Tag Archive for: sexual lubricant

Coconut Oil: Getting It In When You’re Getting It On!

Getting coconut oil onto your vulva is easy, but getting it where you need it most—deep inside your vagina—can be tricky. Luckily it’s easy to make suppositories or use applicators to help!

Lubricate and MoisturizePouring Coconut Milk

Lubricants make things slide and stay on the surface of your tissues. They’re wonderful for sex. They reduce friction and prevent irritation. Just as importantly, lubricants increase sensation and pleasure. While the vagina does produce its own lubrication, some women are just naturally less moist then others. Sexual arousal increases the production of natural vaginal juice, although when and how much can vary. At certain times of life, such as after menopause or after having a baby, there may be little lubrication no matter how aroused you are. I believe additional lubrication is always good since when it comes to erotic play, slipperier is better.

Moisturizers are absorbed into your tissues, improving tone, elasticity and resilience. They are particularly useful if your natural lubricating abilities are decreased such as during post-menopause, with certain medications and forms of birth control, and post-partum. If you’re going for healing your vagina, use coconut oil or other natural vaginal moisturizing products multiple times every day. Think of it as feeding your vaginal mucosa (the moist inner lining of the canal) and apply three times a day.

Vaginal Drynessjeff robinson_double coconuts_CC Lic

For those times in life when your vagina is dry, using additional lubricant can make the difference between pain and pleasure.

You may want to check out my Lube Rules blog post for lots more lube info.

Natural Plant-Based Oils

You can use any natural plant-based oil topically as a sexual lubricant. I highly recommend using organic products.

My favorite is coconut oil, which is a natural plant oil. It smells and tastes somewhere between barely-there and delicious. I also love coconut oil because it acts as both a lubricant and a moisturizer!

Other nice body-friendly and yummy oils include almond oil, jojoba oil, sesame oil and apricot kernel oil.

Plant-oils are NOT latex-compatible. DO NOT USE WITH LATEX PRODUCTS SUCH AS LATEX CONDOMS!

Phu Thinh Co-Coconut & Oil CC LicCoconut Oil

I like to use it straight. Just dip some out of the jar and slather it on.

Regular coconut oil is solid when cool and a liquid when warm. When it’s in its solid form, it melts deliciously at body temperature. If you want it to stay liquid at all temperatures, all the time, use fractionated coconut oil. Virgin coconut oil has a stronger coconut scent.

Coconut oil is also good for vaginas as it’s mildly anti-fungal and anti-bacterial (but only against the ‘bad’ bacteria and not the ‘good’ ones that live in a healthy vaginal ecosystem). (See Vaginal Ecology posts for more info,)

Getting In When You’re Getting Down

Slathering the outer parts of your genitals and using oil on anything that’s going inside is good! By using your fingers, you can get a little bit of oil inside the vagina, but not much and not far inside. So what are you going to do when the inner parts of your vagina need some extra luscious lubrication?

Make Coconut Oil Suppositories

To make: Start with warm liquid coconut oil. If you’re adding other oils, mix them in.

Pour the oil into ice cube trays, filling each compartment about ½ way. (Or about 1/2 inch deep) Or use a small glass square or rectangular baking dish.

Put the tray in the refrigerator. Cool until just firm. Take it out and slice each cube of coconut oil into 2 or 3 sticks, about the size of your pinkie. (About 1½ inches long)

Put it back in the fridge and leave it there until it’s very solid.

Remove the suppositories from the tray. You now have coconut oil vaginal suppositories. Yay!

Put them in a jar or container and store in the refrigerator.

To use: Unless it’s roasting hot out, the suppository will stay solid for a while at room temperature, so grab a few on your way to your sex place and leave them handy so you can use as needed. When you’re ready to be lubed up internally, take one and insert it deep into your vagina.

Besides using these for sex, you can also use them to help with general vaginal dryness issues. If you’re using them that way, insert one before going to bed.

Power Pack Your Suppositories

For additional healing, add any of these oils or a combination: Wheat germ oil, Vitamin E, evening primrose, borage, black current seed, comfrey, calendula, plantain, red clover.

These oils will stay liquid even when cold, so if you add too much of them, your suppositories won’t get hard. So either just add a little of these oils or make a salve.

It’s easy to make a salve: Just warm all your oils and mix. Then add a few tiny bits of melted pure beeswax or cocoa butter to your oil prior to making it hard.

The Easy Way

A favorite herbal company, Avena Botanicals makes this Vaginal Dryness Oil, which is an easy short-cut to add to your suppositories. (They also make a lovely Yoni Creme that makes for great lubricant and can be used daily as a soothing vulvar topical.)

Use an Applicator

If you don’t want to make suppositories, here’s another option for getting creams, salves and liquids into the vagina—use an applicator.

