Discover the Source of Female Ejaculation — The Urethral Sponge and the Paraurethral Glands

In ancient India, female ejaculate was known as sacred Amrita or the Nectar of Life. In Traditional Chinese Medicine, it’s called White Moon Flower Medicine. Western science is beginning to catch up with this ancient wisdom, but while there is more research then previously, we still lack a consensus about the existence of many of the structures that make up the whole female genitalia and the process of female ejaculation.

Women have a network of interconnected structures that are all made of erectile tissue. I call it the Erectile Network. The Erectile Network is a matrix of structures that includes all three parts of the clitoris, the paired vestibular bulbs, the perineal sponge and the urethral sponge. Women can become aroused and orgasmic by stimulating any of these structures (or in many other non-genital ways as well) but, in general the best arousal and orgasms happen when all of these structures are thoroughly stimulated.

Pound for pound, inch for inch the female Erectile Network contains the same amount of erectile tissue as a penis. Erectile tissue is mostly composed of erectile capillaries, which are tiny specialized blood vessels that have the capacity to fill with blood. This is engorgement which is what causes erectile tissue to swell, become harder and more sensitive.

One of the structures in the network is the urethral sponge (aka the female prostate since it’s analogous to the male prostate). The urethral sponge is a tube that surrounds the tube of the urethra – think of it like a roll of paper towels surrounding the inner cardboard tube. It’s located above the roof of the vagina. The bottom of the tube is what is currently being referred to as the G-Spot.

The urethral sponge is comprised of both erectile and glandular tissue. The glands are the Paraurethral Glands (aka the Skene’s Glands). They’re tiny tubular structures that are enmeshed in the erectile capillaries — think of them like the hair roots of a plant threaded throughout the soil of the erectile tissue. The tubular glands end in about thirty openings along the urethra, with two slightly larger ducts just inside or just outside the urethral orifice. In other words, the glandular tubules empty into the urethral canal. In some women, there are additional openings along the sides of the vaginal vestibule.

These glands are the source of female ejaculate. The fluid originates in the circulatory system. The watery part of the blood, the plasma diffuses through the wall of the capillaries, enters the glandular tubule, mixes with the products of the gland and then emerges into the urethra. From there it can either emerge from the urethral opening or back-up into the bladder.

Female ejaculation is the expulsion of that fluid in a drip, gush or squirt. It can be a few drops, a small puddle or a huge flood. In fact, since the original source of the liquid is the circulatory system, there’s a huge fluid reservoir and women can continue to make fluid and have repeated and profuse amounts of ejaculate.

Women may squirt once or repeatedly, occasionally, sometimes, frequently, or always. Female ejaculation doesn’t always accompany orgasm. It can happen with high level arousal although for many women it does commonly happen with orgasm.

Ejaculate is not urine, although it spurts out from the urethra. That’s the same hole pee comes out of, so it’s understandable that people might think it’s urine. But it’s not yellow, doesn’t smell like pee, doesn’t have the same chemical make-up as urine (no urea, no nitric acid). That’s because it’s not urine and doesn’t originate from the bladder. The fluid does contain Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA) and Prostatic Acid Phosphatase just as the male prostate fluid does.

Is it the same as vaginal lubrication? No. vaginal lubrication comes from the inner walls of the vagina and it’s slick and slippery. Ejaculate comes from the paraurethral glands, emerges from the urethral opening and it’s watery.

While some women are natural ejaculators, it’s a learnable skill and any woman can learn to do it. To see images of these structures and learn more about all the parts that women really have and the amazing things they can do, I invite you to read my book Women’s Anatomy of Arousal — Secret Maps to Buried Pleasure or watch the online classes: The Fountain of the Goddess – The Learnable Art of Female Ejaculation and Secrets of Female Pleasure— Women’s Anatomy of Arousal.

Posted in Blog, Genital Anatomy, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Correcting The Orgasmic Record

Gervex - Woman Tossed by a Wave

Gervex – Woman Tossed by a Wave

When the Strange Sex Ms. Orgasm episode, featuring me aired, I was surprised that they had invented two “facts”.

