Chapter 11: Some Body
Breath, Sound and Movement
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- Play & Practice: Solo Play—The Big Draw
- Play & Practice: Solo Play—Yogic Fire Breath
- Play & Practice: Solo & Partner Play—Shake Your Booty
- Play & Practice: Solo, Partner and Friends Play—Belly, Booty and Baby Dance
- Play & Practice: Hot and Juicy Tips—Play with Pelvic Power
- Play & Practice: Solo Play—Your Handy Dandy Personal Biofeedback Machine
- Play & Practice: Solo Play—Hold It
- Play & Practice: Hot Tips—Softening and Releasing Your Pelvic Floor Muscles
- Play & Practice: Solo Play—Rock, Roll & Resonate
Breathe fast and deep for 30 seconds, then do a Big Draw, pull in a big breath and hold it. Imagine the air circulating in a spiral inside your head. Hold it for as long as is comfortable, then release with a big sigh.
Repeat the big draw, hold and release two more times. Do a few cycles of fast breathing followed by a Big Draw and see what happens.
Do rapid deep diaphragmatic panting for 30 seconds, with emphasis on the exhalation, then take a deep inhalation and hold for 10-15 seconds. Focus on the solar plexus, imagine the energy circulating or spiraling there. Exhale when you need to and take a couple of slow, relaxing complete breaths. Repeat the cycle three or four times. This classic use of the Fire Breath with the emphasis on your solar plexus can be expanded to use in any of your chakras.
Dance and rhythm are deeply tied into arousal—remember that in the animal world, procreation follows a “mating dance”.
A fun way to open to your arousal energy—and get some exercise while you’re at it—is to wiggle and shake your behind (without thinking about whether you look good or not). Shaking your booty is a great warm-up as it gets the sexual energy flowing and activates your arousal. It also produces stronger, more fluid climaxes.
Do it to pumping throbbing music or to your own inner rhythm. If you’re using music, pick your favorite percussive upbeat music and dance, with lots of hip action, for five to ten minutes or more. Shake your booty. Shimmy your hips. Vibrate everything you’ve got to wake it up! Have fun! Dance like nobody’s watching (they aren’t!) Notice how you feel as you dance. Then get still and notice how you feel.
For partner play sessions, try beginning with a shimmy and shake dance.
What most people think of as belly dance is actually an ancient sacred womanly art designed to enhance fertility, sexuality and the ability to birth babies. Take a page from Middle Eastern dance’s playbook for more Eros-enhancing ways to move your pelvis. Put on upbeat or Middle Eastern dance music and shake, rock, pivot and pulse what your momma gave you.
Some good basic movements to practice are:
- A hip shimmy (small or large vibration)
- A figure-8 with your hips. Trace a figure-8 in one direction, then the other.
- Big hip circles
- Rocking side-to-side
- Draw circles in the air. Roll your hips like they’re buttering the inside of a circle.
Throw in some spinal undulations, shoulder shimmies and whatever else you feel inspired to do. Have fun. Notice what happens when you dance for two, five or twenty minutes.
Keep your pelvis loose, flexible and strong. Here are some saucy suggestions for playing with your pelvic power:
- Take dance classes. Especially recommended: Middle Eastern, African, erotic dance (Pole dancing, Strip classes …)
- Use a hula hoop
- Do Pilates
- Practice yoga
- Add playful pelvic rocks to your sexual warm-up or during your love-making sessions. To do this with a partner, face each other a few feet apart or belly-to-belly. Alternatively, do it lying down either face-to-face (and crotch-to-crotch) or in a back-to-front spooning position.
Use your hands as a biofeedback device to learn more about what you have, how it’s working and how to play with your PFMs. You may want to do this with your eyes closed so you can use your inner vision to better sense what you’re feeling.
If you’re male, put one hand around your penis and the other just beneath your balls, on the base of your lingam or just beyond that, on your perineum.
If you’re female, put one hand on your perineum and one or two fingers inside your vagina (with lube, please).
Whatever version of apparatus you own, you can also learn about the anal portion of your pelvic floor by putting a finger inside your anus (with lube, again).
Play with moving your muscles and feeling the movements with your fingers. Notice what kind of movements you can do. Note the amount of strength and tension in your muscles.
Try combining this with other exercises. You can do this with or without arousal.
Stronger pelvic floor muscles bring bigger orgasms. Here’s an isometric exercise to strengthen your pelvic floor. Tighten with your inhale and hold for at least five seconds. Release with your exhale. Repeat. As you get stronger, try holding longer and longer. You’ll feel a difference in the intensity of your orgasms as your pelvic floor muscles get stronger and more responsive.
Keep at it. Progress happens surprisingly quickly! It won’t take long to get your bottom strong!
Some people’s pelvic floor muscles are too tight and tense. It’s just as important to be able to relax and release these muscles as it is for them to be strong. If it’s difficult for you to relax your bottom, experiment with releasing with an exhale. Try doing this in a tub of hot water, into a hot compress, or just into your own hot hands. Imagine your bottom softening, loosening and opening. Making soft sighing sounds can help, too.
Now let’s play with the trio of breath, pelvic tilt and sound. You can do this standing or lying down. Either way, make sure to keep your knees bent.
- Downward ‘Ah’ Pelvic Curl. Inhale and thrust forward. Exhale and let your pelvis fall back and say “Ahh” or “Ha”. Do this for a few minutes, gradually quickening the pace. Maintain a rapid pace for a few minutes, then take a few minutes to slow down.
- Upward ‘Ohh’ Pelvic Curl. Inhale and arch the pelvis back and slightly up. Exhale and curl forward. Emit a big grunty “Ohh” or “Ho” on the exhale. Start slowly and gradually speed up. Then gradually slow down.
Tune into your pleasure. Notice how you feel. After you’re done, relax into stillness and notice what you’re experiencing.