The plastic applicators that come with many vaginal cream products will work with any cream or salve. Clean your applicator with soap and water after use and it will last forever.

You can also use a large syringe (Not the needle — just the barrel). You can buy these marketed as lube applicators at many sexuality product stores. They come with applicator nozzles and are usually marketed as anal lubricators. They work fine for getting lube in your anus as well, but since anal bacteria should never be in your vagina, I recommend not using the same applicator for your butt and your vagina, even if you do clean them well, as of course you should.

It’s Worth It

Take a little time to make suppositories or get an applicator and you’ll be glad you did. Getting the lube deep inside and coating the inner walls of your vagina will make for a very happy vagina-owner. (And, if you have visitors, they’ll be happy, too.) You’ll be slippin’ and slidin’, satisfied and slathered!


Arousal_frontcover-w-Book of theYear AwardWant more info on vaginas and related parts? Check out my award-winning book, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal and/or the online course by the same name, Women’s Anatomy of Arousal Online Course to learn about all things vagina!

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Lube Rules!

In 2016 I offered a free online class about SEX TOYS: The Good, the Baaad and the Slutty.
(You can still get the recording here)Woman Riding Vibrator

As part of all my online education, I always give lots of extra information and resources. As a Wholistic Sexuality teacher and former health care provider, I get asked questions about lubricants all the time. I figured I may as well expand this a bit into a blog post and share it with you.

So, here’s a short primer on the rules of lube and why lube rules!

Lube Rules_Circe Invidiosa-WaterhouseWhy Lube?

Lubricants make everything wetter, slipperier, slick and slidey. Yum!

While vaginas do produce natural lubrication, even if you’re a vagina-owner who produces plenty of natural lubricant, more is better. Also, keep in mind that while vaginal lubrication is a sign of early arousal for some women, most vaginas won’t get super-slippery until the vagina-owner is in high level arousal. Beyond taking the time for a women’s entire erectile tissue network to get totally engorged, this is another good reason to wait until you’re really turned on before putting anything inside!

And, for those times in life when your vagina is dry, such as post-partum, post-menopause, or when you’re on birth control pills, using additional lubricant can make the difference between pain and pleasure.

Using lube is also essential for anal penetration play. The anus produces little natural lubricant and the tissues are fragile.

In addition, if you are using barriers for safer sex play or contraception, lube increases the pleasure quotient significantly. A few drops of lube inside the tip of the condom increases the penis-owners’ sensation (not inside the whole thing though – that would cause it to slip off!) Once the condom is on, slathering the outside will increase the pleasure for the recipient and reduce the chance of breakage—a win-win if I ever heard one! Similarly, some lube on the receiver’s side of a dental dam makes that ‘piece of plastic’ seem to disappear.

Lubricants and Moisturizers

It’s important to know the difference between lubricants and moisturizers. Lubricants make things slide and stay on the surface of your tissues. They’re good for sex, reducing friction and irritation and increasing sensation and pleasure. Moisturizers are absorbed into your tissues, improving tone, elasticity and resilience.

Lube Rules

  1. Oil doesn’t mix with latex. Oil causes latex to deteriorate rapidly leading to the dreaded breakage! (or tiny holes that are huge to sperm and microbes!)
  • There are basically two kinds of oil-based lubricant products: those based on petroleum (Vaseline, petroleum jelly, mineral oil) and those using plant-based oils (coconut oil, sunflower oil, etc.).
  • No oil-based products of either kind can be used with latex products.
    • This includes natural latex products (the vast majority of condoms) as well as polyisoprene (synthetic latex) products.
  1. Water-based lubricants can be used with any products.
  2. Silicone lubes can NOT be used with silicon sex toys. They will cause them to degrade.

Condom Sense

Most condoms are made of latex, which is stretchy, thin and comes in a wide variety of sizes and styles. They’re inexpensive and fine for most people. However, for people who are latex-sensitive (get irritated) or allergic (have serious reactions) or who wish to use plant-based oils like coconut oil, there are some non-latex options.

Types of Non-Latex Condoms that CAN be used with natural oils:

  • Polyurethane
    • Trojan™ Supra Condoms
    • Trojan BareSkin Condoms
  •  Nitrile
    • FC2 Female Condom
  • Lambskin condoms: I generally don’t recommend them as they DO NOT PROTECT AGAINST INFECTIONS!

Types of Non-Latex Condoms that CAN NOT be used with natural oils:

  • Polyisoprene (synthetic latex) These synthetic latex products can have the same issues that natural latex does, that is, oils will degrade them.)
    • LifeStyles® Skyn Condoms
    • Durex Real Feel Condoms

Natural Plant-Based Oils

If you aren’t using latex barriers, you can use any natural plant-based oil as a sexual lubricant. I recommend using organic products. You can find a wide selection at natural food store, sexuality shops and online.

