A Paradigm of Empowerment, Connection & Passion
By Sheri Winston
Are You Craving Connection?
We all long for a sense of union and yearn for attachment. Everyone craves deep connection. Yet, so many people feel alone, and live shadowed by a sense of disconnection and isolation. Having sex is certainly one of the common practices that people use to feel, at least temporarily, united. Unfortunately, they often don’t have the kind of sex they dream of and wind up feeling even more disengaged then ever. I believe that part of the problem is the way that we think about sex, about connection and about our selves.
I offer you a new way to relate, a new model of sexuality—Wholistic SexualityTM. In essence, Wholistic SexualityTM is about connection, beginning with your connection to your Self.
It’s All About You
That’s right. I’m saying that at heart (or perhaps lower) sex isn’t about what you do with other people behind a closed door. First and foremost, your sexuality is about your relationship with your Self.
And, let’s face it, you’re complicated. One way to understand your Self is to understand that you’re made up of interconnected, overlapping spheres, the domains of your mind, body, spirit and heart, which are linked and surrounded by an energy matrix. You are your past, both all that you remember and all that you’ve forgotten, as well as your present and the myriad futures you imagine. Your relationship with yourself is formed by genetics, upbringing, and experiences. It’s an amalgam of your beliefs, assumptions, and values. Your sexuality is composed of fantasy and reality, dancing with your deep desires, permeated by needs and challenges. Your sexuality is an inherent part of who you are, and all that makes you, uniquely you.
It’s About Everything
Your sexuality is also about your connection to everyone and everything. It includes relationships with your intimate partners as well as your friends and family, influenced by media, history and culture. It’s part of all aspects of your life including your work and your play, your communities and spiritual traditions. Like a hologram, your sexuality is a microcosm that reflects and manifests everything from the personal to the planetary.
Lifelong Learning Journey
We’re on a lifelong journey of learning and discovery and that is especially true about our sexuality. Here’s a key fact to comprehend about sex: much of our sexuality is learned, including our erotic capacities and responses. Like learning to play an instrument and make beautiful music, we learn how to play our selves to make sexual magic.
Practice Makes Access!
Each of us comes fully equipped with all the apparatus we need to access ecstasy. You can think of your self as having tools, of mind, body, spirit, heart & energy. We all have the equipment but not everyone learns how to fully operate it and really make it sing. Just like learning to play the piano, our sexual skills need to be learned, and then practiced if we want to develop mastery. The more you practice, the easier it gets.
How You Learn
First you need to develop a foundation of basic skills. Once you become adept at the essentials, you can go on to cultivate more advanced abilities. The foundational skill set is your solo-skills, that is, the ability to competently play your own instrument. Once you have facility with your own sexual self skills, you can master partner skills and play delightful duets with others. Everyone can learn these skills and become sexually adept. Of course, there’s always more to learn on the journey to erotic mastery. Even virtuoso musicians always continually hone their craft.
In order to learn to be a sexual virtuoso you need to know what’s possible, then how to get there. It’s crucial to have accurate maps, usable guides and true templates for this journey. When you have functional and empowering models of what sex is and what it can be, then you can follow that path to reach your full sexual potential.
To begin with, we need to free our words and discover, create or reclaim luscious, comfortable and hot language. Then we can really start to talk about sex, learn about it and consciously create our sexuality.
Believe it or not, our current understanding of female and male genitalia is incomplete and inaccurate. How you play your instrument or anyone else’s if you don’t even know what’s really there and how it operates? We need to know the whole truth about our bodies. The lack of this fundamental information has myriad serious repercussions.
Erotic Owners Operating Manual
After you get the picture of the basic equipment, then you need to know how it works, and how you can make it work better. For example, once you understand the process of arousal, and learn to fully utilize your innate tools, you can dramatically enhance your sexual experiences.
We need to reclaim sex from the shame-mongers. Sex is the inherently sacred power that creates life. When you recognize your potential, you are unleashed to explore the vast and potentially transcendent realms of orgasm and ecstasy. Your sexuality is a powerful, transformative gift that’s your personal manifestation of the universal life force. Sexual pleasure is your human birthright. Claim it! Free your sexuality and you’ll tap into your very own vital wellspring of joy. After all, it’s yours!
An expanded version of this article is available as a downloadable ebook.