The 1st invention was that I claimed to have estimated my lifetime orgasm total as 15,000. Really? Whoa! I never said that. In fact, they never asked me that question, nor have I been counting. Seriously, who has been racking up a lifetime orgasm estimate?

Still, once the episode was broadcast, I decided to think about what a more realistic estimate would be. So, here goes my best guesstimate. Let’s see … I’ve been having sex for about 40 years. Including both solo and partnered encounters, I’ll guess that I’ve had a sex session about 4 times a week. For simplicity’s sake, let’s say 50 weeks per year. So that’s about 200 sex sessions per year. Figure that each sex session includes an average of 10 orgasms. (That accounts for my less orgasmic younger years where 3 was a great night and the more multi & mega later years, where one or two or three dozen is common, so an average of 10 makes sense.) So, let’s do the math. 4 times a week, times 50 weeks, times an average of 10 orgasms for 40 years, equals 80,000! Cool!

The 2nd “fact” was that my record for non-genital orgasms was five in a day! Now that’s just silly since over the three days of filming, they must have recorded me having dozens and dozens. I can have an orgasm in three breaths, (you can see the little educational Three Breath Orgasm video here) and I can have way more than five in five minutes. Frankly, I can’t even begin to guess my maximum or my all time record.

It would depend how you count anyway. Are we only including hands-off experiences or all orgasms achieved without direct genital stimulation included? Does a five minute orgasm with ten peaks count as one or ten? I give up on this. Counting orgasms is just silly anyway. Fantastic sex is about so much more than orgasm, anyway. And expanded orgasms are about so much more than numbers. Is there really any point to quantifying bliss? I don’t think so. For me, it’s not about my personal abilities anyway. For me, this is all about inspiring and educating you and everyone to be able to have multi-mega-orgasmic experiences. Then questions of ‘how many’ evaporate from our culture to be replaced by discussions and teachings about how to connect to pleasure, to access ecstasy and expand orgasms. And that is a land without numbers.

And, just a reminder – no one sprinkled orgasm dust on me – I learned how to do this and so can you!

Posted in Blog, In The News, Sexy Skills | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Ms. Orgasm Responds

Hi, Sheri Winston here. Ms. Orgasm, as they dubbed me on Strange Sex.

To clarify: I never claimed to have had 15,000 orgasms in my lifetime or ‘with the power of my mind’. They made that up. Nor did I say that my record for non-genital orgasms was five in a day. That’s just silly. And, seriously, who’s counting? (Though if I was, the number would be considerably  higher!) I guess the folks at Strange Sex felt they needed to add this as part of their branding script, but it had nothing to do with me. In fact, adding such meaningless invented statistics betrays a serious lack of understanding of what orgasms are all about—both genital and non-genital. People’s orgasmic potential is virtually unlimited: an orgasm can last an hour or more, and people can have dozens or even hundreds of orgasms in a day. Orgasms can be the result of direct genital stimulation, non-genital play or completely hands-off responses. There’s an enormous and varied realm of orgasmic experiences.

It is true that I’ve had an amazing abundance of orgasms in my life. But it’s not that I was blessed by the orgasm fairy at birth or have really, really great sex karma. These are all things that I learned to do. And the point isn’t even really what abilities I’ve cultivated. The important point is that anyone who wants to can learn these skills as well.

I consented to appear on Strange Sex not because I took any particular pleasure in exhibiting my orgasmic capabilities to the world (despite the evidence, I’m actually a pretty private person!), but because it’s part of my mission as a sex teacher to let people know that they have extraordinary erotic potential, far more than most people imagine.

I’ve learned to develop my spectacular orgasmic abilities through decades of practice. By that, I mean both through personal sexual practice, as well as in my professional practice. OK, get a grip, I don’t mean as a sex worker—I mean as a nurse-midwife and childbirth educator for over two decades and then as a sex teacher for more than a dozen years. It may surprise you to learn that all the skills that help women have wonderful births are the same as those that lead to spectacular sex. But it’s true! That’s how I got my start in learning to expand my erotic abilities—teaching women how to use their mind, body, heart and spirit to maximize their chances of having a natural, empowering and even ecstatic birth.