My favorite natural lubricant is good old coconut oil, which acts as both a lubricant and a moisturizer! You just use it straight out of the jar. It smells and tastes delicious. It’s solid when cool and a liquid when warm and it melts deliciously at body temperature. Coconut oil is also good for vaginas as it’s mildly anti-fungal and anti-bacterial (but only against the ‘bad’ bacteria and not the ‘good’ ones that live in a healthy vaginal ecosystem).

Other nice body-friendly and yummy oils include almond oil, jojoba oil, sesame oil and apricot kernel oil.

Make Your Own: Yoni Balm

Yoni is Sanskrit for the ‘entrance to the universe’ or ‘sacred garden of life’. Here’s a recipe for some home-made Yoni Balm using coconut oil as a base.

  • ¼ cup coconut oil (You can also use a mix of coconut, almond, or other plant oils.)
  • 2 tablespoons grated and packed cocoa butter
  • 1-2 vitamin E oil capsules
  • Optional: ½ teaspoon glycerin
  • If you like add non-alcoholic flavoring extracts: vanilla, orange, etc. (No sugar or sweeteners of any kind, though.)

Melt the coconut oil and cocoa butter gently over low heat. While cooling add vitamin E oil (empty 1-2 capsules). Add flavoring and glycerin, if desired. Pour into shallow jars or small containers.

Don’t want to make your own? No worries! One of my favorite herbal companies, Avena Botanicals makes this lovely luscious velvety Yoni Creme.

Water Soluble Lubricants

Water-soluble lubricants are good for latex products and fine with silicone toys. They don’t stain and are easy to wash off. Water-soluble lubes can get sticky and tacky though, so a handy trick to keep them slippery is to use a squirt bottle filled with water and just occasionally use a spritz to rehydrate your lubed body parts.

Unfortunately, most commercial lubricants have a nasty taste and are full of non-body-friendly chemicals. Luckily, there are many natural and organic products on the market now.

My favorite natural water soluble lubes are aloe vera-based. Like coconut oil, aloe acts as both a lubricant and a moisturizer! Among my recommended brands are Good Clean Love (goodcleanlove.com) and Aloe Cadabra (aloecadabra.com). Sliquid (sliquid.com) as a variety of natural lubes, including some with aloe, some without.

Make Your Own: Natural Water-Soluble Lubricant: Flax Seed Goo

May be used internally and externally. It’s soothing, protective, and hypo-allergenic. Plus, when it’s fresh, it has hardly any taste or smell. It’s also water-soluble, thus latex-compatible.

  • One cup flax seeds (whole seeds-not ground)
  • 6 cups water (think juicy sex!)
  • Bring to a boil. Turn down heat. Simmer 6 minutes. Turn off heat. Let sit for 6 minutes. Strain the goo from the seeds. You have now made some sexy slime.Put in large jar in the fridge and put a smaller amount in a small jar or squeeze bottle to have handy for sex. It will keep for up to 2 months in the refrigerator, 2-3 days room temperature. It may be preserved with grapefruit seed extract, calcium ascorbate or a similar vitamin C compound, vitamin E, potassium sorbate, essential oil of lavender, rosemary, sandalwood oil, or tea tree oil.

Silicon Lubes

Silicone lubes are really slippery and long-lasting. They don’t wash off easily, so they’re great for use in the water. Three that I like are Wet (stayswetlonger.com), Pjur (pjurusa.com) & ID (idlube.com).

Samples & Sensitivity

Many companies offer sampler packs so you can try their various products. Also, most sex-education oriented brick-and-mortar stores have lube testers available so you can feel and taste the various products. As with any product, you may be sensitive to some ingredients even if they’re fine for other people. Start off by skin testing on a non-sensitive body part like your inner wrist. Assuming you have no negative reactions after a few hours, then try a small amount on your more delicate bits!

Slather and enjoy!


ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:

Condom Depot for all thing condom including non-latex condoms. Beyond their selection of a wide variety of latex and non-latex condoms, they also have a supremely useful Condom Size Chart so you can get the right size to improve comfort and reduce slippage and breakage.

Condom Size: Another good condom size chart.

Female Condom FAQ

What’s The Best Lubricant? 10 Natural Lubes To Bring HomeJess Kapadia, Huffington Post

What’s the Best Natural Sexual Lubricant? You Might Be SurprisedJill Richardson, AlterNet. (Though I don’t agree with the author about plant-based oils)

The 5 Best All Natural Lubes—Lexi’s Green Guide


This blog is from the More Info & Resources that goes along with a FREE ONLINE CLASS: SEX TOYS: The Good, the Baaaad and the Slutty. (You can get the recording here.)


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