasm

Resources & Home Play Assignments

Week Three: Becoming Unstoppable

Text Resources: Week 3

Play with Yourself (But Don’t Masturbate)
This Is Your Brain on Sex
Sexual Breathing: An Easy Way to Play With Your Pleasure
Resources for Healing, Recovery & Acceptance

Video Resources: Week 3

 Your Home Play Assignments: Week Three

Practice Self-Love:

  • Make commitments to yourself and keep them.
  • Make dates with yourself and keep them.
  • Practice Courage. Gently and self-lovingly choose to stretch through a place where you previously haven’t gone. Whether it’s to make sounds, try a sex toy, take more time in your solo sex, have forbidden fantasy or explore your body in a new way, do SOMETHING NEW and outside your former safe boundaries.

In Your Solo Sex Sessions: Practice Awareness:

  • Notice what’s happening, especially sensations, thoughts, feelings.
  • Especially note what challenges you and what stops you. Write down the common thoughts and stories that arise for you.
  • Journal or make notes.

Rewriting Your Inner Narrative: Three Positives

We all have a negative interior soundtrack of criticism, nagging doubt and self-limitation, often and especially about sex. It can be re-written! Here’s how:

  1. First, bring it into the light of your awareness. Start to pay attention and really hear what your inner critic is dumping on you.
  2. Choose one ‘stopper’. Write it out.
  3. Write out at least three ‘positives’. Make them simple, clear, positive, self-affirming statements in the present tense.
  4. Notice when that ‘stopper thought’ comes up. Answer that judgmental voice, not by negating it but by expressing positive affirmations. Say your three ‘positives’. Repeat. (Answer each self-sabotaging comment with a minimum of at least three responses as it takes that many messages to get past our internal negating gates.)
  5. Repeat with another stopper thought or belief.
  6. Be patient. It takes a while for the negative voices to become less intrusive. Repeat this practice often and you’ll gradually reprogram yourself.
  7. While you can do this practice at any time, it will be most powerful for rewriting your inner scripts if you do it during erotic trance (that is during arousal and with orgasm).

Practice Positive Intentions

  • Write out at least three positive, self-loving intentions.
  • Frequent repetition is key to shifting your inner messages so you may want to put your intentions someplace where you’ll frequently see them, like your bathroom mirror or your screen saver. You can say them aloud every morning or before you go to sleep (or both.)
  • You can also create some sort of picture, collage, altar or artifact that symbolizes your intent.
  • Do an Intention Practice. Start by taking a few deep breaths. Repeat an intention to yourself several times as you breathe and center yourself. Give yourself time to envision and focus on your purpose. If you’ve created a physical manifestation, concentrate on looking at and focusing on it.
  • While you can use repeating your intentions at any time, they will become more powerful if you focus on them while in your altered state of erotic trance. Start by focusing on your intentions. Then enjoy some sex play. During your erotic session, pause periodically to re-focus on your intentions. It’s especially powerful if you can focus on your intentions as you orgasm. When you’ve finished, take a moment to notice how having clear and focused intentions altered your experience.
  • Try different intentions during subsequent solo-sex sessions and see what happens.

Sexy Guided Visualization

This erotic practice can be done with or without a hands-on-your-sexy-bits component.

First, decide on the theme.

If you choose, you can write it out. If an actual script is involved, you might want to read it aloud into a tape recorder, then play it back while you just sit back and listen. Or read the script through a few times until you have the gist of it and can play it out in your mind.

Create an environment that makes it easy for you to relax and focus. Turn off phones and create a space where you’ll be undisturbed. Get comfortable. Wear a blindfold if you choose. If you’re combining your journey with sexual arousal, have what you’ll need to get you going nearby. (Lube? Vibrator?)

Begin with deep slow breathing, using your breath to down-regulate and get relaxed.

Start your imaginary journey. Live into the script as deeply as you can. Try to embroider your imaginings by using all your senses—make it as vivid and real as possible.

If you’re using erotic trance to enhance your imaginary experience, pleasure yourself as you like, intermittently weaving it into your story.

Here are a few examples of possible storylines for your guided visualization journeys:

  • Experiencing a loving sexual-healing session where you’re in a sacred space where your self-pleasuring is safe, loving and celebrated.
  • Going to a sacred sex temple and meeting an erotic priest/ess who provides a sexual healing experience perfectly crafted for your needs.

When you’ve completed your visualization, take some time to relax and bask in the glow before re-entering the ‘regular’ world.

If you’re journaling, write down where you went and what happened. If you’re making art, record images from your journey.

Sharing

If you are partnered: (as always, this is optional)

  • Share with your partner about your experiences.

If you aren’t partnered or choose not to share with your intimate partner(s) (as always, this is optional):

  • Share with a friend about your experiences.

Beyond the class sessions:

  • Journal
  • Do your Home Play.
  • Run lots of experiments
  • Read.
  • Watch videos.
  • Become a community. Share & support each other

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