Here’s the key point, though. Anyone who wants to can expand their ability to get intensely aroused, have awesome orgasms and develop erotic mastery. You see, for us humans, sex is both natural and learned. Yes, we learn sex! It’s just like learning to play an instrument or speak another language—a set of complex intertwined skills that build on a natural inherent framework. Except that it’s easier to find someone to teach you piano or take French classes than it is to find someone to teach you how to have amazing connection with your own sexual energy (and with others, if you choose).

While the TLC show focused on non-genital orgasms, that’s just a small piece of what it’s possible to learn to experience. Even in the non-genital orgasm category, there are a variety of learnable experiences, including hands-off orgasms (sometimes referred to as ‘thinking off’) as well as orgasms through stimulation of non-genital body parts. In fact, some people who are para- or quadriplegics have learned to have orgasms from stimulation of their fingers or mouth—a testament to the plasticity of the human brain and the ability to learn.

If you doubt this, I have a question for you. Have you ever had an orgasm in your dreams? If so, you’ve had a non-genital orgasm!

As for whether I’m faking it or not, I have two responses. If you’re looking for data, check out the experiments being done at Rutgers University by Whipple, Komisaruk and Wise, using an MRI to document the ability to ‘think off’ and demonstrating that in terms of physiological response, it’s no different than the traditional genitally stimulated orgasm.

My second response though, may be more to the point. You don’t need to believe me. In fact, I urge you to be skeptical of all official experts, including me. Become your own expert. Check it out for yourself. If you really want to know what’s possible, experiment with various techniques, play and practice, and discover your own abilities. Find the way to connect with and expand your own pleasure pathways.
Discover for yourself how to expand your turn-on and amp up your orgasmic abilities.

You can learn how to respond to a wider range of stimuli, to have extended orgasms or non-genital orgasms. You can go for total erotic virtuosity. Or not. It’s up to you. For most people, non-genital orgasms are an advanced skill that will take years of practice, although there are always those who are very quick learners!

Please do remember though, there’s no right or wrong way. There’s only what works for you. It’s not a competitive sport or more things on your overcrowded to-do list. It’s play. Sexy, sacred, awesome, ecstatic, sweaty, sweet play. Whatever you do, focus on the pleasure and whatever enhances the connection to yourself and your partners. And, some day you may surprise yourself, when without direct genital play, your sexual energy explodes in a wild and wonderful way. Then you’ll know that all sorts of orgasm are possible and you can have what I’m having.

Posted in Blog, In The News, Sexy Skills | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Non-Genital Orgasms: Question & Answer

Illustration - Baruffi - Woman on Wave

Baruffi - Woman on Wave

My “Ms Orgasm” segment on TLC’s Strange Sex is about my ability to have (and teach others to have) hands-off orgasms. That’s led to some questions, one of which I want to answer here.

NGOs? What do non-governmental organizations have to do with sex? Oh, you mean non-genital orgasms! Oh, well, that I get!

But not everyone will understand this phrase. Having been dubbed Ms. Orgasm for my segment on TLC’s Strange Sex show, I’ve been getting some good questions from folks about what an NGO is. So here goes!

Question: Clarify please: an NGO means no genital stimulation is required to arouse an orgasm but the genitals are still affected? Yes? No?

Great question! A variety of experiences fall into the non-genital orgasm category. It includes having orgasms from stimulation of other body parts. The easiest to learn/experience are parts like nipples, nape of the neck, fingers and mouth as these have hard-wired connected pathways to the genitals. Also included is the ability to have what I call ‘hands-off’ orgasms. Some people call it ‘thinking off.’ These are orgasms that result from using inner pathways and usually utilize breath, sound, intention, imagery, movement and sound. That’s what I was doing on the show.

The key to all of it is that these are LEARNABLE skills for anyone and everyone who wants to learn. NGO skills tend to be advanced abilities that take some practice and training, although some folks can just ‘get it’ and off they go. (Or come.)

By the way, this is for both solo and partnered folks. You can learn to do these things by yourself or with a friend or friends!

