Chapter 10: How To Be a Sex Brainiac
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- Play & Practice: Solo Play—Tell Yourself an Erotic Tale
- Play & Practice: Partner Play—Relationship Intentions
- Make Your Mind A No-Crime Zone
Look for opportunities to play with erotic energy by using your imagination to entertain and arouse yourself with sexy stories. Feel free to use whatever images and stories get you off.
When you see an attractive person, imagine a perfect sexy encounter with them. Or invent your perfect lover and have him or her fulfill your every desire.
If you find that making up erotic stories isn’t your forte, feel free to use other people’s imaginations. There’s no shortage of erotica and pornography, so make use of it! Ladies, don’t get discouraged if much of what’s out there doesn’t work for you. The supply of women-oriented, female-positive erotica and pornography is growing rapidly.
If you’re in a committed long-term relationship, have you taken the time to elucidate your long-term intentions?
- My intention is to love you exactly how you most want to be loved.
- Today my intention is to appreciate you and all you do.
- My intention is to share more nurturing touch.
Each of you can ponder privately, make a list and then share them. You can review them annually or seasonally, adding and changing as appropriate.
You may also want to start your day by sharing intentions for the day. Before bed, you may want to review how you did at remembering and maintaining them.
Here’s one way to de-criminalize your thoughts: make your mind a no-crime zone. Begin by identifying the ideas and messages that you carry inside that keep you from connecting with your full potential. Pick one story at a time to work on and give yourself permission to explore it in your imagination. Try things out—see if they build your turn-on.
If voices saying “You really shouldn’t!” start intruding on your experience, tell them nicely to go away and then return to whatever it was that alarmed those Legions of Decency. Since it got them so scared, you’re probably onto something! While you can do this exercise in a state of non-arousal, doing it while physically turned on will amplify the effects.