And, finally, yes the genitals are affected, though in varying degrees. Men can have experiences that do or don’t involve erection (which is NOT required for orgasm). For women, there is generally lubrication and engorgement, although again it may or may not be to the degree attained with direct stimulation.

MRI studies of ‘thinking off’ demonstrated that in terms of physiological response, NGOs are no different than the traditional genitally stimulated orgasm.

I hope that answers your questions. Please let me know if you have more.

Posted in Ask the Sex Teacher Anything, Blog, In The News, Sexy Skills | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Mini-Mouse Meets Super-Rodent: The Paradox of Fighting

Here’s a myth for you, courtesy of a recent dream I had.

I’ve got a rodent problem.  A really big rodent problem. There’s this critter roaming around and it’s not just a nuisance, it’s a menace. Standing on its hind legs, as it is wont to do, it’s four or five feet tall, maybe more. It’s got a nasty set of teeth and a nastier disposition. This is a supernatural creature, come from the Dark Side to do me evil.

I’m going to have to kill it. I don’t have an appetite for the hunt nor am I especially afraid, even though this is a menacing rival. I’ve got a job to do and I’ll do it.

I have a nail gun and take dead aim. The Mickie-Monster ducks and disappears. Clever bastard.

The hunt continues. I have to get him before he gets me and my family.

I’m in a warehouse that’s empty except for some debris in the middle of the room. A workman gestures surreptitiously toward the pile of stuff: the super-rodent is hiding behind it. I’m not sure how this is possible because the debris isn’t more than three feet high and the killer critter is bigger. But hey, if he’s there he’s there. Not mine to question.

I approach the pile, aiming to flush him out. And like a flash, there he is! Only he’s not a super-rodent, he’s a tiny little mouse and he’s scampering super-fast across the floor.

I’m not surprised. Supernatural creatures can change their physical appearance as circumstances warrant. It’s part of their arsenal.

I know something else, too. Just because he’s turned into this tiny, vulnerable thing doesn’t make him any less dangerous. I have something big and heavy in my hands, maybe an oversized air conditioner. I raise it high over my head and, as the tiny creature scampers by, bring it crashing down.

I’m not sure I got him: he was moving so fast he might have gotten past me and away. My partner Sheri is next to me now. I gingerly turn over the air conditioner to see what, if anything, is underneath. And yes, I got him. The mini-mouse is there in mini-mouse form, an almost unrecognizable mass of blood and squashed fur.

The super-rodent has been terminated with extreme prejudice.

I look at that tiny, helpless, bloody corpse and wonder, as I can tell Sheri is wondering too, if that much violence was really necessary. It’s not that I did anything wrong: this was a supernatural super-rodent, and if I hadn’t killed it it would killed me and maybe Sheri, too. Yet I look down at the results of my “appropriate response” and am left with only questions, and sadness.

And now, back to our waking life and the thoughts that come with it. Who among us, when threatened and enraged, hasn’t become a super-rodent? What is the appropriate level of force to use when doing battle with the super-rodents in our lives, whether that’s an intimate partner or a business partner or some bozo in a bar? Enough to defeat the creature, surely, and yet every super-rodent is also a tiny, vulnerable mouse, and so that same level of force is also wildly excessive.

There are no right answers here, only paradox. Shapeshifters are we, and this makes our choices complicated.

It’s been said that the gods laugh at us, and maybe they do. I can’t be sure, though, because all I can see is the masks they wear. The mask of the Innocent. The mask of the Killer. Our reflections in the mirror.

How hopeless it is, how quixotic, to search for right and wrong in a trickster world run by other rules than reason! It isn’t the gods themselves, but the faces of the gods—the masks of the gods—that are laughing at us—laughing uproariously!—as we miss the point entirely. We practice what feels like necessary violence, then seek to justify ourselves with thoughts of righteousness and justice (“I had no choice,” “he deserved it”) when the only axis that matters, the only axis that truly makes sense, revolves around compassion and forgiveness.

Posted in Blog, Relationships | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Samples of Succulent SexCraft Video Mini-Classes

Watch the Video Mini-Classes

I’m playing with little video mini-classes to give you samples of what the next book will have to offer. They’re in the Learning Center, on the Video page, in the Presentation section.

Succulent Sexcraft book project fully funded! Thank You!

 

There are four videos: An Introduction, followed by three lessons.

Introduction
You have tools of the mind, body, heart and spirit that you can use to expand your arousal and orgasmic abilities. In this mini-class I present your primary mind tool, awareness and your primary body tool, breath. I’ll give you some ideas for various ways to play with your tools. These are the skills you can use to turn-up your turn-on!

Lesson 1: Awareness and Breath
Your most foundational mind tool is your awareness. The foundational body tool is your breath.

Lesson 2: Sound & Intention
Sound can amplify sensation. Intention directs energy. Learn more about using sound and intention.

Lesson 3:  Move It!
Movement is another multi-purpose tool to increase your arousal and expand your orgasms.

Posted in Blog, Hot Tips, Sexy Skills | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Vibrator Series (part 3) – Hitachi Magic Wand

A great starter vibrator for women: the Hitachi Magic Wand preferably with the right attachments. It serves multiple purposes – external stimulation to the clitoris and other outer parts of the vulva plus, with a firm g-spotter attachment, you can stimulate the g-spot (urethral sponge).

Posted in Ask the Sex Teacher Anything, Blog, Rave Recommendations | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Vibrator Series (part 2) – Will Using a Vibrator Cause Nerve Damage?

Another vibrator myth toppled. Vibrator use will not cause temporary or irreparable damage! Allow me to explain …

Posted in Ask the Sex Teacher Anything, Blog, Sexual Health, Women | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

May Is National Masturbation Month

Shunga - Solo Sex

Click here to visit the Solo Sex Gallery in our Erosphere

Or, as I prefer to call it:
May is Celebrate Solo Sex Month!

It all began in 1994 at a UN conference on AIDS, when Surgeon General Dr. Joycelyn Elders (the first African American and only the second woman to hold the position) was asked a question about promoting masturbation as a means of decreasing riskier behavior. She replied, “I think that it is part of human sexuality, and perhaps it should be taught.”

Oh, my! A hesitant advocacy for solo sex! For taking matters into your own hot little hands! For touching yourself, in that way, down there! What will our top health care proponent say next? Well, we don’t know because she was canned shortly thereafter for her cautious admission that sex with yourself is a normal part of being human. And for suggesting that it might be something we would want to encourage.

In response, the following year three feminist sex shops deemed May to be National Masturbation Month, 31 days of celebrating sex with yourself. It seems appropriate when everything is bursting and blooming.

And here it is 17 years later and where are we with promoting, advocating and celebrating masturbation? You would think with our current climate of abstinence-only fear-based sex education that we’d be encouraging our teens to self-pleasure. And teaching them how. After all, as Woody Allen so famously said, “At least it’s sex with someone I love”.

Yet since the definition of abstinence is unclear we don’t even know if most sex-ed programs for teens include solo-sex as an option, much less as a behavior that we encourage. The most common sexual behavior is still shameful, mocked and not celebrated or taught as the empowering self-loving, healthy act that it is. It doesn’t seem like we’ve made much progress!

However, at least on a personal level, you can reclaim you right to delicious self-pleasure right now! And all month! Are you being a fabulous lover to yourself? When was the last time you had a hot date with you? Perhaps you need to spice up your life with more solo-quickies! Whatever else you do, remember to take time this month for your pleasure. Dedicate a few orgasms to Jocelyn or your other heros and heroines of sexual liberation, including, I hope yourself! Go on, go play with yourself, all month long. And why stop there? You can celebrate self-love for your whole life!

Posted in Blog, In The News | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Vibrator Series (part 1) – Will Using a Vibrator Ruin Sex with Real Live Partners?

People worry that using a vibrator will spoil sex and will make it impossible to ever get off just by using your hand or using someone else’s various body parts. I get this question all the time. Allow me to reassure you and dispel this myth.

Posted in Ask the Sex Teacher Anything, Women | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment